The Simmons Brand (Abilene, Tex.), Vol. 2, No. 10, Ed. 1, Friday, November 23, 1917 Page: 4 of 4
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SIMMERIN9S pF SJMH
(Ffod Cdle tollln'g a Hbward Payno
girl of tho mustache club at Simmons.
Howard Payno girl; W6 will k'lll
'you it you organlzo anything llko that
R. & H Queen
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Also FATTY ARBUCKLE In
"The Rough House"
MONDAY AND TUESDAY
BILLIB BURKE Uf Qj."
Also New Vitagraph Comedy and a New Weekly
H6rd
Fred: Yes thoy dp ttcklo protly
badly.
Duko: Ferris did you over attend a
military BCh&ol?
Fords; Yob I wont to ono throo
days 1 wjib in tho guard houso two
of tho days and in conference with
tho commanding officer tho other. .
Raymond Foy In Biology lab.: Pro. '
Arnctto whero is tho arboral aspect
of this star fish?
Make Your Dollars Have More Cents
By Shopping At
J. C. Penny Co.
See Us For Dry Goods Clothing and Shoes.
We Can Save You Money
PERSONALS
Paul Watanabo preached at View
Sunday.
Misses Noll and Lucy Tracey spont
tho week ond with homefolks at Mer-
kol. Bond Foathorstono went to Brown-
wood with tho team and camo back
by bis home in Coleman county.
. Frank Armstrong wont to Morkol
to boo homo folks Saturday.
Roy McCullough stopped off at Santa
Anna on his roturn with tho team from
Brownwood.
Misses Loalio Treadwell and John-
nlo Konnody wore visiting friends at
O. I. H.'tho first of tho week.
Miss Inez Rathff of Avoca is back
In school after a fow months absence
Bon Russol of Balrd has left school
with tho Intention of joining tho ar-
my. Durward McKinsoy popular football
playor left school last Monday on ac-
count of illness of his parents.
D. Q. Rlddlo and Carroll Spanglcr
wont to Brownwood with the team.
Miss Jadle Mao Bills of Galo Tex-
as visited la Simmons this week.
Miss Salllo Dobbins has boon visiting
Miss Tilda Arterburn this week.
Dwight Patterson a former student
was in tho city for a fow hours last
week. Dwight 1b working In a bank
at Grand Saline.
Peto Godfioy popular athlete of last
year waB visiting his many friends
on tho campus tho latter part of tho
week. Ppto says that ho would havo
boon In school but he has received no-
tlco to report for military sorvlco
twice and now must bo ready to report
within a twonty-four hour notice.
FOOTBALL NOTICE
All men who Intend to play In tho
Phllo-Clio Foot-ball gamo must report
for practice from now until tho game
Is played. Coach Martin will not lot
anyono play vho does not como out
und practice.
RECEIPE FOR MUSTACHES.
Rub tho upper lips well with salt
at night before retiring. Then place a
pall of water at the head of tho bed.
Tho hairs being made thirsty by the
salt will como forth for a drink. Tho
aspirant should then quickly tie a
( knot In tho hair and It will stay out.
SPECIAL HAT SALE
$1 .75
FOR MEN AND YOUNG MEN
Twelve dozen Novelty Hats in all leading
colors and popular shapes. A special
purchase. While they last we offer them
at choice only $1.75.
Also many extra specials in
Novelty Caps
'
:
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MINTER DRY GOODS COMPANY
- AKImi's Prof rtssjvt Stort
Prof. Arnotte In Biology: Mr. Prlco
your discussion is not exhaustive.
Prico: No but my vocabulary Is.
Why aro you so terribly angry at
Proxy?
Freshman: Tho wretch Bald I was
Intelligent
John Alvls mado a trip to Clyde Sat
uruuy yi upuruiui y iu luuuuuig ua CjIi- i
leptlc Colony there.
College Intellects aro foremost In tho
Nation's progressive thinking; Sim
mons has shown her patriotism by
adopting compulsory military training.
Man is somwhat like a sausage
Very smooth upon tho skin
But you can never tell exactly
How much hog there is within.
-Ex.
Prof. Campbell was in the height of
an eloquent dlssertion on a dramatic
eceno in Shakespeare when tho plum-
ber suddenly peeked 'round the door:
"Say can you cut off your gaB for
Just a minute?'
Dr. Olsen lecturing on food conser-
vation; I have known men to go hun-
gry so thoy could feed their horse.
Mervic Eaton: There would be some
sense In cutting down meat and pota-
toes to buy gasoline.
Prof. Richardson in History Class)
"I am going to give you some refer-
ences." Fish Ballow: "What on?"
Another Fish: "The black-board
of course."
Fish: "Do you mean that tho blind
can determine color by tho sense of
touch."
Senior: "Sure! I onco knew a
man who could tell a red hot Iron by
touching it."
Prof. Chandler: "What does Q. E.
D. at tho end of Geometry propositions
mean?''
Fish: "Quit eating doughnuts."
A woodpecker lit on a Fish's head
And settled down to drill
Ho bored away for half a day
And finally broke his bill.
Freshman to Senior girl: I offer
you my heart's first young affections.
Senior: Son I havo all ways
thought that I .vould like to teach but
I have never cared for kindergarten
work.
(Mr. Campbell and Miss Cubbln dis-
cussing woman suffrage.)
Mr. Campbell: Of course women
should vote. Thoy deserve suffrage
as men moro because their minds
aro cleaner and purer.
Miss Cubbln: Of courso their minds
aro cleaner but how do you know
that?
Mr. Campbell: Because they
change them so much moro often.
(Place Dining table at Mary-Francis
with two bowls of sugar near
Jano Holmp's plat and a bowl of
crackers near Carey's).
Haroy : It' seemB that sweets aro
attracted by sweets.
Jano: Yes and if you will notlco
crackers are attracted by tho "crack-
ed." Why aro some of tho girls so fond of
tho girls so fond of tho M. F. H. din-
ing room? Because it is such a good
study hall.
What was tho occasion for tho ab-
sence of six stalwart youths from
the one o'clock English class on last
Tuesday.
Holly; "ABhburn what on earth
aro you washing your faco tonight
for?' '
Ashburn; "So I'll havo losa to do In
the morning and can Bleep until tho
breakfast bell rings.".
tfl
V last Army;
Shoe
We have just received another shipment of this shoe
"." made of selected
Tan Lotus Calf Skin
his unquestionably the bess army shoe made. Spec-
ially priced at $6.25. AH sizes in stock now.
i
4
Are You Prepared for
the Cold Weather?
We have a nice line of fall suits overcoats and
mackinaws. Also full line winter underwear in all
weights wool or cotton. Everything a man wears.
MISFIT CLOTHING COMPANY
We Fit the Hard to Fit
Jennings Bros.
Plumbers and Electricians
"The House That Wants Your Business"
MONTGOMERY DRUG COMPANY
HEADQUARTERS FOR
Tennis Basket Ball and all Athletic Supplies. Drink at Our
Fountain Good Drinks Good Service.
Mlss'Breedlove: (The next morn-
ing after the Slngln' Skulo). Oh I
looked bo horrible last night.
Mr. Norman: Why you looked bet-
tor than I ever saw you.
Sam Malono in physics cIbbs: Prof.
Chandler what Is tho name of the
follow that lnyented perpetual motion?
Miss Brodlovo and Fish Ballow dis-
cussing social privileges for tho girls.
Miss Breedlovo: The Biblo says
keep thyself circumspectly and hid-
den from tho world.
Fish Ballow: Oh well you can
prove any thing by tho Biblo. It Bays
Brutus wont and hanged himself and
go thou and do likewise.
STAR QAZER8 ARE ENTER-
TAINED BY DR. AND MR8. 0L8EN
Morvie Eaton: Oh I am campused.
Carr: Well who does that mean?
Do you havo to stay out on tho cam-
pus all time?
A new purnoso haB been discovered
for tho dining hall of Mary-Francis.
ABk Jane Holmes Fay Clemer Vlvlau
Morris et al.
i
"Tho fair defondant will' bo acquit-
ted of courso?" "I expoct bo" ro-
plidd tho pfo8ocutlng attorney "As
Boon as sho mounted tho witness
stand and smiled at tho. jury nlno
. nf tin fnrnlvo Vinornn in fumblo With
tholr nocktioB and Blick down tholr
hair." Birmingham Ago-Horaw.
Dr. Olsen's class in astronomy seems
very interested at present In star
gazing. Two mornings thiB week tho
class and Miss Morris made early ob-
servations of tho heavens. Ono of
tho most Interesting objects observed
was tho planet Saturn which looked
like a hat turned up all around Dr.
Olson said "It looks moro like a hat
than somo of tho articles which now-
adays aro labeled 'hats.' '
After tho observations woro finished
tho class crowded into Dr. Olsen's den
to warm and there a surprise was
waiting; delicious hot chocolato was
served to tho star gazers by Mrs.
Olsen.
After heartily enjoying tho refresh-
ments' tho class adjourned at 6:30 to
go to breakfast.
"I told that woman I would mako
any sacrifice sho demanded It sho
would only como into my home."
"You mujt havo lovod her a groat
deal."
"Lover hod nothing! Wo wantod a
good cook." Baltimore American.
Bosslo had a now dimq to Invest in
lco cream floda.
' Why don't you glvo your dimo to
missions?" said tho minister who was
calling.
1 "I thought about that" eaid BeaBlo
"but I think I'll buy Ice cream soda
and let tho druggist glvo it to tho mis-
sions." Christian Herald
mnmt a a;wif w.
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The Simmons Brand (Abilene, Tex.), Vol. 2, No. 10, Ed. 1, Friday, November 23, 1917, newspaper, November 23, 1917; Abilene, Texas. (https://texashistory.unt.edu/ark:/67531/metapth96511/m1/4/: accessed May 7, 2024), University of North Texas Libraries, The Portal to Texas History, https://texashistory.unt.edu; crediting Hardin-Simmons University Library.