The Optimist (Abilene, Tex.), Vol. 47, No. 16, Ed. 1, Wednesday, March 29, 1961 Page: 8 of 8
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PAGE 8
THE PESSIMIST
MARCH 29 196
IN TENT COLLAPSE
'May Be Devil'
Hints D. Morris
Tuesday morning the Abilene
Christian College Lectureship
tent collapsed "In a heap" as
one preacher said.
No one was injured physically
but spiritually there was much
harm done. A prominent display
of "Tic Tac Tosy Truth" was
knocked over spilling truth all
over the tent floor.
Asked about this tragedy
President Morris said he "thought
it was the devil at work."
One man from Boise Idaho
who was driving through and
stopped to "see the circus be-
cause he always likes a good cir-
cus" was sadly disillusioned not
by the "poor quality of the Acts
but by the condition of the tent."
He said "that a good circus al-
ways has a good tent and boy
was this a lousy tent."
This accident prompted the
board to take immediate action to
remedy the situation. "We can't
have tents collapsing on campus
it doesn't look too good." They
proposed that the new lectureship
headquarters be In the Majestic
Theater. This was heartily ap-
proved by all the members.
Asked about this decision
President Morris said he thought
it was the devil. This reporter
told him that he had said that
once but he just replied that
"Who? the devil do you think
you arc?"
Students from all over came to
help erect the tent again. They
explained that they had "nothing
else to do because all of the
classes were called off and the
library was closed."
Through poor supervision the
tent was re-erected or "resurrect-
ed" as one wit commented inside-out.
The stripes were on the
inside. After much confusion the
tent was finally erected correctly
with the stripes as they should be.
President Morris said that it
was the Devil.
Intellectual Church
(Continued from Pago 1)
Ancient Italian poetry Oriental
religions and church history.
Under the leadership of Lannis
Kircus the benevolent work will
include packages to C.A.R.E. gifts
to the Notre Dame Endowment
Fund and support of the Herald
of Truth TV series.
An ardent evangelical program
will bo undertaken by all 15 mem-
bers of the new congregation.
Their plan according to Moses
Osborn lay member is to convert
oil the kings and presidents of the
world with the hope he said
"that they will force all their sub-
jects to be added to the Mother
Church."
All members plan to sign Pur-
pose Cards pledging to earn 3.5
grade point averages.
The Intellectual Church of
Christ sees itself as somewhat de
fensive about its new practices.
Typical of each member's reaction
was the comment of James Mc-
Reynolds director of Communion:
"Now as sure as we start succeed-
ing in our endeavors like as not
some legalistic antics will find
something wrong with us."
Watch Thief
(Continued from Page 1)
Americans to live abundantly and
these ingrates shaft us!"
Speaking for the culprits Rus-
sell retorted that he and Miss
Treat had been "looking for a
suitable time-piece for Cullie
Johnson ACC "know-nothing"
leader and that placing first
things first forever we had de-
cided to get Cullie the best available."
New Commandment Wording
To Eliminate Confusion
The Abilene College Bible de-
partment announced today that
a "new wording of two or three
of the Commandments is in the
process."
The "revelation" as they term-
ed it is from a "higher source."
They would not divulge the
source.
Allegedly the wording of a few
of the commandments has caused
"confusion and misinterpretation
of the basic rules. The wording
according to the group vice-gerunds
of Deity will better help to
see the "light of Justice in terms
of mercy"
"Thou Shalt not Kill" has been
changed in the ACC Standard Re
vised and Reworded edition of the
Bible to "Killing is Forbidden
Will Not Be Tolerated Besides
so Watch Out."
They explained that they feel
killing has been a semantic prob-
lem since it began with Cain.
The Bible department for their
efforts in Biblical scholarship
have been awarded a giant gold
watch approximately three feet
in diameter which they say is to
be placed in a prominent position
on campus. One local minister
suggested the College Church of
Christ steeple. This idea was dis-
carded when knowledge was re-
ceived that the clock had a "bell
sounding alarm" which rang on
the hour.
BOTH
Pessimists &. Optimists
try
ACC Barber Shop
GUY BILL JIM
:Arwi&t&fUil
WORK OF THE DEVIL?
Another Scholarship To
Bob Armistead Ho-hum
The W. Mardell Lynch Scholar-
ship Award for outstanding fur-
therance of collegiate journalism
was awareded Corsicana Public
Relations major Bob Armistead
in a social chapel ceremony Mon-
day morning.
Making the presentation to
Armistead was L. L. (Lob Lolly)
Smythc ACC treasurer guardian
who has been doing advanced
work on "How to Squeeze Blood
Out of a Turnip."
SMYTHE COMMENDED Armi-
stead for finally seeing The Light
especially singling him out for
praise for his attempts to change
the Optimist nameplate to "The
Kollegiate Khristian Khronicle."
The W. Mardell Lynch Scholar-
ship was initiated this spring by
the father of former editor Dap-
per Dudley Lynch who retired
from his esteemed position as "the
pride of ACC" to go daub some
mud among the stars.
W. Mardell Lynch a faithful
minister of love in Hobble N.M.
said he regretted that he could
not be in Abilene to make the
award personally but he had
wired W. R. Spite chief comp-
troller of Kennedy Finance Corp.
to say:
"IF I HAD for parchment the
papyri of immensity if my pen
were the electric arc and my ink
the fluid fire that pours from
Hoover Dam my equipment
would be inadequate to tell you
what I think of Mr. Armistead's
tremendous contributions to col-
legiate journalism."
Asked to comment on Lynch's
epistle Spite said " I never
cease to wonder at the tremend-
ous contributions made by The
Optimist to the fine Christian
atmosphere at ACC."
"That's true!" ' chimed in
Smythc "It's young Christian
gentlemen like Dudley Lynch
that make the Hill what it is. He
is truly a defender of The Faith.
"As long as we have dedicated
young men like Dudley to safe-
guard our White American liber-
ties especially freedom of the
press we can rest assured that
the country is in good hands" he
continued fingering his John
Birch Society pin fondly as he
spoke.
ACC Will Be
SWCU Soon
A proposal was set before the
Board of Abilene College today to
change the name from ACC to
Southwestern Christian Univer-
sity? in Abilene in Texas.
The person suggesting this
called an "young upstart" by the
board members is a local Preach-
er Hillspain CrestcarL He em-
phasized that his change would
better fit the scriptural interpre-
tation that he had in his mind.
"If the College is going to be a
church" He said "lets make the
name scriptural."
The board members did not
like the idea. One member woke
up to interject "that I will not
vote for any kind of change. I
have been Conservative all my
life and no one will stampeded
me into forming a liberal or pro-
gressive opinion.
ONE MEMBER thought "Uni-
versity" sounded "too secular."
He felt that this name might at-
tract some secular minded per-
sons from all "walks of life."
"We will not have strange and
disconcerting ideas planted in our
institution" he stated.
Crcstcarl walked out of the
meeting after receiving this dis-
heartening comments. He said to
this reporter that "He was going
to break away from this conser-
vative faction and start a College
in Abilene in Texas in the United
States in the Eye of God" using
the Hillcrest auditorium as a lec-
ture hall. He said "that philoso-
phy and good old time homey
preaching would be the format."
Crcstcarl was awarded a gold
comb by his followers last Sun-
day. Asked about this he replied
"that he thought it was scriptural
and a very nice gift."
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The Optimist (Abilene, Tex.), Vol. 47, No. 16, Ed. 1, Wednesday, March 29, 1961, newspaper, March 29, 1961; Abilene, Texas. (https://texashistory.unt.edu/ark:/67531/metapth91778/m1/8/: accessed May 1, 2024), University of North Texas Libraries, The Portal to Texas History, https://texashistory.unt.edu; crediting Abilene Christian University Library.