The Simmons Brand (Abilene, Tex.), Vol. 3, No. 18, Ed. 1, Saturday, February 22, 1919 Page: 2 of 4
four pages : illus. ; page 23 x 12 in. Digitized from 35 mm. microfilm.View a full description of this newspaper.
Extracted Text
The following text was automatically extracted from the image on this page using optical character recognition software:
?j SwnmonjBnwd
The Weekly PubUoatic-a of Simmons
Cellege Abilene Texas.
1
Entered aa Second Class Mall Matter
at the Fofltonice Abilene Texas.
Subscription Price per Year $2.00
Member o the Texas Intercollegiate
Press Assertion.
Vfw II II l ij i M
Staff Selected From Student Body on
Merit Basis
Office: Third Floor Library Building.
Mary Cooper ........ Editor-In-Chlot
J $1 MeLaughlin . Business Banager
Mask Stpker . . Circulation Manager
Boyston Crane ' Cartc-onisc
. i
Reporters for this week: Fayo
Dooa&n Onelta Christopher Kolley
Polk Wilson Patton.
J)eparfcncnt Editors
J. D. Sandefer Jr.. -Athollcs
John McWhorter ... Nows
' Doris Daniel Exchanges
Bice Plerson Specials
Taeo Mulr ..... Senior Activities
Dana Foy Soph Activities
-TrKOtt Walten ... General Activities
Hallie Hogbland Flno Arts
Zadle MoWorter Personals
.mm ..' i. u ...u. Jii ai-i " m.'.j ;'.
8EM0R EDITION NEXT WEEK.
4
Tha EJenlor edition of this paper
which was promised last week "will not
come ;ut(uptfl npx week on account
o(thVPOBtoneinent of Senior Day It-
self. The Junior edition will follow
either week after next or very soon
after ty&U Some ol tho classes arc
planning special features for their ed-
ition.: and a grea deal of class pride
and interest Is being shown in the
whole student bofly. Don't be left out
of this! Work lor your class!
THAT MATTER -OK SENIOR DAT.
In tegard to class rushes stolen
members captured caps and gowns
eta on Class Day several things have
come to light lately. Upon investiga-
tion it has been found that tho Senior
Class several yH'rs ago were tho in-
stigators of this unwelcome custom.
They required the Freshmen to carry
their tree and the Fish not having
been out muck rebelled like any
other human beings and refused to
carry the tree. Since then it has been
.the custom far Class Day a dignified
collefa tradition to bo ruined by un
derclassmen. The faculty' action on
this matter this year Is certainly wor-
thy of consideration and solid back.
Ing. Senior Day should not henceforth
be ono of tho numbers on the pro-
gram of class rushes.
The Popes In Session.
Tho Popo Society met In 'regular
session last Friday. After a short
business session tho Cllos met with
them and rendered a very interesting
program. A peace conference was
held and each member of the society
was a representative from some na-
tion o the conference. This pro.
gram 'is to be continued at tho next
meeting. . i
JJeostlng HJs BhsIhchk
The vicar's appeal bad been a roost
eloquent one and had even penetrated
the depths of Mr. Blacklelgh's granite
organ. The latter came forward and
ottered titty pounds for the fuud.
The worthy clerie was overjoyed
"I dofit know your name sir" he
cried; ''but T thank you from the bot-
tom ef my heart. I thank you! May
yew buoinooo prosper sir."
WJt's -the matter?" whispered
the clergyman turning to tha chair-
man. "Weli" er. that .donor is.au under-
taker." PJttsburg Sun.
' " i "
;. . -i
Akr Alt It
m $ ; -
"To i4. WW."
WHEN SICK CALL BLOWS.
(The following from the Stars and
Stripes may gently remind some of
former Barracks days.)
Shorty filled his lungs with foggy
air coughed a little for he had once
been gassed mido anothor try and
lifted his buglo Sick call that most
mcdltativo and phlllpsophlcal of sum-
mons broke forth announcing that
the doctor was waiting.
Tho first squad rounded Into tho1
building.
"Whore's tho sick book?" This from
tho doctyjr ho yoro tho bars of a
first lieutenant.
"Laft It hero yesterday sir" said
the Company I rorgoant.
The doctor pawod through pome pa-
pers while hs corporal and tho Com-
pany I sergeant exchanged muffled
words
"I sent It back yesterday." annpunc-
od tho corporal. "You follqws aro al-
ways losing It."
"Hell you did" sajd tho sorgoant.
still In an undorfnno "it's around this
shack. What's tho good f l nny
way?"
"Impprtant record. Biit nobody
could dopo out tho Company I book
tho way you follows keep It."
Tho doctor located tho book. Tho
sergeant from Company I grinned nnd
tho medical department corporal light-
ed a fresh cigarette while tho sor-
goant copied tho names of his sick
nnd marked thon all under tho "In
lino of duty entry" ''Xos."
"First man!" called tho doctor
"Hornfiold JaJies It." read tho cor-
poral. "What's your trouble ?"' asked tho
doctor.
Hornfiold James R preferred to ox-
plain by actions. If you don't show
a.n army doctor ho thinks you aro
stalling. So ho dropped his preecbes
to tho floor and rolled his shirt up
under Jils arms.
"Bolls. Look at 'cm. Gotta havo
the big ono openod I think." Ho
looked up honestly into tho doctor's
countonanco and was immediately
frozen wjth embarrassment Tho doq-tor-was-In
tho habit of tipping his hat
his gazo turned oyer Hornfiold James
It's shoulder md a pollto ' smile
wreathed Mb faco
Hornfiold James It.' shirt wont
(fown and bis breeches up with the
speed of an escaped window blind in
en old naald's pntnrpom.
A buret of laughter frpm tho bunch
around him told him that there was
no lady present Ho had been hoaxed.
Thfl doctor snprted.
"Aw havo a jpart" begged Horn-
field James IJ.
Ho was furnished a chair and his
boll treated but not boforo ho had
supervised (no process by explicit di-
rections to n private flrst'Clnss of tho
medical department.
"HumeB Wllllqm!" caUod the cor.-
poraL Humes William had quite an alarm-
ing set of symptoms. It was Jiko an
almanac describing palo pains; or
pinkish "people and included colic
gall stones shell shock oyo strain the
acuto pain of appendicitis (on. tho loft
sldo) an ingrowing nail on tho groat
too a bad cold nd a deslro to ho re-
classified. "Castor Oil" ordered tho doctor and
tho waiting corporal dipped heavily in
purplish ink and wrote ''Duty" in bold
script. The party of tho alarming
symptoms took his doso manfully and
walked away with firm tread.
"Johnson Hugo! "
"Sick?" questioned the doctor.
"No sir I'm only after couple
CO's that's all."
4'Honest man" quoth tho medico.
"Give him two for his very own and
six more for any friends ho may have."
"Cau't pronounco tho next name"
said tho corpora. "I've been treating
bis itch; it's that 'French Itch."
"Lot's soo" said tho doctor "Whad
dymean 'French itch?' "
"Well I thtafc they got it bocauso
thqy can'vt poll their .laundry you
Know what I .mean several of 'em
havp it" A
Thp nnpronounceably named ono lift-
ed bis chemise of nncouth wool and
awaited Judgment scratching a medi-
tative scratch over the ithiost spot.
Numerous inspections by medicos dur-
ing his service by these men "who
never took your word for anything
left him interested bt unmqvefl.
'9tf s try five rer oent sulphur oint-
ment" suggested the doctor. ''If you
dm it stronger 70 may get a sulphur
demailtie and keep on scratching the
drmt?U.'r
Th chemise drPPP. WW tucked in.
and the unpronounceably named one
departed with a frosh can of ointment.
Several had colds. Thoro was a
Case of a burn with infection and. a
couple of hunkjes whq had figged
thing up In order to make a try for
quarters frpm the doctor. Ono of them
really got quarters
Tho doctor signed tho books and
sovoral roports his top brought over
to him He sat yawning on the edge
of a table. Tho telephone bell rang
and ho answered the call.
"Yes. . . Glad to know you'ro horo
sir. ... Vory muddy yes. Lot jpo
eond over tho ambulance Yes sir.
Inspoctionsdon't worry us as a rnlo
hut I'vo been going It alono since
Jonos Jet J. .... Yes. Right over with
thp car.'' '
Ho hung up tho recoivor and got his
feet on tho floor Orders woro un-.
nqqossary JYqp tho top was already
swooplpg (ho floor. And the corporal
was hurrying pulsldo carrying a pall
of soiled dressings while tho two other
men 1 earranged bottles and bandages
In oven array wnilo tho orderly began
to police lip around tho stove.
"Pon't oYorloo anything" said the
doctor to tho top.
"Wo'll ho ready" ropUod tho top
and ho spat pn hlq hands and took
fresh hold of tho lop-sided broom.
Slok call was t.vor. URSUS.
Intelligent Tnrk
Tho recent Turkish armlstlco led
George' Cohan to say:
"Tho Turk has well boon called un-
speakable. mot ono once. at Pent.
I have soven wives" ho told mo calm-
ly blowing porfumed clouds from hla
hooka.
'"Merciful powers I oxclafmeJ
hpw do you managp to pay thotr
"Tho unspeakable Turk waved his
hand:
" 'I married dressmakers floq of an
infidel' ho sald"-rLos ADEele Tfmoa
A Rnco Not to tjiq Swift
A fellqw said to a.faryous Brtqtor:
VJ'll racq ypu and heat ypu if yqu wjll
let mo ohopso tho courso and glvo
me a yard's start"
''Ftfty dpiiars to ono that you don't7
said tho sprinter confidently ''Namq
your course."
''Dp a la!dder''Bald'tho cbnllenBor..-
Boston Transcript.
How Could He?
"I'm torrlbly worried. I wrote Jack
in my last lottor to forget that I hod
told him I didn't moan to reconsider
my decision not to change my mind
and ho peems to have misundorstood
mo." Washington Star.
Tho War Is Not Over for narry
Jano WHIls "You look as if you
had lost your last friend."
' Marie Glllls "I'vo Just discovered
that Harry 1b false to mo. Ho wroto
mo from Franco that ho wasn't oven
looking at any othor girl and now 1
see in tho paper that ho has just been
decorated for gallantry." Chicago
Nowb.
Where Pat Was
In a small village in Ireland tho
mother of a soldier mot tho village
priest who asked her if she had bad
bad nows. "SUro I havo" sbo said.
"Pat has been killed."
"OhIcam vory sorry'said the priest
"Did you receive word from tho War
Office?"
"No" sho said "I received word
from himself."
Tho priest looked porploxed and
said "But how Is that?"
"Sure" sho said "hero is tho letter
read Jt for yourself."
Tho letter said" "Dear mother I am
now in tho Holy Land." Tho Argo-
naut Tho Rider as It Is
"In speaking of this bill bof'o;o con-
gxoss you mention a 'ridor.' What la
a rider?"
"A rider'' replied Senator Sorghum
"la usually liko tho postscript to a
woman's lottor apparently an after-
thought but in reality the mot Im-
portant part of tho letter." Wash-
ington Star
J
Unusual Sparrow
Tho native mlnlstor was telling the
missionary In chargo of his district
that a sparrow had built a nest 011
the roof of his house.
"Is there anything in the nest yet?"
asked the missionary.
"Yes'' said the Indian brotaer "the
spajjew hvPUP."w-Thei World J3ut
look. "
MIN6US-PRIQE 00
(Men's Quality Outfitters)
rps w-w--- frmwinmi
Be At Home With Us
WE TRANSACT A GENERAL
JiANiq.NG BUSINESS AND
SOLICIT YOtTR AC'COUNV
Wcarc bi qnough to accgrnodat9 joy in a)
lines but iRJ top big jo appreciate your every
need and requirements no matter how small.
Cpn.e jnrmakc yoursejf f. powr) to our employ-
ees we want you to fee) at home with us.
First St.te Beoik
Abilene
'Ml Ull I 'H III
1 Jl J (III
I
Farmers S9 Merchants
"National Bank
ABILENE -TE?CAS
Tho odest Bank in tho Abilono country will appreciate your
business Laro or.sniall acounts given the same careful
consideration.-
Officers:
Ed. S. Hughes President Henry James Vice-Pres.
W. R. Keeble Cashier
R. L. Faucott Assistant Cashier Paul Jones Assistant Cashier
Read The ABILENE AILY REPORTER
Afternoon Sunday Morning
In Abilene it's The Reporter
t rr
GREGG & HARRISON
Drugs and Sundries
Kings candies. Stop and gas with us
WE DELIGHT
In uppyling Your Wants.
Ed. S Hughes Cp.
Household Dept.
GOOD PRINTING Grime & Fryar
124 1-2 Pino Street
Prompt rarvice and careful workmanship
Phone 826
New Spring
Hats
A PEEP at tho now hat styles for
oarly Spring for buslnoss and dress
propor form thoy'ro tho first
''buds of Springtlmo!" They'll help
a man's Winter-weary appoarance
Burprlsinglyl
Soo Onr Show Windows
$8.$0 $4.00 M and up.
- irrrTr - TTyrrrrw'mwKTT - 9
Corner N. 2nd
9-nd pin trets
I II I II
r -i t -'
4)
r
1
-rr
..
Upcoming Pages
Here’s what’s next.
Search Inside
This issue can be searched. Note: Results may vary based on the legibility of text within the document.
Tools / Downloads
Get a copy of this page or view the extracted text.
Citing and Sharing
Basic information for referencing this web page. We also provide extended guidance on usage rights, references, copying or embedding.
Reference the current page of this Newspaper.
The Simmons Brand (Abilene, Tex.), Vol. 3, No. 18, Ed. 1, Saturday, February 22, 1919, newspaper, February 22, 1919; Abilene, Texas. (https://texashistory.unt.edu/ark:/67531/metapth96553/m1/2/: accessed May 7, 2024), University of North Texas Libraries, The Portal to Texas History, https://texashistory.unt.edu; crediting Hardin-Simmons University Library.