McMurry University, The War Whoop (Abilene, Tex.), Vol. 78, No. 10, Ed. 1, Wednesday, March 27, 2002 Page: 3 of 6
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Wednesday March 27 2002
The War Whoop - Page 3
Notes from
Locks picked to
by Liz Green
Word of the exist-
ence of two War Whoop
suggestion boxes located in
strategic places on campus
was news to War Whoop
faculty sponsor Dr Nick
Norwood It's probably
news to a lot of people on
campus
Dr Norwood in
search of the treasure troves
at suggestions sent this
humble reporter who was
expecting the assignment to
be worth at least a good
laugh to procure and exam-
ine the contents ol said
boxes
the two boxes
one in the cafeteria on the
wall behind the cashier and
one inside near the entrance
to the campus center were
obviously carelully thought
out and constructed by some
caring soul eager to hear the
unheeded cry of journalistic
need from the student body
They are wooden with olfi-
cial looking maroon plac-
ards on the Iront reading
"War Whoop Suggestion
Box" and are secured with
tiny cunning little padlocks
akin to the things that keep
teenage girls' diaries sate
lmm prying eyes
This reporter was
instructed that there were no
keys for these boxes so
some manner of torce
would probably be required
A lew quick thrusts with a
very large screwdriver
would have done the trick
but to avoid the appearance
of impropriety the sugges-
tion was made to enlist the
help of McMurry's intrepid
security officer Mark
Odom
Triendly Oflicer
Odom made the boxes
(which open from the bot-
tom ol all stupid things)
yield up their contents with
of all intriguing things an
actual lock pick This kept
the locks intact lor future-
use or for future War Whoop
reporters to crack open in
five more years tune and
examine as this one has
done.
The oldest artifact
in the box dates back to
1998 The troubling con-
tents speaks of an angry
confused trash conscious
student body since most
seemed to think it was a gar-
bage receptacle a sugges-
tion box for the catetena it-
sell or a postal box
The contents were
as follows (the spelling has
not been altered to stay true
The Misadventures of Me
U mrtinu h
I
ri."
r o
our suggestion boxes
reveal what McM students suggest ... sort of
to the air of the messages)
A slip of paper
suggesting ' How about a
section lor personal adds"
A copy of the War
Whoop from February 3
1999
A Homecoming
1998 Iravelodge advertise-
ment A 'Teelm'
Groovy" TV Trivia Knss-
Kross with all the answers
tilled in as badly misspelled
attempts at the names of
sexually transmitted dis-
eases A yellow post-it
note that says ' Stay open
longeron Saturday's'"
A map of the cam-
pus with some kind of tern-
tones designated on it with
peoples' names
A Progressive in-
surance ' now hiring" flier
A note trom a dis-
gruntled cale patron
"I heard that the cafe
changed management but I
thought it would improve
NOT1 It's hard to screw up
canned corn BUT It's
sliinmy The chicken (I
think) is cold in the middle
I hat is the chicken casse-
role Which was horrid
There is no flavor it's cold
and it's gross -Tuesday.
SPM. Feb 9 1999"
A drawing of an
evil looking jester with the
caption "April FOOL1 '
A movie ticket
from ' Kings of Comedy "
Phi Beta Sigma
State Fair Kickofl party til-
ers trom Sept 282001
A drawing ot a
frowning stick figure with
Mr Spock ears and what
looks like a pot leaf in his
hand (Mr Spock doing the
' live long and prosper" sa-
lute') The caption reads
War Sucks' '
Several health and
exercise fliers from the caf-
eteria Two McMurry
computer science depart-
ment fliers
A slip of paper
' What about a comic &. to
section '
A slip of paper
How about a scchun with
the phone numbers of the
easiest girls on campus "
Yeah Right
A TV Trivia Word
Search This person actu-
ally lound all the words
The bottom reads ' Drop
your completed Trivia
Game Card in the Entry Box
lor a drawing to win Back
to Breakfast pries " In the
absence ol an entry box one
Want to get ahold of us?
There's more than one way to do it:
793-3842
Box 277
warwhoopmail.mcm.edu
Or...
In our newly discovered suggestion boxes
and he 2 tall and darfc
nr$ sr art and
cViqiu ti q ot6 ian
3d ieiNflrrijiift4
cmcrto p no aoA
Ai
at2Jl?.tnd 0iwcly
Pf VcV'
"H jMsfBI rflS
assumes any box will do
A suggestion that
was actually placed in an
envelope "On behalf of the
rreshman I would like to
thank Kiva social club for
allowing us to continue the
traditional McMurry drum
beating inside their teepee
We. and the school appre-
ciate the kindness and spirit
ya'll showing during the
weekend's Homecoming
festivities Thank you once
again God Bless Missic
Carlson"
A confused indi-
vidual writes "It would be
nice to Find a McMurry War
Whoop here when I come
by so I could know what it
was " Perhaps someone
was trying to oblige this per-
son with the above-mentioned
copy of the paper
from 1999
On a full sheet of
paper ornately folded the
way only girls in middle
school tend to do ' let's add
the name Ter" The ' r" is
followed by some kind of
round symbol like the round
dot of an "i" without the
down stroke The sugges-
tion being "The War
WhoopTER'" War
Whoopster perhaps '
"Concerned Stu-
dent" writes "If you
expletive and moan
about McMurry being
against their Christian back-
ground why do you run an
astrological horoscope '
That's not very Christian to
believe in the stars and not
very Methodist to believe in
Predestination "
Halved numbered
note cards reading Mother
Baby Doctor Janitor Law-
yer Astronaut and Musi-
cian The only type-
written half-way serious
moderately well-written
note in the lot "Addressed
to McMurry War Whoop
newspaper I am a con-
cerned student whom
wishes to express their opm
ion It is in my judgment
that the although moder-
ately decorative but pain-
fully vile orange chairs in
the student center should be
replaced by a more modern
style of ornamentation Do
not misunderstand me
please these chairs arc an
irrevocable part of the his-
tory of McMurry but the
space would be better filled
with comfortable couches
which recline on the end
This is the heart of my ar-
gument as it would not be
worth the time to replace the
lit A Hex jL
repugnant but comforting
orange chairs unless it was
done so by leather reclining
chairs This is the concern
I wish to address to you.
simply to bring the subject
'to light.' even though this
document you read is nei-
ther serious in manner or
intent Thank you for the
wonderful job you do on a
daily basis and even spend-
ing your precious time on
this ridiculous paper"
' Get a new sports
writer Tim Martin cannot
write for expletie "
A Friday. Nov 2"VJ
notice to come see some
people called ' Kimball
Collins" and ' Dj key"
An invite to the
Corner Coffee House for
some "radical worship "
An invite to St
Paul Methodist Church to
hear Doc England
A card good for
tree "frat fries" (when were
they EVER called that ') at
the Sports Grille
A personally pro-
duced flier telling of the ex-
ploits of someone called flic
"Super Glue Bandit" who
apparently used to go
around campus putting su-
per glue in people's door
locks
An advertisement
for ' McMurry University's
World Famous Bus Tour'
dated July 16 1998
A Canmke cinema
ticket that looks like it's
been through the laundry
from 1999 for the movie' In
Dreams "
Joyce Zelinsky's
"Advertising Express" busi-
ness card
Three blue "child
abuse prevention" month
ribbons
A McMurry Uni-
versity sticker (looks like
the type used for name tags
at school functions) that
reads "I'm Phat'
Beefcake'"
An unopened
piece of mail
A note reading
"The food expletive
sucks'" From someone
named Jerry
A napkin Tootsie
pop wrapper twelve tooth-
picks ""i admit one raffle-
type tickets and a starburst
wrapper
The boxes were
placed back in their respec-
tive locations in the cafete-
ria and student center locks
firmly in place and are
ready for new "suggestions"
trom the student body
Letters
Dear Editor
I. the President and
Pledge-master of Eta Epsilon
Iota (HEI) with the support
of all of my brothers would
like to correct some of the
mistaken notions about our
club Recently it has been
insinuated that we are
drunkards and that we throw
many parties m OUR apart-
ment I irst. only two in-
dividuals within the club
currently drink They are
our sweetheart and myself
(both of whom I might add
are .it least twenty-one and
only drink off-campus
where it is legal) Though
Sherry and I drink we do
not condone or encourage
others to dnnk and when we
drink we do not drive
Therefore in asking how
many members of HEI
drink the answer is ONE
member and ONE sweet-
heart Two individuals do
not make a club
Secondlv Eta Lp-
silon Iota does not lease
ow n or rent an apartment or
other residence On occa-
sion there are gatherings at
an apartment belonging to
an Ex of McMurry Univer-
sity but they are not parties
These gatherings involve
usually a maximum of ten
invited guests who come to
listen to music and talk Yes
at these gatherings some
Shilling
continued from page 1
intensne 247 efforts on
the pari of all of us to pre
pan for our ne t President
Dr Ann Hay a Dit sice
presulint at A T Kearnts
hit an executixe search
firm will be tin consultant
to the Starch Comnuttii
Dr Die is a distinguished
former tolligi proftssoi
and college pit suit nt Our
plan is to i ltd tin new
prt sidint in Win to make it
possible foi lumliir to hi
lurefoi tin rail 2002 Si-
mi s ii r
Crossword
mm
M l
ACROSS
I CooWng vessel
4 SUM of being
0 Contest area
II Salad ptant
13 Type of window
IS Football poeitwn (abbr)
18 Send
IS S New England ante (abbr )
19 Top of container
21RUe(pt)
22 CM.
24 Make written changee
28 Roman emperor
20 No (Scot)
29 Dorrteebcetee
31 Snekee
33 The piece ol the aeal(L abbr)
34 Catch eight of
39 Per
30 Teke action
40 Frog
42 Owner of e landed eetate (Scot )
45 High ca d
47 Snare
48 Oak
SO In the time of (L ebbr)
32 Leak
54 Abstract concept
55 Raieed railroad
50 Lacking profeealonel skill
SSTwIce double (pret)
00 Sharp bend In fa rway
02 Deep hole
04 Teat food
05 Erbium symbol
00 Metal
DOWN
1 Bullet amal ahot
2lroquolatrtbe
3 Footbel acore (abbr )
4 Affirm
5 Fruit
ONegeuve
7 Female deer
0 Makea mietakee
0SW ata)a(abbr)
10 Lofty
12NW atata(abbr)
MAngera
17 Thought
Solution
people drink However
these gatherings are not en-
dorsed by HEI They are
merely friends who want to
hang out off campus and
most of these friends are
graduates exes non-HEI
fnends Our pledges are not
allowed in this apartment or
anywhere there is alcohol
because this year we have a
truly dry pledge season I
can speak for my pledge
class and ourcurrent pledge
class there is NO DRINK-
ING in HEI pledging
Thirdly in the past
we have had Makona mem-
bers come to these gather-
ings They are not exclu-
sively HEI They are for
friends ot the owner of this
apartment I have seen
Makona members drink at
these gathenngs I will not
name anvone and I do not
condemn moderate dnnking
of legal aged adults when it
is off-campus
Lastly. HEI is a
social club founded on total
acceptance and anti-hazing
we gladly open our arms to
every man eligible to
pledge In our constitution
we are specifically Chris-
tian however we do not
limit our membership for
any reason and happily ac-
cept all men Every male
(no matter creed race ori-
entation or class) can be-
come a brother in our club
This is a time to
refit 1 1 upon the stt u aidslup
of our itsponsibilities at
MtMurn No eonstitiitncs
is exempt from tin dun of
focusing on our ision for
the Unixirsitx in the scars
ahead limitefaculls staff
students alumni patents
and friends of AlcAf urn to
join ins colleagues on the
Board of Truste es m making
this our finest hour
-Dr Ren B Shil-
ling Jr MiMurrs lute run
President
20Smalcoln
23 Article
25 Exam
27 Gem
30 SUIn blot
32 Scram
35 Measurement In 3-fl lengths
37 Employ
38 Old
39 Forest-dwelllng cat
41 Slender pointed mrselle
43 Present for consideration
44 Need
40 Type measurement
40 Portion
SIFhende
S3 Meow
57 Encountered
SOEgyptiena
I O J1 C E N JJMJ J J
J"jB oio TM7 t
I a t A vfllACRtD
11 ' I " I" ' 'II
TAR TH iHfDCMA
OUT HM IAtIaR(
amIoutooorIti
o a I a i nkIhad
TTTTi 7i i
II I 0 I N li..JI.11
sihicaHrartir
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TTTeBT k a t 7M7 r
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McMurry University, The War Whoop (Abilene, Tex.), Vol. 78, No. 10, Ed. 1, Wednesday, March 27, 2002, newspaper, March 27, 2002; Abilene, Texas. (https://texashistory.unt.edu/ark:/67531/metapth104647/m1/3/: accessed April 27, 2024), University of North Texas Libraries, The Portal to Texas History, https://texashistory.unt.edu; crediting McMurry University Library.