The War Whoop (Abilene, Tex.), Vol. 61, No. 8, Ed. 1, Friday, December 2, 1983 Page: 2 of 8
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WM
WQ
LIFE IN THE
MICROCOSM
By
KAREN
L. MARVEL
h " "" am
"Our tragedy today is a general
and universal physical fear so
long sustained by now that we can
even bear it.. .There is only the
question When will I be blown
up?"
When William Faulkner ac-
cepted the Nobel Prize for Li-
terature in 1950 he spoke of the
fears of nuclear war. Thirty-three
years later the world's attention
has once again focused on this
issue.
"The Day After" ABC's con-
FACULTY CORNER
By
DR. PHILIP
SHULER
It had been a busy semester
and I felt the need for a break a
lull before the storm. Back then
the Christmas holidays preceded
the final examinations and pro-
vided much needed time for the
term papers. And of course I
was one of those students whose
Christmas vacation included such
last minute tasks. Nothing was
really different as that Christmas
approached but I had decided
that my term projects were not
going to ruin my Christmas ob-
servance. When I walked into the house I
knew that Christmas preparations
awaited my arrival from college.
Since it was just Mother and I
our plans usually consisted of a
trip to Uncle Charley's (her
brother's house). But not this
ycarl I had vetoed the trip
because I wanted to be home for
Christmas. With only two days
remaining I figured I'd better get
started.
Oh I was ready to go home. I
counted the weeks days hours
minutes seconds.. .until I could
go home. At home I would find
rest and peace. Much needed rest
and peace.
Well I made it through the 2V
day week before Thanksgiving. It
is a wonder how many tests and
papers can be crammed into those
few hours when the profs had had
all semester for such things.
But now I was on my way
home.
I met Mom at the door. She was
holding her arms out and running
to me. Let me rephrase that she
I Mf B
A LAUGHING MATTER
LAURA IKVH
LEIGH Vljl
McLEOD BH
Christmas shopping plague strikes
At Christmas time beautiful
carols fill the air bright decora-
tions garnish every home and
shop yet one horrible plague
overshadows the wonder of it all.
We commonly refer to this plague
as Christmas shopping.
The dreaded disease has been
brought on by the massive com-
mercialization that Christmas has
been the victim of over the years.
What exactly is this plague and
how can we stop it?
The actual cause of the Christ-
mas shoppers' plague is not
Agreement needed
on nuclear arms
trovcrsial movie about the effects
of a nuclear holocaust on Kansas
may not have been authentic but
it caught people's attention.
According to the titles at the end
of the movie a real war would be
much worse. Fortunately we
have nothing to gauge the movie
against yet. The speakers which
followed the movie seemed to feel
that life would be possible dif-
ferent from our current sheltered
existence but still a life worth
living.
ABC accomplished its 3 "R'"s:
ratings revenue and response.
Memories
Christmas
The first item was the Christ-
mas tree. I decided that I had had
enough of Christmas tree lots.
wanted a real tree so I headed for
the country. Six hours and in-
numerable miles on foot later I
found the right one. It was as I
remember a four and one half
foot perfectly shaped cedar tree.
And if I turned the tree a little no
one would notice the single flaw
in Mother Nature's gracious de-
sign. My only real problem was
the dull hatchet. I must confess
that once standing it was a
beautiful tree.
The next day was spent shop-
ping. I had several gifts to buy.
There were my best friend Don
and several other high school
friends whom I hadn't seen for
quite some time. I also bought
some Christmas cards to send
newly-made college friends. They
wouldn't arrive before Christmas
but I figured the thought would
count for something. And of
course I wanted to find some-
thing special for Mom. Even
though I hadn't put a great deal of
advanced thought into it ad
Thanksgiving visit
a disappointment
was holding her arms out and
running past me.
"Mom!" She jumped in the car
and drove away yelling about a
turkey and relatives.
Dad was asleep in front of the
T.V.
"Dad I'm home."
"Good what's the score?"
My brother came down the
hall.
"Hey sis."
"Did you miss me?"
"You've been gone?"
So much for the sentimentality.
Of course all Thanksgivings
previous to this one have been
slow and restful. This Thanks-
giving Dad's 11 brothers and
sisters decided to come. There
known but there are some symp-
toms to be aware of.
One of the first signs is a rapid
pulse rate as one nears a shop-
ping mall. There is one parking
place left and the afflicted person
is willing to kill for it. Once inside
the mall the shopper walks at a
much faster pace than usual and
loses all regard for acceptable
social behavior. The plagued
shopper also has gained a defi-
nite increase in the ability to spot
sale tags. It is similar to an inborn
homing device.
Now our country can sit back and
accept the producer's verdict or
attempt to produce one of our
own. We have only the devasta-
tion of Hiroshima and Nagasaki
(which were minor compared to
present capabilities) to remind us
of the deadly potential involved.
The United States and the Soviet
Union must come to an agree-
ment on weaponry. Whether they
choose to ban or limit production
it must be within a range that
cannot destroy the planet. The
stakes arc too high: escalation of
power and numbers leads to
annihilation.
of a
past
vanced planning was not one of
my trumps I was now ready for
Christmas.
As I look back now I really
don't know why this Christmas
has meant so much to me through
the years. Nothing unusual hap-
pened at least in comparison
with years gone by. Mother and I
spent Christmas Eve alone and
Christmas Day. Wc exchanged
our gifts and ate Christmas
dinner. I'm not sure she knew my
real feelings. Perhaps it was the
cedar smell that permeated the
whole house. Perhaps it was the
shopping in my home town and
seeing a few of my then close
friends both activities I now
know were to be seldom repeated.
Perhaps it was a quiet Christmas
Eve and day at home. Upon
'.further reflection I now know it to
have been the combination of all
of these. I remember it well-
it continues to be important to
me because it was the last time I
celebrated Christmas in the home
of my youth.
were relatives in my house I had
never seen before.
The food was delicious and
filling. Yet with 50 people at the
table seconds are scarce not to
mention how small the portions
were to begin with.
The relatives stayed until Sun-
day afternoon. For three days I
talked about how Aunt Jane
looked and Uncle Todd was
feeling. That is hard to do. Get
real I want to talk about me.
So I left early Sunday morning
I had counted the days hours
minutes seconds to leave and
come back where I would find
peace and rest. Much needed
peace and rest.
Yet this phenomena is only
present from the day after
Thanksgiving till Dec. 24. The
speech patterns of these indivi-
duals has also been affected and
are reported as saying "charge
it" in their sleep. It is question-
able if anyone has ever died from
this dreaded disease yet it is a
traumatic experience for the
shoppers and their families.
The Christmas shopper can be
greatly helped by advanced
planning. AH of us have heard of
the people who pick up the great
WAR WHOOP;
The adventures of Joe Slime
- rf.rk y--v w
Since last wc left Joe Slime he has managed to avoid Jiis foe Rick.
Joe is in the best shape of his life training with Jeff his roommate
as if for the heavyweight title. He is a lean mean fighting machine.
It's now Saturday morning. The start of Slime Olympics is only
about 15 minutes away.
Joe Jill and Jeff arc standing under a tree in Wall Wahtaysce Park.
"Why arc you carrying that big purse?" Joe asked of Jill.
"Just am" she replied. Changing the subject she asked "What all
arc they going to do for the Slime Olympics?"
"Well from what I've heard the Freshmen will have several teams
in the competition along with the one for the uppcrclassmcn..." Joe
began.
"The events will be the big ball race the egg toss thrcc-lcggcd
race wheelbarrow race and tug-of-war" Jeff finished.
"Thanks for letting me tell about it" Joe said in mock disgust.
"Any time" Jeff replied.
They all laughed or Joe and Jeff did. What Jill had seen was no
laughing matter. It was Rickl
She gulped. Joe and Jeff followed her stare. The smiles vanished
from their faces.
"Keep calm Joe. If he starts anything you just remember what I've
taught you. Don't try any fancy kicks or punches just strike where it
counts. And Joe Joe Joel" Jeff shook Joe back to awareness "I'll be
here if you need help buddy."
"Thanks Jeff."
Rick walked to within two feet of Joe.
"Maybe you'd better back away too Jill" Joe said. "Go on."
"No" Jill replied firmly.
"Gonna let the lady do your fighlin punk?" Rick demanded.
With this two fists and a purse flew through the air. Two people fell
Joe and Rick both were out cold.
"WOW. I don't bellVC It." Jeff latlohrri. "Rlrlr lrnrvtrrH nut In. Ut
Joe didn't hit Rick that solidly.
anyway i
Jill relieved that it was over smiled and revealed the contents of her
purse.
Jeff retrieved a huge paperweight out of it. "Pretty smart young
lady."
As he dropped it back in the nurse. Jill said. "Don't vnn ivr n t
about that. Let him think he did
Sure. Maybe we should try to bring him around."
Joe came to groggy asking "What happened?"
"You knocked him out. See!" Jeff oolnterf tnunrH th form
sprawled out on the ground.
joe sat up shaking out the cobwebs. "I did?"
"You sure did. One punch too."
"Yeah I remember. Ouch! Mv hand nmcmlwK tm i. cii
flexing his fingers.
Withing a few minutes Joe was up and around. The few people that
had gathered around had none overthf uhm th ... ... .!.
for Slime Olympics. Jill and Joe
kick came to ana Jctr told him what had happened about how Joe
had decked him. Rick stood up shaking his head.
uui me dbck oi my nead hurts" he said.
"Joe hit you again as you were falling."
Satisfied with this answer. Rlrt untwi ur-ir m j t.ui u.
head.
Jeff joined the others in the Olympics.
All that were there had a orrnt tlmo Mmnri i- - i:r.i
o-
made. Many made new friends.
Joe Jill and Jeff were kind of
come to an end. But they would
jri.ui. jcuy juims
sales in February for next year.
These are the people who at
Thanksgiving have completed
their shopping three weeks hence
and are calm and collected. They
have no rush for time or panic for
extra credit cards. However these
people make the Christmas
shoppers plague more acute by
adding nausea to the long horri-
fying list of symptoms.
There is something to be said
for shopping last though. The
stores are decorated and the
electricity in the air brings anti-
Page 2
f -W 22A- ft
What have you got in that purse
it himself."
followed the crowd.
" """" "UU"K "s
- V.MU41W iu mil a mtUHic wcic
sarf thnt limnc ..... . h.i ua
get to harass the Freshmen next
cipation. The early shopper ex-
periences none of this excite-
ment. The Christmas shopper is now
a fixture in our society and will
doubtfully ever disappear. We
must learn to accept this tragic
plague and watch for the symp-
toms in ourselves and try to
alleviate them.
Dec. 2 1983
WEST TEXAS EXTRAVAGANZA
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The War Whoop (Abilene, Tex.), Vol. 61, No. 8, Ed. 1, Friday, December 2, 1983, newspaper, December 2, 1983; Abilene, Texas. (https://texashistory.unt.edu/ark:/67531/metapth104426/m1/2/: accessed April 30, 2024), University of North Texas Libraries, The Portal to Texas History, https://texashistory.unt.edu; crediting McMurry University Library.