The Alto Herald (Alto, Tex.), Vol. 11, No. 14, Ed. 1 Thursday, March 9, 1911 Page: 3 of 10
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"I've twn a wicked man," ho aold, "I've
(lone a-inany crimes;
I've shot at folks by way of Jokes a half-
a-dozen times;
I've gono In broad daylight an' stole a
wldder's fattened slioat
But though I've been a man o' sin, I
never sold my vote.
"I've set lire to a tenement to see the
engines run,
I've swiped the alms from blind men's
palms an' thought that It was fun:
An* once when It was bitter cold I took a
cripple's coat;
I've scuttled ships on pleasure trips—but
never sold my vote.
"I've dynamited savings banks an'
skipped off with the cash;
Oold bricks of brass I've made to pass
with all a con man's dash;
I've been a counterfeiter too, an' made
a greasy note;
I've held up trains out on the plains—
but never sold my vote.
"I've worked the shells at county fairs,
an' pockets, too, I've picked;
I've sold fake stocks In thousand blocks—
the come-on I have tricked;
Bach victim's tears were like three
cheers whene'er I'd get his goat;
Tet though, old pard, my heart was hard,
I never sold my vote.
"I've burgled here and burgled there, an'
run a racln' book;
l'ou'll And my name Is one o' fame with
almost any crook;
But set this down"—the dying breath was
rattling In his throat-—
"Although I've been a man o' sin. I never
•old my vote."
'Rah for Reform.
Comes now another reformer who
toaiits to uplift ua by eliminating the
word "Hello" from our telephone con-
versations. Good! We heartily agree
with his deep-drawn suggestion that
the first syllable of that word Is too
BuggeRtlve of a certain form of swear-
ing. it hnd not occurred to us before;
rery few people ore In the habit of
standing on windy comers of conver-
sation and watching for embarrassing
displays of language. But we extend
to the puro-mluded reformer our
warmest accord. Also wo movo that
a certain well-known rhyme, on which
wo wero trained years ago, be revised
to read:
"Early to bed and early to rise
Makes a man hearty and wealthy and
wise."
Furthermore, let us change the
namo of the Helicon to the Rubicon,
or the Rhymlcon. And let us prohibit
the sale of hellebore In drug stores.
While we are about It, let us disin-
fect thlngH properly. Change the
name of damask, for Instance, and
take Damascus off the map. And pass
i) law forbidding people to sue for
damages, and, with one supreme mo-
tive, brethren, let us wipe the infamy
of the Uatun dam oft the Isthmus of
Panama.
Wishes of No Avail,
"This Is my husband, Mr. Orump.
We've Just beon married. Don't you
wish us happiness?'
"When I look at your husband, mad-
am, I cannot wish—I can only hope."
Imperfect Reproduction.
"It must bo very consoling to you,"
we say to the bereaved lady, "to have
that splendid phonograph record of
your late husband's voice. It Is so ab-
solutely natural too."
"Ah," she slghd, "It Is like, and yet
so unlike, poor dear Henry!"
"Unlike?"
"Tea, It tAlka right ahead In hl
tone, but it never atopi when I Inter-
rupt It"
HEAD SWAM
COULDN'T SLEEP
Mrs. Fannin, of Lizzie, Who Used to
Be Dizzy, Take* Cardui and Is
Now Able to Keep Busy.
Lizzie, Ky.—"For the last nine
years," writes WrB. Maud Fannin, of
this place, "I suffered with womanly
troubles. My head swam, and 1 had
dizzy spells. I could not alt up all
day at a time, and I could not rest at
night. I had given up all hopes of
getting well.
Until I began the Cardui treatment,
I never found any medicine that would
help me. Now, I can go al| day and
never get wearted. I can s^eep" wen,
and I feel llko a different person. I
praise your medlclno to all, for I
think it is the best on earth."
All ailing women need Cardui, as a
gentle, refreshing tonic, and benefi-
cial, curatlvo medicine, especially
adapted to their peculiar ailments.
For fifty years*; Cardui has been re-
lieving pain and distress caused by
womanly troubles, so It will surely
help vou.
It goes to the spot, reaches the trou-
ble, relieves tlio symptoms and drives
away the cauBe.
If YOU sufTer from any symptoms of
womanly trouble, take Cardui and get
well. Your druggist will recommend
It
Ask him.
Try Cardui today.
N. n.—Write «oi T.allies' Advisory
Dept., Chattanooga Medicine Co., Cllat*
iRaoogn, Tenn.. for Special Instructions,
and «M page book, "Home Treatment for
Women," sent In plain wrapper, on re-
quest.
A FASHION PUZZLE.
This la merely two ladles of fashion
endeavoring to identify each other.
HEAD SOLID MASS OF HUMOR
"I think the Cutlcura Remedies are
the best remedies for eczema I have
ever heard of. My mother had a child
who had a rash on Its head when It
was real young. Doctor called it baby
rash. He gave ua medicine, but It
did no good. In a few days the bead
was a solid mass; a running sore. It
was awful, the child cried continually.
We had to hold him and watch him
to keep him from scratching the
sore. H1b suffering was dreadful. At
last wo remembered Cutlcura Reme-
dies. We got a dollar bottle of Cutl-
cura Resolvent, a bo* of Cutlcura
Ointment, and a bar of Cutlcura Soap.
We gavo the Resolvent as dtrected,
washed the head with the Cutlcura
Boap, and applied the Cutlcura Oint-
ment. We had not used half before
the child's head was clear and freo
from eczema, and it has never come
back again. His head was healthy
and he had a beautiful head of hair.
I think the Cutlcura Ointment very
good for the hair. It makes the hair
grow and prevents falling hair."
(Signed) Mrs. Francis Lund, Plain
City, Utah, Sept. 19. 1910. Send to the
Potter Drug & Chem. Corp., Boston,
Mnss., for free Cutlcura Rook on the
treatment of Bkln and scalp troubles.
A Cauticus Answer.
"Now, Johnny," said the geography
teacher, "what Is the capital of Portu-
gal?"
"I dun'no' Miss Flanders," sold
Johnny, "but from what I hearn tell of
the extravagance of the late king they
ain't much left."—Harper's Weekly.
UDIIM CAN WKAH Mini:*
one sl/.r ttiuuller after ukIdk Allen's Foot-Kano,
the aiitlneptlc powder to Imi bhaken Into ih«
alioett. It make* tight or new nhoes feel easy.
Rttun tnhtifutrs. For Free trial package, aU-
drefc« Allen 8. Olmnled, Le Itoy, N. Y.
The test of whether you are edu-
cated Is, can you do what you ought,
when you ought, whether you want to
do It or not?—Herbert Spencer.
Fore Throat Is no trifling ailment. It
will sometimes carry infection to th's en-
tire system through the food you eat.
Hamlms WUard Oil cures Sore Throat.
Common sense in an uncommon de-
gree Is what the world calls wisdom.—
Coleridge.
FRENCH BEAN COFFEE,
1 CENT A POUND
It will grow In your own garden.
Ripening here In Wisconsin in 90
days. Splendid health coffee and cost-
ing to grow about one cent a pound.
A great rarity; a healthful drink.
Send us today IS cents lu stamps
and wo will mail you package above
coffeo seed with full directions and
our mammoth seed and plnnt cata-
log freo. Or send us 31 cents and we
add 10 packages elegant flower and
unsurpassable vegetable seeds, suffi-
cient to grow bushels of vegetables
and flowers. Or make your remittance
40 cents and we add to all of above 10
packages of wonderful farm Beed spe-
cialties and novelties. John A. Salzer
Seed Co., 182 S. 8th St., I .a Crosse, Wis.
NO 8TOP.
-J3SL-
Tfcket Collector—We don't stop
here, sir.
Montague Swank (who has just
given up a ticket)—Stop where?
Ticket Collector—At the pawnbro-
ker's.
THE YOUNG BRIDE'S
FIRST DISCOVERY
Their wedding tour hnd ended, and
they entered their new home to settle
down to what they hoped to be one long
uninterrupted blissful honeymoon.
Rut. alas! the young bride's troubles
soon negin, when she tried to reduce the
cost of liviug with cbcup big can baking
powders.
She soon discovered tliet all she got
was a lot for her money, and it was not
all baking powder, for the bulk of it was
cheap materials which had no leavening
power. Such powders will not make light,
wholesome food. And becaujo of the ab-
sence of leavening gas, it requires from
two or three times as much to raise cakes
or biscuits as it does of Calumet Baking
Powder.
Thus, eventually, the actual cost to
yon, of cheap baking powders, is more
than Calumet would be.
Cheap baking powders often leave the
bread bleached and acid, sometimes yel-
low and alkaline, and often unpalatable.
They are not always of uniform strength
and quality.
Now the bride buys Calumet—the per-
ctly wholesome b#\ing powder, moder-
ate in price, and slwaye uniform and re-
liable. Calumet keeps indefinitely, makes
cooking easy, and is certainly the most
economical after all.
A Significant 8electlon.
"That was a mighty Inconsiderate
brass band that serenaded me on elec-
tion night." remarked the defeated
member of congress.
"What was the trouble?"
"It didn't play anything but 'Home,
Sweet Home.'"
Taylor's Cherokee Remedy of Sweet Gum
and Mullen i Nftture'a ftreal remedy—
Cures Cough®, Cold*. Croup and Whoopinji
Cough end all throat and lung trouble*. At
druggist*, 2fic, 60c and $1.00 per bottle.
Scoundrel's Last Refuge.
Patriotism Is the last refuge of a
scoundrel.—Johnson.
TO CURIC A COLO IN ONE DAT
I.AIATIVB HHOMO quinine TsMeta.
Prusslxarefiinit nuttier It It falls in cars. Jfl. W.
K 3 tignaiure i« un each box. Uu.
Modesty Is to merit as shades to fig-
ures In n picture; giving it strength
and beauty.—Bruyere.
iiimiuuiim
ALCOHOL—3 PER CENT
AYegflablc Preparation for As-
similat ing the Food and Regula •
ling the Stomachs ami Bowels of
Ink w is, < hiluki n
Promotes Digestion,Cheerful-
nessandRest.Conlains neither
Opium.Morphine nor Mineral
Not NaKc otic
P'vpi'fOM prS£MV£imV/r£R
SmJt) •>
GASTORIA
For Infanta and Children.
The Kind You Have
Always Bought
Bears the
Signature
of
J*S*t J •
/kyrw/W -
a(C<H4**aU$s4+ 0
Hinm Sttd -
\Wm*rfn* A/riven
Aperfeel Remedy forConslipa-
lion, Sour Stomach,Diarrhoea
Worms .Convulsions.Feveri sh-
ncss and LOSS OF SLEEP.
T*c Simile SignaV'— ot
The Centaur Company.-1,
NEW YORK.
At 1> mouth • old
Dosti j^Cein r*
guaranteed under the Foodanj
Exact Copy of Wrapper.
In
For Over
tNI •■MYAUa •OMMNT. ■!« TfM OfTT.
For
DISTEMPER
Pink Eye, Fplzootlo
Shipping Fever
±% Catarrhal Fevav
flaracurwaod poaltWa pre^entl *•, no matUr how Lormraatany aUg* lu/or-ta*
or"«ipoa«(1." 1.1411I<1. fr 1 ▼•!! uutbt tongur , acta on tb« Blood and UUmla
Rl oaouaif«rin« from ft* tody. (*ur#a I'l*te«u>«r 1n ho?* and H)im>p and
ultry. r*rir«at aatllng 11 a took remedy. Curm I-a (irltimt ainonv human haloga
and liaflna Kldna.r remady too and II a bottlai 6 and 110 a dnun. cm thlaoni
•r. ■< — wh suiu >• . *t|«la tha
latewiptr 1n Pofft and Hh #p and C'hc l«ra la
Cure* U (irlppa amnritf human h«ilntf
K epit hbow to yourdmralat. who will f«t It fur you. Vraa IkjokTet, "l/latauipafc
Cauaaa and Ci r a." (ipacla1 Aganta wantad.
SPOHN MEDICAL CO., GOSHEN. 1ND., II. S.
THE NEW YORK VACUUM CLEANER
"The Cleaner that Cleans"
No Dustor Dirt Escapes its Powerful
Double Suction. Most Efficient and
Durable. Least Expensive.
Thcae clcanora lighten Knua wofL, im-
prove the sanitary condition and clean-
liness of tha home. Necesaary to good
housekeeping.
ft aarenta are male in a $30 to $60
actlvft _.w ..mm.....
per week ami buUding up a perma-
nent bueineea anlling theae machtnee
They aril readily when properly
preeented.
• f.
0
We want an
intelligent Agent for thia territory
NEW YORK VACUUM CLEANER CO.
Mubrida. Building. BiWw.y «nd 34th Su«>t • NEW YORK CITY
W. Jj. DOUGLAS
[5 ~
E t*
187
•2-^ *3 *3^& *4 Shoes
W. L. I)ou([lu bIiooi coat more to niaka than ordinary ftliooa,
because higher grinle leathern are afed and aolectcd with grouter
care, Thiwe are tho reasons why W. I.. Douglas shoes arc guar-
anteed to hold their shape, look and lit bettor and weur longer
thou any othor shut.s you can buy.
rr BE WARE OF SUBSTITUTE*. "P
The genuine have W. L. Douglas name and the retail
price stamped on the bottom, which guarantees full value
and protects the wearer against high prices and inferiorshoes.
REFUSE SUBSTITUTES OLAIMEO TO BE'JUST AS OOOO'
11 rear <le l.r r*nnot .■ ir>l=l 7 you with t>n tfrmilnr w. I.. Douula* ilirn-n writ,
for Mali order C*t lot<. Hn<w « snnt direct from motory to waar^i
preoald. Vr I., lluutflua, I4.' N| i«rk at., Ilr eat
rrr. all charge* BOYS' 8HOC3
on. %1 00,$2.604$3.00
Remedies are Needed
Were we periect, which we are not, medicines would
not often be needed. Uut since our systems have he-
come weakened, impaired and broken down through
indiscretions which have Qooo on from the early ages,
through countless generations, remedies art needed to
•id Nature in correcting our inherited and otherwise
acquired weaknesses. To reach the seat of stomach
weakness and consequent digestive troubles, there I*
nothing so good as Dr. Pierce's Golden Medical Discov-
ery, a glycerio compound, extraoted from native medic-
inal roots—sold for over forty years with great satisfaction to all users. For
Weak Stomach, Billousneaa, I.iver (Complaint, Pain in the Stomach after eating.
Heartburn, Bad Breath, Bclching of food, Chronic Diarrhea and other Intestiaal
Derangements, the "Discovery" is a time-proven and most efficient remedy.
The denutne ham on Its
ttai '
/wa£>%
outside wrapper the
Signature
Yon oan't afford to aocept a secret nostrum as a substitute for this non-alco-
holic, medicine op known composition, not even though tho urgeut dealer may
thereby make a little bigger profit.
Dr. Pierce's Pleasant Pellets regulate and Invigorate stomach, liver aad
bowels. Sugar-coated, tiny granules, easy to take aa candy.
[Tha confidence felt by termers and
1 gardeners In Ferry'* gceds to-day
I would have been Impossible to feel In
lany seeds two score ol years
1 t«o. We have made a _
1 science ol seed
I crowing.
always do |
exactly what you
expect of them. For sale .
everywhere. FEKBY'S Ull SIID 1
| ANNUAL Free on request.
D. M. ratftr a CO.,6 «roH, Mlotll
DEFIANCE Gold Water Starch
ntakea laundry work a Dluaoura. ltl ol ).k« ids.
DATPMTQ Kortunrioro iuad« Vn paionu*. i*n>-
■ M I t II I O t« rt /t.tir Itlt-a*. i^ur U Im-oJi lr e
W. Te Fitatforaltl J> Co.. WualilUKt« ii, 1>. CL
W. N. U., DALLAS, NO. 10-1911.
Give a girl a present, and ahe will
not worry about tho future.
PIT.FS CTBItn lire TO 14DATS,
Tour drugjriat will rf*iuo<l znooay If I'A/.O 01
MINT fall a to euro anf oana of Itohlng, B]
BOaadlnji ur rmtrudlna Pliaa Ut 0 vo U (kit "
A mind content both crown
kingdom In.—Robert Greene.
INT-
llnd.
and
ABSOLUTELY FREE
If Kraxler'a Distemper Cure falls na a euro In any esse of
Distemper, Epizootic, Influenza, Coughs, Colds and all alTei'ilona
of tha Nosa and Throat, ask for your money back. Safe for
Mares, Btalllona and Colts. No Dad after effects. Write for free
Horsa Booklet. $1.00 bottla contains three times the quantity of
the t(l cent slae. Sold by all druggists, or prepaid from
BIWKUIY MEDICAL COMPANY. Dep't A, NAPPANEE. INDj
You Look Prematurely Old
Of thaaa tutlv. >rlulv. orav halra. Ua* "UA CREOLE" HAIR ORE88INS. - PRICE. $I.OO, retail.
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Allen, E. E. The Alto Herald (Alto, Tex.), Vol. 11, No. 14, Ed. 1 Thursday, March 9, 1911, newspaper, March 9, 1911; (https://texashistory.unt.edu/ark:/67531/metapth214134/m1/3/: accessed April 30, 2024), University of North Texas Libraries, The Portal to Texas History, https://texashistory.unt.edu; crediting Stella Hill Memorial Library.