The Optimist (Abilene, Tex.), Vol. 63, No. 1, Ed. 1, Thursday, April 1, 1976 Page: 3 of 8
eight pages : illus. ; page 11 x 8 in. Digitized from 35 mm. microfilm.View a full description of this newspaper.
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HWrmut nil innmm
tiie pessimist
April 1 1976
2t-
BBBBBaBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBf?LisuseBBBBBBaBBBaBBBBBBBBiBBBBBHaBBBBBBBl
BSrSF : "aaalSl&Si&ffJHH
Wanted for first degree murdor by the Texas Highway Petrol ii
Coach Don Smith. Shown practicing hit draw. Smith reportedly
killed two Texei Tech track performers at the recent Wildcat Relay.
Veteran ACU track observers maintain Smith didn't shoot enough
Tech tracksters. Smith end his brother are also wanted for making
illegal cough drops.
Mann sick
Students' Association secre-
tary Cheryl Mann angrily told a
room full of reporters yesterday
that she is having Iter last name
legally changed.
In a hastily-called press con-
ference in SA office Ms. Mann
shook her first in the air and
declared "I'm sick and tiredof
people nuking fun of my
name."
Ms. Mann went on to explain
that she has been subjected to
such comments as "Gee Cheryl
you're just about the funniest
Name changes . .
home for retired Good Humor
men finally decided to do
something about the proposal.
They appointed a committee.
Fed up with the whole situa-
tion president Steve Allison
grew a mustache and proceded
to take the mater to the
administration. After hearing
Allison's fervant plea for a status
change Chancellor Humble
looked up at the portrait of
President John Stevens and said
-"no."
Allison then asked himself
.wnai ivcuy luu-iviiuw-iuiu
"would do
Dining Out?
' Eat In Abilene' unique dining establishment. our very own bean! They say you can't
eat atmosphere. Well we go a step further - you can't eat our food I We're spedaHst In
recycling we can even re-cycle tho re-cycled. Plusthe best green beans in townl Clip the
coupon below for additional savings.
I
This
of name
-looking 'Mann' I ever saw. Ha!
HA!" and "Cheryl I really
believe you're the best 'Mann'
for the job."
Asked by Dan Rather of CBS
News what she planned to
change her name to she replied
"'I'm surprised at you."
Her choice for a new name is
very obvious she said. In
accordance with contemporary
trends brought about by the
Women's Liberation movement
Ms. Mann will henceforth prefer
the name Cheryl Personn.
. from p. 1
conference the following day
the SA president announced that
if ACU efer offered a course in
Romanian that the student body
would boycott it.
The administration of course
would not take this lying down.
After much heated' debate
behind closed doors the admini-
stration and the SA reached a
compromise: Allison would
shave his mustache.
After more heated debate and
a committee report from Gary
Bodine that was absolute jib-
berish both parties agreed that
ACU would seek state university
Try .
Soylent Bean
entitled you to ono bowl of Green
Besns. Good only Sunday after 2: IS.
Gibbs arrested on pot charges
Assistant Dean of Students
Winnie Gibbs was arrested last
Friday by Abilene police for
possession of narcotics. Accord-
ing to police two patrolman
became suspicious when they
saw an ominous glow from the
inside of a car at Fort Phantom
Lake. Upon investigation the
patrolmen found Mrs. Gibbs
inside the car trying to force five
pounds of marajuana into the
ash tray.
"We caught her red-handed"
said officer Tom Green one of
the patrolmen who arrested Mrs.
Gibbs. "She swore up and down
that it was only oregano for a
salad she was fixin' to make. But
old Bob that's my partner he
knowed what this marajuana
stuff smelt like and he asked. me
should we book her. Well I
couldn't say no what with me
being behind on my quota this
month and all."
Bob LaVelle was the alert
officer who spotted the drug. "I
tried the stuff at a party one
night. I figured that Jack Ford
Nixon to
Former President Richard
Nixon has given his word that he
will lecture at ACU sometime
next month. His proposed sub-
ject is "Ethics in all Phases of
Lire."
It is commonly conceeded
that Nixon must have gained his
knowledge on ethics during his
recent visit to China because he
did not exhibit any knowledge
of that subject on former
opportunities.
status if the students would not
boycott any future Romanian
language courses. Spanish was
immediately dropped for next
fall's schedule but the profes-
sors were retained to teach the
new Romanian courses.
"Romanian teachers are too
expensive" said Humble "and
one language is just like another
anyway."
Last week the ACU Board of
Trustees accepted the change
proposal and almost immedi-
ately the Texas legislature
accepted ACU into the fold.
UTAC you have arrived!
I
must have a little bit on the ball
you know. Besides I figured
what innocent lady would try to
cram five pounds of oregano
into an ash tray?"
Judge Andy Hardy set bail for
Mrs. Gibbs at SI 9.95. "Mrs.
Gibbs took advantage of our 20
per cent ACU discount rate and
that plus the sale we were
running last week really drove
the price down. To tell you the
truth we didn't really expect it.
We had to send down to
Safeway for some green
stamps."
Mrs. Gibbs free on bail
would not comment and neither
would her husband. Her son
Brian a student at ACU would
describe himself only as "hold-
ing." The official ACU position
on the matter according to Dr.
John Stevens is "Thththth yaba
yaba alk-aik-aik we have every
confidence in Mrs. Gibbs and we
are sure justice will prevail
whatever the putcome. Is that
tape recorder going?"
Meanwhile Abilene police
speak on campus
It has been suggested by a
reputable shrink Dr. Youdo
Voodoo author of current best-
seller "Stick It to your
Friends" that Nixon's amazing
aquisition of knowledge on
ethics could be the result of
Eastern mental telepathy. He
said that it has been reported
that some Easterners are able to
walk through walls; therefore
on a rare occasion he could
conceive the possibility of a
thought getting through Nixon's
head.
Nixon told Students' Associa-
tion president Steve Allison that
he would lecture for about two
hours and hoped to cover the
subject. Nixon also asked if
admission would be charged.
Found your Christian moto and heed a ring? Wo
got'eml Special discount of .0007 to all ACU
Students just bring your birth certificate mother's
maiden name and blood type.
Sorry this offer good only to studonts making
above C in Family Relations
Modern Romance
Jewelry
have started a crackdown -on
drug abuse. They kicked off a
city-wide campaign this past
Monday by storming a house on
the south side and arresting two
Mexicans for unlawful possesion
of a large amount of asperin.
The marajuana takca rrom
Mrs. Gibjfts has wnce disap-
peared. "It was around here
someplace and then all of a
sudden it wasn't" said one
officer.
Many legal experts believe
that the city's case against Mrs.
Gibbs has disappeared with the
marajuana. But police chief
Bruce Martin said 'That really
doesn't phase us. We don't mind
letting a few ACU people go by
once in a while. Take that feller
last week for instance."
Martin was referring to the
small arsenal of rifles handguns
and crude explosives found in
the home of communications
professor B. E. Davis last week.
Martin refused to press charges
saying "A man's got to protect
his family you know."
Nixon' said "Let 'me make
otle thing perfectly clear 1 do
not lecture on ethics1 out of
generosity so if you will pro-
mote the lecture as having a cost
of three no make that $4 a head
to benefit a local chairty then
I'll split the take with you."
Allison however assured
Nixon where he stood on the
matter by saying "Ah what the
heck we can probably pull it
off."
Allison went on to acquire 60
per cent of the take for the
Students' Association. He said
"I'm sure that everyone is
excited about Nixon coming
here to speak I mean he did
promise. You decide what that
promise is worth."
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The Optimist (Abilene, Tex.), Vol. 63, No. 1, Ed. 1, Thursday, April 1, 1976, newspaper, April 1, 1976; Abilene, Texas. (https://texashistory.unt.edu/ark:/67531/metapth91882/m1/3/: accessed May 7, 2024), University of North Texas Libraries, The Portal to Texas History, https://texashistory.unt.edu; crediting Abilene Christian University Library.