The Rambler (Fort Worth, Tex.), Ed. 1 Wednesday, April 3, 1996 Page: 3 of 4
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NF.WS SPORTSj FF.ATURF.S AND STI IFF
THE RUMBLEfc-REAL FUNNY, NO MONEY
In Boxers...
The biology department American symbol of death) you all. . . the walrus was
exhibited a walrus (which in that little pond thin^v. Dam...
happens to be a Native And here's another clue fur Yep! Only one!
Campus Boxers is provided as. a service to the Texas Wesleyan Community, so thank us. Announcements of
events, meetings and other general information should be brought to the Rumbler Office; located upstairs in the
Brown Lupton Campus Center < follow the smell of sweaty yet yummy journalists) or sent through campus mail,
five days prior to the desired publication. The Rumbler reserves the right to edit for length, style, taste, or a S5
milk shake. Please don't bring us long stuff though, cause that's too hard. Long. Heh heh. Hard. Heh heh heh.
Four-hour rubber-band
standoff produces rash of
pop-culture references
Editor John Lennon to Sports editor Paul McCartney: "1
know what you're thinkin\ But you gotta ask yourself
one question—'Do I feel lucky?' Well, do ya? Punk?"
McCartney replies, "1 know things about rubber bands,
John."
ersonality
rofile
Robby Dipstickle
By Belle E. Bouton
Features editor
Bobby Limpnickle could be"
described as down to earth and ~
easy-going.
"1 guess you could say I'm eas-
ily amused," said Lipmickel, a 25-
year-old senior whose major is«
undecided.
'Tm just not in any hurry,"
Limpickle said.
Shock-jock *
to take over ]
lecture series'
By Ahaitma Major
Staff writer E
Starting in the spring of 19.97,
Texas Wesleyan will present its firstc
annual Howard Stern Lecture. The
lecture was made possible by a gift
from Stern that came from proceeds
from his best selling autobiography E
Miss America.
The Stern Lectures will replace -
the annual Wilson Lectures that have „
become a tradition. The Wilson
Lectures were started in 1946 by a"
gift from the late Mavis Terry and the
. late J.M.. Wilson of Floydada. Texas.
Since then, the Wilsons have provid-c
ed an endowment which has made it -
possible to bring outstanding speak-
ers to the campus. Through the years,L
these speakers have challenged and
inspired thousands of Texas Wesleyan
students and faculty members.
But the students got bored with s
that, according to Selinda Passmore,
president of the Student Activities
Committee,
"We wanted to start doing some- ^
thing different,'" according to
Passmore "We wanted to start a tec
lure series tluit would not only edu-1
cute and enlighten students, but we
wanted to get them angry and riled
"P"
"Many people may not like Stern
very much but the guv does make
some'u-ry gvn\i points arKl observa-
tions about iHir society", says Provost
Armstrong "lam a huge fan of his—*
I listen to htm every uKHnung «* my .
Way to work "
Howard Stem tub a national 1>
syndicated radio show that can be
heard'dailv on the kval radio station
97.1 KECil. (The Eagle). Stem has
definitely earned his title as "Shock*
. lock" because of his crude cortunems
and treatment of guests on his show
Stem has also been under fire from«
the Federal Communication*
.Commission because of his constant
references to body functions .uxl sex-
uality
Stem said that lie is looking for-
ward to next spring when his lectures
will begin. Issues like racism, politics
and romantic relationships between
students and faculty members w ill be
discussed.
I
Limpneckle is,currently taking
seven credit hours, consisting of
style and structure, drawing and
beginning badminton. He said he
experiences frequent headaches and
does not want to overload himself.
To earn spending money.
Licknipplc sells aluminum cans to
recycling companies and said he is
happy to be helping the environment
at the same time.
In his spare time,
Limmerickelpel can be found in
local bars. No, he's not a big
drinker, but he loves collecting used
cocktail napkins.
'it's interesting to see how peo-
ple throw them away. Some people
fold them neatly, some wad them
up, and others never touch them, so
they're in perfect condition," said
Limpricky.
He continues, "In fact, some-
times people have written weird
things on them, or you'll find some
chick's lipstick. I've even gotten a
couple of girl's phone numbers
some other dude Obviously didn't
want."
• When he's not consumed with
cocktail napkins; Lipstickle loves to
eat and watch TV. He said his
favorite shows are Gilligan's Island,
Dukes of Hazard and A-Team.
"They just don't make 'em like
they used to! Besides, 1 learn more
from them sometimes than my stud-
ies," said Lipripple, who also said
that you couldn't beat a good ol' bag
of Cheetos for munchin'!
In order not to discriminate against (hose with lower-than-
average intelligence, we declare this here paper to be a joke
fest which is in no way to be construed as anylhing but LIES!
Football season comes
together for Rams
By Paul McCartney
Sports editor
By receiving their first ever
bowl bid, 1995 was certified a
break-through year for the Texas
Wesleyan football team.
After coming off a horrendous
0-11 season in 1994. things didn't
look much better tor the Rams this
year. That was until the hiring of
legendary head coach Tricky
Dickey,
Dickey, who has a lifetime
coaching record of 149-151. and
sandwiched two undefeated seasons
with the Minnesota State Screaming
Eagles around many seasons of los-
ing football UH'k over a Wesleyan
football program that had lost all its
boosters, all its funding, all its fans
and all its games.
But that did nothing to deter
Dickey from turning this into a pos-
itive situation Dickey was the per-
fect fit because he. like the
Wesleyan football program, has suf-
fered his share of hardships
Dickey's two undefeated seasons
with MSU in the early 1980 s did
nothing to sway the Associated
Press. his Screaming F.agles were
snubbed m the race for the national
championship having to settle for
back to back invitations to the
Uncle Ben's Rut Bowl
Dickey and the Eagles wal-
lowed in mediocrity for the next
seven seasons and he was eventual-
ly replaced by Hay den Fox, who led
MSU back to prominence in the past
few years
Down on his luck. Dickey
holed himself tip in seclusion,
developing plays that would be the
benchmark for all coaches to follow
in the future. Upon his return to
coaching, Dickey, implemented the
silver dollar defense and hit and run
offense, which battled opponents.
Many people considered
Northwestern the feel-good story of
1995, but Wesleyan's first ever bowl
appearance was enough to bring a
tear to even this reporter's eye.
Wesleyan was surprising every-
body at 4-2 but dropped two straight
games on the road, falling to 4-4.
The Rams lost to Boise State 31-7
and Colgate 16-3 and any possibili-
ty of postseason glory was rapidly
slipping away.
The Rams hit rock-bottom,
dropping their third straight to the
Fighting Irish of Notre Dame 56-12.
The pummeling left Wesleyan reel-
ing at 4-5 with tvyo games remaining
against Iow a and Nebraska State.
Dickey wouldn't let his team
die, motivating them to a 26-9
thrashing of Iowa. At 5-5, the
chance of a bow l bid was hanging in
the balance, as the Rams needed one
w in to qualify for an invitation The
problem — only one game
remained '
' The final Saturday of the regu-
lar season pitted the Rams against
the Cotmeatcrs of Nebraska St After
a slow start ami much doubt the
Rams washed away years of futility
as they beat the Corneaters 35-14
Now the only thing left to do
was wait on a phone call After years
of bowl-less football any—bowl
would do.
The call came just hours after
the game. Apparently moved * as
much as the millions watching on
public wxes«, the bowl coalition
presented Coach Dickey with an
invitation to the Kellogg Cereal
"Erasergate" from page I
Senior Provost for Student
Activities, Administrative
Computing. Parking Crisis
Management and Information
Doctoring Buff coat Anderson said,
"No comment" Friday inside the
enclosure of bushes next to the
administration building. Anderson
w as decked out in a gray trenchcoat
and a cloud of cigarette smoke
veiled his face mysteriously.
However, Chief Lackey of
Maalox to the senior provost for
student activities, administrative
computing, parking crisis manage-
ment and information doctoring
Stewart Beaver had more for The
Schrumbler. "We might explore the
eventual possibility of looking into
the option of examining the ramifi-
cations of such a (here he coughed,
but 1 think he said 'requirement'),
but there is no timetable," he said.
Math professor lma P. Tentious
said he was "ordered not to discuss
the requirement with the media."
Math student Fan Berry said
that only the president of the math
club is "allowed to talk to the
media."
When asked to comment to the
student newspaper, director of com-
munications interference and stu-
dent development suppression John
Kingpin said, "Comment to the
who?"
Kingpin went On to explain that
nobody reads The Schrumbler
because it's "a rag that often doesn't
tell the whole story." The
Schrumbler staff includes many
intelligent students who hope to use
their clips to get jobs in mass media.
After talking about the wonder-
ful projects he is working on in the
department of misinformation for
an hour, Kingpin claimed, "We can
cover anylhing up. Ain't nobody
gonna lawk to youse."
Setting the Record Strait..
In the Frebuery 14 isue of
The Rammer, we say the
school had
gotten 2.5 million bucks.
What we ment to say was
that it had gotten $2.50.
Sorry y'all.
'
Also, we sed we didnt'
suck, when in fact we doo
suck.
Bowl on Dec. 31. Dickey enthusias-
tically accepted and the Rams were
going bowling!
In a piercing twist of irony,
Coach Dickey found himself facing
MSU.
On a freezing New Year's Eye
night, Wesleyan sizzled with a dra-
matic 2-0 win over the Screaming
Eagles. With just six seconds to
play, and the score tied 0-0, MSU
quarterback Pegleg Stumpy took a
frozen snap from his own six yard
line and dropped back to throw. But
TWU's Ail-American linebacker
John Nelson came on a blitz and
sacked Stumpy in the end zone.
Dickey was carried off the field
by Rams players as he shouted, "I'm
going to Disney World, I'm going to
Disney World!"
This story contains material
claimed off the AP Wire
In his first year, Coach Tricky
Dickey has given us some memo-
rable quotes, "Dickeyisms." if you
will:
"I couldn't be happier if I was
eating fried chicken seven days a
week." -Dickey on his teams early
success
"I feel lower than a gopher
hole." -Dickey, on his teams three
game skid in November.
"The big Shepherd in the sky
was watching over his Rams today."
Dickey, following the Rams win
over Nebraska St. which clinched
the number of wins for a bowl birth.
"We're gonna be working hard-
er than a cop in a doughnut factory."
Dickey on his teams preparation for
the Cereal Bowl. •
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Wood, Allison E. The Rambler (Fort Worth, Tex.), Ed. 1 Wednesday, April 3, 1996, newspaper, April 3, 1996; (https://texashistory.unt.edu/ark:/67531/metapth287658/m1/3/: accessed April 30, 2024), University of North Texas Libraries, The Portal to Texas History, https://texashistory.unt.edu; crediting Texas Wesleyan University.