Sweetwater Reporter (Sweetwater, Tex.), Vol. 112, No. 067, Ed. 1 Tuesday, February 2, 2010 Page: 5 of 10
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Life
Sweetwater Reporter
Tuesday, February 2, 2010 ■ Page 5
2010 Star Search High School Division
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Erica Rea
Singing "With Me
Michaliah McKinney
Singing "Crazy"
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Cariee Harreli Angela Virgen
Singing "When You Believe" Singing "Back To Bed"
11 Juarez
Singing "I Want to Know What
Love Is"
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laci Shelton, Oole Rhoades, Shelby Scott, Malt Beeser and lodie May—FBC
Singing "Never Alone"
Annie5 s Mailbox ®
BY KATHY MITCHELL AND MARCY SUGAR
Dear
J Annie: My
brother is
I smart, nice and
a good person.
The problem
is, he married the worst
possible human being. The
verbal abuse started eight
years ago, and she began
hitting him within the last
three.
My sister-in-law has hit
my brother with a ham-
mer, a weight bar and any
object in arm's reach. She
has also cut him with a
knife. She calls him the
worst, most demeaning
names she can think of.
She also isolates him from
our family.
Two weeks ago, my
brother left her for a few
days and told me about
the abuse. But after she
phoned and texted repeat-
edly, he caved and went
back to her. Since then,
my sister-in-law has been
kissing up to my mother
and bashing me with nasty
gossip. We are both sick
of her and want her out of
the family. She is poison.
But we worry that if we say
anything, my brother will
to us. What
Worried
stop talking
can we do?
Sister
Dear Worried: Men
can be abused, too.
Your sister-in-law is an
abuser, andyourbroth-
er may need help to
get out of this destruc-
tive relationship. Most
state domestic violence
agencies now handle
abused men, as well as
women. Also, give your
brother the number of
the Domestic Abuse
Helpline for Men and
Women, which is
l - 8 8 8 - 7 - H E L P LIN E
(1-888-743-5754), and
urge him to call before
his wife does perma-
nent damage.
Dear Annie: M \ father
died of a heart attack two
years ago. He had always
told us, "Everything is
taken care of," and he was
someone who never left
out any detail.
When we tried to find
out about his burial plans,
we learned he had never
made any. I also discov-
ered that his brother,
who died three months
before, had done the same
thing, telling my cousins,
"Everything is arranged.
Just go to the funeral
home." After he died, his
children were asked how
they intended to pay for
the funeral. And their
father was a man who sold
life insurance!
These were two very
astute businessmen who
left their families in a great
deal of grief and shock.
Please ask your readers
to make sure their loved
ones have all their affairs
in order. Have them dis-
cuss and write down their
wishes for the funeral, and
if the arrangements have
been paid for, make sure
you have a receipt. When
you're dealing with the
death of a loved one, you
don't need an expensive
surprise on top of your
grief.
Our funeral director
told us this happens more
than anyone realizes. I
don't want anyone else to
go through what we did.
Emotionally and
Financially Drained
Dear Drained: Thank
you for taking the time
to alert our readers.
People are often reluc-
tant to discuss end-
of-life issues, but it is
important and neces-
sary to do so. In times
of grief, survivors can
become overwhelmed
and unable to make
these decisions in a
rational way. Please,
folks, write down what
you want and inform
your loved ones today.
You'll sleep better.
Dear Annie: I had to
respond to the letter from
"Ring-a-Ding," who com-
plained about her small
wedding ring diamond.
I, too, have a small dia-
mond on my wedding
ring, but my husband was
working three jobs at the
time so he could pay his
bills. He chose the ring all
by himself and surprised
me. Every day, I look at it
and feel lucky.
If she needs more bling,
she can add to her wed-
ding set. We added an
anniversary band and,
after our son was born,
a second band with his
birthstone and diamonds.
These additions symbolize
how our love has grown.
— Fargo, N.D.
Annie's Mailbox is writ-
ten by Kathy Mitchell and
Marcy Sugar, longtime
editors of the Ann Landers
column. Please e-mail
your questions to annies-
mailbox@comcast.net, or
write to: Annie's Mailbox,
c/o Creators Syndicate,
5777 W. Century Blvd.,
Ste. 700, Los Angeles, CA
90045. To find out more
about Annie's Mailbox
and read features by other
Creators Syndicate writ-
ers and cartoonists, visit
the Creators Syndicate
Web page at www.cre-
ators.com.
Relationship Colnel
Truth Serums
Loving someone doesn't mean that arguments won't
arise. It doesn't mean that resentments won't happen,
but they can be eased and they can be limited.
Words are kind of like electricity, in the fact that
once they are spoken they can't be erased. You can
say 'I'm sorry.' You can apologize until you're blue in
the face, but the words can never be taken back.
The best thing to do is cool off and then deal with
the situation. The worst thing to do is continue or try
to solve an argument when you are angry or intoxi-
cated. Anger and Alcohol tend to serve as a type of
truth serum.
When a person is angry it is possible and 'easier' to
say things that normally wouldn't be said. Anger has
a tendency to make words come off the tongue that
shouldn't be said. Typically, when a person is angry
they are saying anything so that they can have the
upper hand in the argument. The goal in an argument
is to solve it calmly and without anyone getting hurt,
but in the heat of the moment, the goal becomes hurt-
ing the other more than they hurt you.
Having negative feeling is one thing, but saying
them out loud is completely different. The best thing
to do is not say anything, until you have cooled down.
Thinking about what you are going to say is a better
filter than anger. Even if you love your partner more
than anything in the world, hateful things can be said
just because you want them to feel the pain that you
are feeling.
One wrong doesn't fix another wTong; it only makes
it twice as bad.
Being intoxicated is another time when the phone
should be put down and feelings should not be
revealed. Alcohol tends to give the consumer a care-
free way of thinking. It is meant to ease the tensions
and let loose. Even though you may be fully aware of
what is being said and done, doesn't mean that you
are thinking the way that you normally would.
When intoxicated, a person tends to feel their
emotions a little stronger than they normally would.
This is why most people usually 'drunk dial' and call
exs and reveal feelings that have long been hidden.
Drinking not only helps you be more carefree, but it
also opens up the door to secrets being revealed.
When thinking rationally, most people would prob-
ably not dial up their ex and plead for them to come
back or reveal feelings for someone that they are close
to, especially if it will affect the way they interact with
each other afterwards.
The best thing to do is always think before you
speak. Make sure that what you are going to say is
what you really want to say. It may be what you truly
feel, but is it going to help you or hurt you? Saying
something just to get even or bring pain to another
will never pay off, in the long run. Being hurt, espe-
cially by someone you love, is an indescribable pain.
Getting even feels like the only thing to do, but if you
truly love them, stop and think.
Thinking clearly will not only give you a better
chance of working out the argument, but it will also
keep you from saying things that you might possibly
regret.
As for when you are intoxicated, the best thing to do
is just don't say anythi ng. If you wouldn't say it sober,
there is no need for it to be said. Anyone can spout off
words when they are really thinking. If you are want-
ing to profess your love for someone or let someone
know you miss them, do it sober and when you have
thought rationally. Make sure that when you do, if
you do, that it has meaning.
Saying anything under the influence, good or bad,
drunk or angry, may not get you the result you
intended.
Make sure that what you say counts!
Relationship Corner is written by Amanda Moreno,
staff writer at the Sweetwater Reporter. Do you have
a relationship question for Amanda? Please e-mail
questions to editor@sweetwaterreporter.com.
Cutest Couple Contest
Do you think that you and your partner are the
"Cutest Couple"?
Then this is for you. Submit a picture of you and your partner along
with a $20 entry fee, to the Sweetwater Reporter at 112 W. Third by
noon February 9th. Winner will be announced in the
Sunday, February 14th edition of the Sweetwater Reporter.
Prizes include...
Half Dozen Roses From
The Flower Box
Gift Basket From
Sweetwater Floral
Dinner For Two (Gyro
w/fries & drink) from
235 Truck Stop
Men's Haircut, Woman's
Hi Lites From Sassy Fox
Luxe Candle From
Bee's Decor
Names:
Phone #:
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Sweetwater Reporter (Sweetwater, Tex.), Vol. 112, No. 067, Ed. 1 Tuesday, February 2, 2010, newspaper, February 2, 2010; Sweetwater, Texas. (https://texashistory.unt.edu/ark:/67531/metapth229081/m1/5/: accessed May 4, 2024), University of North Texas Libraries, The Portal to Texas History, https://texashistory.unt.edu; crediting Sweetwater/Nolan County City-County Library.