The Mineola Monitor (Mineola, Tex.), Vol. 11, No. 39, Ed. 1 Saturday, June 23, 1888 Page: 3 of 8
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A Numerous Kind of Maniacs.
A student once said to a college presi-
dent: ""I can write proverbs just as
good as Solomon's." "Write a few,'
was the laconic reply. We do not
know whether this advice was acted
upon, but at auy rate the young fellow's
proverbs havo not yet becomo incor-
porated into tha deathless literature of
mankind.
Wo all remember the solf-suflloient
Texan who wrote homo that ho was "a
biger man than old Grant." But, as
slow as the work goes on, we imagine
that Grant's monument vvill be built
sooner than this advanced orthograph-
ist's who spoils big<rer with one g.
Mr. Dana o! the Now York Hun lias
coined a good word for sucli characters
—mogalomaniacs, men who labor un-
der the delusion that thoy aro groat.
Daniol Pratt. Now England's greatest
crank, believed that ho could write
better than Shakespeare, speak better
thai^Cicero or Webster and out-general
Napoleon or Grant. There havo been
grouter men than Daniel Pratt who
thought they could write a3 well as
Shakespeare. "There is an immensity
of trick in all that Shakespeare wrote,"
said Wordsworth to Charles Lamb.
"Why, I could write as well as Shakes-
peare myself, if I only had tho mind
to." "Yes," wittily replied Lamb,
"all you lack is tho mind."
Wordsworth was a megalomaniac.
It is said that lie believed tils doggerel
poem, "Peter Bell" was as good as his
imcomparabie "Ode on tho Intima-
tions of Immortality." Like many
others he was incapable of judging his
own work.
Every editor roeoivos countless con-
tributions from contributors who are
megalomaniacs, laboring under the de-
lusion that they aro groat. Their arti-
cles are without originality, negligent
of all grammatical restraints, and radi-
cally independent of tho spelling book.
Ami yet they think tliey can write;
and thousands of editors' regrets and
whole stacks of rejected manuscripts
cannot undeceive thorn.
Never a week passes but some minis-
ter meets with a megalomaniac, who
thinks lie could exeol him as a preach-
er. The severest trials of the family
physician aside from the superior
wisdom of their patients, or perhaps
tho good old aunts of their patients,
who havo some pot hereditary theory
which they believe is better than the
doctor's. The modi eel megalomaniac
is the blight of every doctor's life.
But it is perhaps dangerous for any
of us to enlargo on this subject, for
anyone of our acquaintances may
ar.se and Nathan-liko point his linger
toward us and say, "Thou art the man."
Wo aro all liable to bo megalomaniacs;
but we shall never lind it out, for no
man ever discovers it himself, and if
accused by another, ho does not be-
lieve it.— Yankee Blade.
For Our Next War.
The lato war demonstrated tho fact
that tho boys from tho city could stand
more fatigue and hardship and march-
ing than the country boys. Tho boys
from the country were stronger always,
but they were used to a regular life,
and when thoy got into the army, the
irregularity of tho life, its hardships
and exposure, weakened and finally
killed many a strong, young farmer
boy, while the boys from tho big cities,
being used to irregular hours, irregu-
lar livinsr, and unmethodical ways of
life, could stand any amount of hard-
ships without going under. This was
proved by tho war. I saw it proved id
many cases myself. Young city chaps
were tougher in every way. They
weren't so strong physically as tho
country boys, but they could stand the
irregularity of army life better.
lf'there's ever a war in this country
again, I think the greatest army will
be made up of tho railroad mon. in the
first place, they arc strong physically.
In the second place, they havo learned
obedience, and havo learned to obey all
orders witliont questioning them. This
wasn't so in the lato war, for there
men had to bo taught obedience and
their lesson was a bitter 0110 sometimes.
But, as I was saying, the railroad men
will make a grand army. They, above
all other things, are inured to a life of
irregularity. They are used to the fa-
tigue and the hardships of long hours
of work without rest. This irregulari-
ty of life, which all trainmen know is
a fact more than anything else, will
tnako them the best soldiors in the
world, but I hopo they will never be
called upon to shoulder the gun. — Gen.
fV. T. hlierman.
A Sign of Weakness.
It is said that the truly great man is
never sensitive to honest criticism.
Why should not the analogy be carried
out still furtherP Why should we not
say, the truly great nation is never
sensitive to honest criticism?
Judged by this standard, America,
with all her possibilities is not a truly
great nation. When Dickens first pub-
lished his David Copperfield, wherein
the satire against Americau ways and
customs is particularly sharp, ho had
the wholtB nation by the ears and the
storm of abuse poured upon the
eminent author from the American
press and platform had probably never
been equalled before. Yot eve'rybody
admits now that Dickens' satiro was
well-aimed. We have grown great
enough at last to see the justice of the
great novelist's strictures.
A short time before his death Mat-
thew Arnold published a paper where-
in he candidly endeavored to discuss
what bo regarded as blameworthy in
American civilization. If the paper is
read in the same candid spirit in which
it was written the reader must admit
that Mr. Arnold's strictures are in tha
main built on a foundation of truth.
But this candid criticism of Ameri-
can manners and modes of living hu
keen, in the main, received by the
American press in a sp rit of Mttor
antagonism. The author kaa keen
ronndly abused for the servee of
pointing faults tb it are apparent to ua
all. Is not this thin-skinned sensitive-
ness a confession of woaknessP Surely
the day will conio when America will
receivo tho honest criticism of intelli-
gent foreigners in the calm serenity of
jjre 'n^sa.— Yankee Wade.
To Avoid Contagion.
Modern scienco attributes most of
the contagious and infectious disease
to tho propagation in the human sys-
tem of microscopic living growths.
Tho disease may bo escaped if the
germs of disease can bo avoided.
Whether the theory is absolutely cor-
rect or not, there is no question that
by observing tho following; rules, which
wo out from an exchange, the interests
of health may bo greatly promoted :
See that all members of tho family
are successfully vaccinated. Keep away
from any house in which disease is
present, unless your services aro need-
ed, In case of epidemics, children
should be kept from school and from
all assemblies. Be sure your drinking
water is pure; well-water is always to
be suspected ; when thero is any doubt
about tho water it is always safest to
use boiled water.
One who nurses a person sick with a
contagious disease should bo regular
in eating, sleeping and in taking dailv
exercise in tho open air, and should
not becomo over-anxious respecting the
danger of contagion. Avoid taking the
breath of tho sick person.
Keep tho hands free from sores and
scratches. Avoid getting tho hands
soiled with the discharges of tho pa-
tient, and, if soilod. cleanse as soon as
possible. Do not touch tho lips to any-
thing that has been used by or about
the patient, especially cups, spoons ami
glasses. Do not wipe your face or
hands with any cloth that has boon
on or near tho sick person. Tho arti-
cles of clothing that a person has worn
just before, during, or just sffter illnoss
should not bo worn by another.
The expectorations of consumptives
should bo received in a vessel contain-
ing a disinfocting solution, or upon
rags which should bo burnod ; it should
in no case bo deposited where it can
lie reached by chickens or other domes-
tic animals, which havo been known
to become dlseasod by eating it, and
carry contagion to those eating their
Hash.
A Curious but Valuable Gift.
Tho man is still living who seventeen
years ago walked into the rooms of the
Biblo Society in Boston and electrified
tho persons whom he found there, first
by his appearance, and secondly, 'by
the communication which he had to
make. His appearance betokened
more than poverty, for his shabby
clothes were tied together with strings.
What in the world had brought sueli a
man there, was the question every one
asked himself, and tho wonder can be
better imagined than described when
tho stranger remarked that he had
property to the amount of $75,000,
which ho would like to turn over to
the socicty if ho could bo guaranteed
10 per cent, annually upon it for tho
remainder of his life, his ago then be-
ing seventy-nine. The olHcors sup-
pressed their amazement as well as
thoy could, took his name, verified his
schedule of his possessions and submit-
ted the case to tho directors. They
looked tho matter over in the light of
actuaries' tables, etc., and litially, after
much deliberation, decided that tho
risk was too great and so notified tho
would-be donor. Not long ago ho
came back and renewed his proposition
to turn tho mono.v over to the society
and said ho would bo contont with 7
per cent- annually. That proposition
was accepted, and for some yoars ho
appeared regularly at tho expiration of
tho year and drew his interest, taking
$200 in cssh, and the company's note
for the balance. After doing this for
seven years or so ho turned those notes
back to the company saying that ho
had no uso for them, lie is now, at
tho age of ninety-six, blind, deaf, and
crippled by a fall so that he cannot
walk, and the Biblo Society pays the
bills for his support.—Springfield
(Mass.) Union.
Prince Wilhelm and the Brewer.
So litllo of what is favorable is heard
about tho.crown prince of Germany,
says The Pall Malt Gazelle, that the
following little incident, published by
a Gorman contemporary, will bo read
with interest and pleasuro : Tho otlior
day tho crown prince was coming back
at the head of a regiment of soldiers
from drill in the well-known Tonipel-
liofer Field outside Berlin. At one of
the stroot corners, where a crowd had
collected to salute him, a man of gi-
gantic figure left his brewer's cart to
conio ana salute tho Crown Prince Wil-
helm. Before tho latter had conio up
to where ho seood he took off his cap
and shouted his salutation with the
rest The crown prince had no sooner
noticed the tall iigure in the leather
apron than he rode up to tho man and
shook hands with a hearty "Good
morning, Tabbert How aro yow, old
friend r" After a gracious Invitation
to the delighted brewer to "come and
,see me some time," the crown prince
rode away, accompanied by tho ring-
ing cheers of the crowd. It appears
that the brewer had served as a soldioi
in tbe imporial body guard, and as such
had been the ordnance officer of tho
Crown Prince Wilhelm.
MR. AND MRS. BOWSER.
An Indignant Official.
In Cheyenne there used, a few yoars
ago, to live a man who was known as
Judgo Bean. lie was many years a
police justice thero and eventually bo-
came thedepot policeman at that place
under tho pay of the Union Pacific rail-
road. Tho dopot a t Chevonne is u
handsome stone building of massive
architecture, and about tho place Bean
was a kingly autocr.it. lie had a lan-
guage of his own and used often tc
nmuse newspaper reporters in tho days
of his justiceship by telling them how
he "arranged" (meaning arraigned )
culprits, heard the "testimon als ' in
the case and eventually let them off on
their own *"re-cog-ni-ziince."
The last lime I saw Bean he bud just
knocked n bnilv down with his mace,
and in speaking of the affair, he saidi
"Yon know that I have been a Judge
here and have held lots of officious po-
sitions in my time, I'm entitled to re-
spect and when that chap took to call-
ing me fictitious names I knocked him
out." — Will Vis3cher, in Arnansavt
Traveler.
Mr. Bowser'* Tronble With Sbtrl*.
When Mr. Bowser was courting mo,
I, girl-like, never noticed whether his
shirt bosoms were white or black, or
whether his collars were turned down
it the ends or stood stiflly under his
«ars. I admired his nose and hair and
jyes, and was in lovo with the shape
)f his head, and that was all sufticiont.
I supposed ho wore clothos, and I sup-
posed ho had shirts and collars, but as
:o who made them, what they cost or
30w thoy sot was a mystery I never
lought to solve. Mother had her oyo
>n that young man, however. After
ooking him over two or three timos
ihe said to me:
"Sarah, if you marry him you'll
lave troublo—lots of trouble."
"Why, mother? '
"There's no why about it- He's too
particular with his shirts and collars.
If thoy don't set just so, he's as un-
iasy as a llsh out of water. I cured
four father and in tho course of ten
fears got him so that he would ride out
in Sunday with one of my stockings
'or a collar, but you can novor cure
ihis chap."
"But I can make shirts and collars,
ind you know how nicely 1 iron."
"Oh, well, we shall see. I don't like
iho end of his nose and that sneer on
lis lip, but 1 shan't oppose a marriage.
iVhen he begins to jaw and tear around,
fou just remember what I said."
I had forgotten all about it long
snougli before the wedding, but two
weeks after that event Mr. Bowser
limsolf called my attention to it. Wo
uul just got home from our wedding
:our when one morning as ho was pul-
ing on his collar lie blurted out:
"I'd like to know what in tin and
*osIn ails this infernal thing!"
"Mr. Bowsorl"
"And this confounded shirt sets as
1' it was nntdo to go over a clothos -
ioi'so! It's a wonder to mo I haven't
tilled somebody before this!"
"Do you havo trouble with your
ihirts and collars?''
"Do 1! Don't I! Thoro isn't a
Hunan hyena on tho face of tho earth
vlio knows enough to lit mo? I'vo
l'ieii a dozen places, and ovory man in
licrn is a malicious liar!"
"1—I'd like to try."
"Can you make shirts and collars?"
"Beautiful ones."
"Then you aro a treasure, indeed.
?fl get some cloth this very day."
Ho was as good as his word, and in
lie course of a couple of weeks I had
loveral fine samples on hand. I
ladn'ta doubt of boing ablo to please
urn. Mother smiled knowingly now
md then, and now and then trotted
icr foot and obsorved that "we shall
oo," but tho storm which burst found
no totally unprepared. I linished and
roned three beautiful shirts and six
iollars and placed them in tho drawer,
ilanning to give Mr. Bowser a sur-
>rise. Ho gavo me one instead. He
voko mo up one morning by snorting
iround in a great flurry, and before
uy eyes wore fairly open lie shook
iomcthing at me over tho foot-board
md exclaimed:
"That's tho kind of a housekeeper
'ou aro, is it! What's this flour-sack
ind dog-collar
Irawcr?"
"Flour-sack?
>oated.
"Certainly!
lalf an hour of
vas a shirt and
doing in my shirt-
Dog-collar?" I re-
Hero I've fooled away
my time supposing it
a collar. Mrs. Bowser,
vhen April fool day comes 1 shan't
wind a littlo joke, but this is the twon-
y-third of January."
"And that shirt doesn't fit?"
"It might lit a telegraph polo or a
ionvlct !"
"And the collar is—is !''
"Is a good fit for a pirate or some
>no else who wants choking !"
1 cried. I sobbud. I boo-hoocd. I
ust made a business of going all to
lioces. and 1 niado a grand success of
t. When ho had gone mother came
n, saw tho rnmpled shirt and collars
>n tho floor and quietly obsorved :
"I wasn't mistaken, you see. If over
i man needed cow-hiding, it's this hus-
)and of yours."
Thoro has never been a change of
inen on Mr. Bowser's part since then
hat lie hasn't gone through a set pro-
lamine. He pulls from four to six
ihirts out of a drawer, tumbles them
>ver each other several times, selects
>nc with a grab, and ho gets into it
ibout the way a man would climb out
>f a well. As soon as it is half on he
tells:
"Mrs. Bowser, where aro you ?"
"Here, dear."
"Well, what in thunder ails this old
ildrt?"
"Is anything wrong with it?"
"Wrong! Why, I'd give a million
Iollars to be locked in a room with tho
nan who made it for throe minutes !
t's—it's— !"
lie's got into it by that time, and
hen it's pull here and haul there, and
wist his neck this way and that, and
le couldn't bo mure tired if ho had
ieen sawing wood. Then conies tho
lollar. He tries at least four before ho
rets any sort of lit, and after he gets it
>n its too stiff, too limber,too long, too
ihort. too high, or too low. He's a
jeacelul man, he says, and he has been
wrought up to respoct the law, but if
le ever meets the maker of that collar
Dlood must flow in buckets. He's mad
ill the morning, and mad at breakfast,
ind mad when he goes away, and I
suppose it takes him half ttie forvmws
to get his placidity back.
After awhile I mado up three more
shirts and six more collars, brought
them homo one day as a store package,
and asked him to try them as some-
thing new,
"Say! you've hit it at last!" he saU
ucxt day when he put ono on.
"Do they fit?"
"Splendidly."
For two or three days he was at rest,
then, like a goose, I had to brag that 1
made tho articles.
"You—you did!" ho grasped.
"Of course."
"And deliberately decieved me."
"Was it deceit?"
"Mrs. Bowser, a wife who will do
that will pioson her husband! Don't
speak to me again this week!"
Ho woro 'em all out, but from that
hour ho has novor had ono to lit.—
Detroit Free Press.
To Make Their Eyes Lovely-
"Did you notico that girl's eycsP"
askod a doctor at a large gathering in
this city. Tho Journal man address-
ed had not, but a fow minutes fator,
when lie met her, ho noticed thoir un-
usual lustre. "It's belladonna," said
tho M. D., "and you can have no idea
of tho extent of its uso. it is chiefly
by young ladies who havo light eyes,
and it distends tho pupils until tho
eyes look as dark and deep as thoso of
a Spanish beauty. Ono peculiarity of.its
effect is that it causes partial blind-
ness, and I have often soon a socicty
lady at a reception, wliero tho light
was very bright, run against sonieono
or something that slio was apparently
looking directly at. Tho continued
uso of it not only afl'ects tho eyes, but
the nerves of the face, and often pro-
duces a muscular contraction that
causes tho skin to wrinkle in tho ro-
gion of tho eyes and sometimes a full-
ness under them." A druggist who
stood near by, said: "1 soli quarts of
it every year, and when I seo somo
young girl or aged spinster with lustro-
loss eyes, I immediately niako up my
mind that I havo a dovotoo of tho in-
sidiuous drug."— Boston Journal.
Vegetation for Arid States.
According to tho Portland Oregonian,
satifoin is tho grass for Nevada. Itf
will survive tho coldest winters and
grow luxuriantly without irrigation,!
and is relished by cattlo. Tho grass
goes by various names, but is best
known at sanfoin. It is claimed thatj
it thrives in New Mexico and grows*
most luxuriantly all over tho hottest;
and driest portions of Arizona. No$
that it, Is already spread over tho terri-j
tories in question, but wherever tried,;
thero and elsewhere in tho dry plains!
and stony ridges of tho entire midcon-j
tinont.it grows luxuriantly all the sum-
mer and noeds no irrigation or cultiva-
tion. If tho storios told in exchanges
of tho wonderful growth and tenacity;
of this plant aro in any dogroo correct
sanfoin will realizo all tho hopes of
stockmon and convert tho vast deserts
and plains, as well as tho rocky ranges
and burnt districts of Utah, Nevada,
New Mexico, Arizona, and tho Pacific
Northwest, into wealth producing
countries. The want of such a pasture
and forago plant is common to all these
territories, and to supply it as claimed
will add untold millions to tho wealth
and valuo of tho national domain.
What Congress Costs.
There aro just 401 membors of tho
House and of the Senato, and to wait
upon thom and to run errands and hold
open tho doors as thoy pass in and out,
and carry tlio cards of their callors and
take caro of tho thousands of bills thoy
put in thoy have employed about 400
people, who arc paid tho snug little surn
of 8081,000 for doing so. Fact. Every
member has ono employe, and for tho
service of tho same thoro is paid an av-
erage of about $1,800 each. Tho snug
little sum of $380,000 is required to pay
tho salaries of the senators, and for the
compensation of the members of tho
Ilouso $1,695,000 are to bo provided, and
this brings tho salaries of our national
law-makers to a total of over $2,000,000
per year. It costs a littlo less than $150,-
000 per session to pay tho mileage of
members, and tho country pays $50,-
000 to purchase the stationery for mem-
bers and officers of the House alono in
any one session. The treasury pays
$52,000 for reporting tho debates,
whether Congress sits for ono month or
twelvo, as tho official reporters, like
most of the clerks, are paid by tho
year, though they seldom do moro than
twelvemonths' work in tho twenty-four
months that make up the congressional
term. Right hero is whero tho political
workers come in; over $150,030 aro ap-
propriated for clerks to committees
who havo about the snuggest places in
Washington. One day's time each week
would in ail fairness suflico for the per-
formance of thoir duties, and that only
when Congress is in session. When tho
adjournment takes place tho good,
clerks go home, and on the first of
every month tho sergoant-at-arms for-
wards a check for the salary due liini,
just the same as if ho woro engaged in
tho government service every working
day in tho year. It requires $681,000
to keep up tho annual pay roll of the
officers, clerks and messengers that
stand under tho dome of tho capitol to
do the bidding of 401 working congress-
men.— Washington Cor. Sew l'ork
Graphic.
A Re flex of Patieuce.
Ono morning, several days ago,
while on a North Side (Chicago) cable
car coming toward the city, I sat near
a man who held a small boy on his lap.
I thought at tho time that I had uevor
seen a man of moro choorful counte-
nance. Ho had a fixed smile, which
soetued not to bo that set expression
which is brought to sucli a high cstato
of cultivation by the hypocrite, but tho
placid reflex of a kind and patient dis-
position. Tho boy's hair rem inded mo
of a hearth brush, set one way, aud
dyed with Venetian red. His eyes
stuck out liko tho optics of a frog, aud
his noso—though I did not know why
until shortly afterward—carried tho
suggestion of tho interrogation point.
But, despite all this, ho was handsome,
and his lips scomod to hold many a
ving kiss.
"Papa."
"What, precious."
"What makes tho car go when thoro
isn't no horsos liitchod to it?"
"Tho cable, my son."
"What cable?"
"Tho cablo down under tho track."
"What is a cable?"
"Oh, it's a great wire that runs
along."
"How runs along?" *
"Why, a mighty stoam engine turns
an immense wheel and tho cablo runs
over tho wheel. Tho cars have grips
that take hold of tho cable and run
*long with it."
"How big is tho wheel?"
"Very largo."
"Could 1 roach to tho top of it if I
stood on a chair?"
"Oh, no."
"Is it as high as the sky?"
"Of course not."
"How high is it thou?"
"Oh, it's as high—"
"As ft house," the boy suggested
"Yes, a small one."
"That ono over thoro?" (pointing to
a six-story building.)
"No, not that high."
"As that one?'' (pointing to a squat-
ty coal office.)
"Higher than that."
"How high, then?"
"Oh, I don't know, Henry. I have
not measured it."
"Why didn't you?"
The placid l'oilox of a patient dispo-
sition began to fade.
"Why didn't you moasuro it?"
• Because I didn't want to."
"Why didn't you want to?"
"You must hush now, son. Papa
wants to think."
"What aboutP"
1'Business."
"What's business?"
"Oh, it's trado."
"Swappin' things?"
"Yes."
"How swappin' 'cm?"
"Henry, if you don't hush you shan't
go down town with mo again."
The boy remained silent for a fow
moments. Ho twisted himself around,
reminding mo of a cub bear, and be-
gan to fumble witli his father's neck-
tie. Then he took out his father's
handkerchief and dropped it on tho
floor.
"A horse couldn't pull a car this fast,
could ho?"
"I think not" .
"But tho old bad man could, oouldn't
ho?"
"1 suppose so."
"What's suppose?''
"To think."
"To think about buslnoss?"
"Why do you ask such foolish ques-
tions, IlonryP You've got more sonso
than to talk this way? '
"How must I talk?"
"If you woro not to talk at all it
would suit me just at present."
"Suit of clothes?"
"Hush, now."
The rollex of paticnco was growing
dim.
"Look ! whoro aro wo goin'P"
"In tho tunnel."
"What is it?"
"A passago way under the rivor."
"Won't tho water fall on us?"
"No."
"Why?"
"Beeanso it can't that's why."
"Is the river over our head nowP"
"Yes."
"Why can't 1 seo it?"
"Because thoro arc bricks and stonos
in tho way."
"Why did they put 'em in tho
way."
"Now, look hero (taking tho boy off
his lap and placing him on a seat), if
you don't hush I will punish you when
wo get to tho storo. Ono thing is cer-
tain. You shall never come down
town with mo again."
A lino of irritation had marked out
the reflex of pationco.
"Why?" tho boy askod.
"Because you ask so many annoying
questions."
"And I never shall come down town
with you again?"
"Never. Come wo got off hero."
• • • • •
Late that afternoon as I walked
along a busy street, I saw a groat
crowd gathered at a corner. As I was
shoviug my way through I heard somo
one say: "A cab ran over him." A
man had sunk down on his knees.
Tho reflex of pationce was gone, and
an expression of despair had settled
on his fac& In his arms he held a
dead ohild. Ho will never take tbe
littlo follow down town with him
agnin. — Opie P. Head, in Arkansaw
Traveler.
Ah Others See Us.
This," said tbe returned missionary
to tho Poor Heathen whom ho had
brought over, "is a church."
"And tho Poor Heathen greatly
admired tho church. By aud by ho
asked:
"Who is tho fat man with tbo big
watch seal, who looks at the church as
though he thought some of putting on
a $50 bay window and raising tho rent
$500 a year?"
"That is a trustee, said the returned
missionary.
"IIo does most of the praying, I
suppose?" said the poor Heathen, who^
in his blindness, Knows very littlo
about the way we do these things.
"No," said the returned missionary,
"he doesn't believo in praying; he In •
Bob Ingersoll man and believes thai
nobody doesn't kuow nothing nnd thai
thoy know that no knows that thoy
kuow he knows they don't. Ho is not
a member of the church, but ho ia •
good, clour-hoadod business man, goo*
manager, strong on real estate dealt
and so ho's a trustee. Doesn't taka
very much of a Christian to be •
trusteo, except in tho country. In
town a church only wants a good bust
.noss man for trustee."
"Aud who is tho man who stands in
tho door and glares at tho people aa
they pass iu and tries to koep thom
out?' nskod tho Poor Heathen.
"That is the sexton," ropliod tho
missionary.
"He doesn't believe in opening the
church for roligious service at all. Ha
says tho church was built to havo swell
weddings ill, and that for preaching
and prayer meetings and other side-
shows of that naturo the trustee!
should liiro a hall."
"Who is tho very young mnn who
puslios people out of tho way that ha
may havo room to pass in, and stoopi
very low as ho enters tbo twouty-fool
door, and sits directly under tho steo
pie, lest ho should strike his head when
ho stands up?''
"Tluit," said tho returned mission-
ary, "is tho now Superintendent of tha
Sunday school. Thoy are all that way
at first. By and by, when ho has for<
gotten every lino of his beautiful
speech when thero aro distinguished
strangers present, when ho has start-
ed tho wrong tune to an entirely
strange hymn and corrected himself
by striking tho right tune on a koy so
high that tha chimes of Normandy
couldn't ring socond bass to it; when
ho was flunked, fair, square and up-
right, ou tho first ten questions in Ins
question box, ho will know less by a
ton than ho does now, and bo a good,
useful, earnest and humblo Superin-
tendent. Ho's only young and new,
liko an August porsimiuou."
"Here comes tho ownor of tha
church," the Poor Heathen said. "Ha
looks as though ho dooided to niako
peminlcan of tho sexton and truseoa,
aud not hold any service to-day."
"No, that is not exactly th'o ownei
of tho church," tho returned mis.
s ion sir v said; "that is tho loader of tha
choir."
"Who is that meek, timid littlo man
who is trying to croep in without lot-
ting tho soxton seo him, and who hat
just takou off his hat to the loador ol
the oholr."
"Oh, that is only tho pastor of tho
church," tho returned missionary ro
plied. "Will you go insidoP"
And tho poor Heathen said he wouli^
bocauso he rather guessed from thell
looks, tho sexton aud tho loador of tha
choir had mado up thoir minds to sottlf
that morning which of the two should
take tho church and run it.—Hurt
dcttc, in, the Chicago Journal.
Human Sacrifice in India. >
A recent occurrence in Rajpootann
shows tho hold that ancient suporstW
tions still havo among tho nativea.
Some years ago the native states oi
Oodeyporo and Tonk, with a view aI
simplifying their boundaries, oxchnng
ed certain villages near Noemuch. Ia
this process a villugo inhabited entire
ly by Brahmins passed from Oodeyporo
to tho nawab of Tonk. This vlllaM
had boon granted in porpotnity to tha
Brahmins by a former maharana a|
Oodeyporo, subject only to the nomt
mil feoof twolve rupees for proteotlon.
Aftor tho exchange tho Tonic authori-
ties imposed a revenue assessment
which was raised from time to timo
till it reached 600 rupees annually.
Successive deputations of tho villagers
proceeded to l'ouk tola/ the caso be-
fore tbo durbar, but without effect.
Thereupon tho Brahmins assembled
and decitloil by tho voices of all pro*
sont, women as well as men, thai
nothing was'loft to move the dnrbot
except the human sacriiiue knowu uw
"Johur." Four womeu presented,'
themselves as victims, but at the last
moment two boenmo frightened and
withdrew. No opposition being of-
fered, tlio oilier two went bravely nnd
willingly to moot death, aud were
burned alive in the presence of the as-
sembled community, thoir charred
hands being afterwards carried by tb«
villagers to Oodeyporo with a demand
for rodrcss. This occurred a fen
weeks ago, and at midday, no attempt
at concealment being made. — Allaluu
bad Pioneer.
George West's Start
Congressman Goorgo West, tho p
par manufacturer of Ballston, met at
tho Fifth Avonuo Hotel recently tbo
man whom ho nsslsted to erect a papor
factory nearly forty yoars ago. When
Mr. West camo to the United State*
more than forty years ago, he worked
for $7 a weok, and said he and hla wifo
saved money. Then ho assisted to pal
up now macbinory for a paper factory
that had boen making paper in a orndat
oldfasbionod way. He drifted to Ballf-
ton and soon owned a big factory o|
his own. After ho had chatted ploaa
antly with tbo old manufacturer tb«
latter desired to have tbe young maa
who eroded his machinery so man
years ago go into partnership wlta
him. "Tbo whirligig of time bring*
strange coincidences," said the genial'
Congressman, "but who would havf
dreamed that nfter these years W«
should meet nnd ho should romemboi
tho work I did for himP It was quite
a compliment to bo offered a partner
ship."—New York Press.
Women in Hanks.
"Speaking about tho opening of dif-
feront employments to womon," ob-
served tho Snako Editor, "somo o)
them aro eminently lilted for a certain
bank position."
"What position is that?" asked tba
the Horse Editor.
"Talkativo womon could be mad I
tellers." —1'itt.sburr/ Chronicle.
Why 19 It?
Can anybody explain why a bottlo et
catsup, when it explodes on tho tnbl*
will sprinkle everything in the roon
except the meatP—Chicago Tribune,
";4'
9
$
A
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The Mineola Monitor (Mineola, Tex.), Vol. 11, No. 39, Ed. 1 Saturday, June 23, 1888, newspaper, June 23, 1888; Mineola, Texas. (https://texashistory.unt.edu/ark:/67531/metapth254239/m1/3/: accessed May 8, 2024), University of North Texas Libraries, The Portal to Texas History, https://texashistory.unt.edu; crediting Mineola Memorial Library.