Dallas Voice (Dallas, Tex.), Vol. 27, No. 50, Ed. 1 Friday, April 29, 2011 Page: 17 of 48
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FAMILY TIES | Gregg Spradlin came to Dallas to
help his daughter, Jarny Spradlin, recover from her
gender reassignment surgery. (David Taffet/Dallas
Voice)
■ From Previous Page
"Then I told her I was transgender and I never,
heard from her again," Compton said.
But Compton thinks it's important to be honest
with employers so that everything from insurance
to social security is filed correctly.
Dating arid relationships
Dating and relationships present even more
coming out challenges.
Compton said that while coming out is a per-
sonal choice, "I always tell the other person right
off the bat."
She said she has heard stories of people going
out. Then the relationship begins to get physical
and the other person finds out in the bedroom.
"That can be very dangerous," Compton said.
"I know of a person who kept it from a spouse for
years — it was a very nasty situation."
Spradlin's advice is to be careful about where
to come out. She said that many people meet in
bars and come out where people are drinking.
That might not be the best setting.
"Do it in a safe place," §he said. "A public set-
ting but not when you're in a position where you
can be attacked."
Compton asks herself if she feels safe and com-
fortable with the other person.
"That's going to have a bearing on my choice;"
she said.
But if she's dating someone, she said she has to
reveal her past. The other person will quickly re-
alize something is missing when your past is left
as a blank slate.
They'll ask, "Why don't you have graduation
pictures? Childhood pictures?" Compton said. "If
it's nothing to be ashamed of, we have nothing to
hide*
Her best advice is to use common sense.
"There are men out there who are attracted to
women who are pre-op," Compton said. "So it's:
case by case."
But she described situations when she was in a
club and could have gone home with somebody
but didn't.
"I was glad I didn't," she said. "Trust your in-
stincts. Sometimes we overlook the warning
signs."
She said she doesn't date someone — or go
home with anyone — she's not comfortable
telling about her gender identity.
"If it's someone who cares about you, your gen-
der identity won't matter," Compton said.
Her experience with coming out to others is
that it doesn't faze some. She's found others at-
tracted to her more.
"Some admire what we have: to go through;"
she said.
The best therapy
Blair High, as CEO of a Piano-based corpora-
tion, was a bond trader responsible for billion dol-
lar portfolios who had played football in school.
Today, High volunteers on the help line at Re-
source Center Dallas on Wednesday nights, giv-
ing information on transgender issues.
"The best therapy for anyone is to be yourself,"
she said.
High said that sometimes coming out can be as
bad as suppressing. "Some people call [who are]
thinking of killing themselves," she said. "They
can't stand it anymore:."
High recommends they come to a meeting and
meet other trans people. She said sometimes they
will come and just cry for the first 30 minutes
they're there.
Often, the calls High takes are from men who
are married with children. She tells them to come
out to their wives. She said that they should tell
the spouse that they're having these feelings and
would like to go to some therapy.
High, who has been married for 18 years, said
that's what she did with her wife.
"It was not an easy thing," she said. "OHMtfU an
issue."
High said when she told her wife that she was
having these feelings and wanted to go to therapy
her Wife thought that was great.
"As time went by and things were the same, it
wasn't so great," she said.
But they remain together.
"We loVe each other," she said. "We care about
each other."
Trans woman Pam Curry said she "gave up
trying to hide years ago."
She said she got advice from John Thomas, the
first executive director of the Gay and Lesbian
Community Center, who told her to "Be true to
your cause,"
Curry said she stopped worrying about it and
stopped trying to be perfect.
Because she's so open about her gender iden-
tity, Compton said she gets lots of questions. She
said she'll answer most but is surprised when
she's asked graphic sexual questions, especially
by someone she's just met.
Those are people she puts at arms length, she
said.
"But I'm proud to be a transsexual," Compton
said. "I'll never hide from it." ■
V/
Friends of
Wednesday's Child
Bringing Hope and Healing to North Texas Foster Children
modern
Family FEST
Sunday, May 15, 2011, Noon to 6 p.m.
Methodist Hospital - Folsom Fitness Center Park,
262 West Greenbriar, Dallas
a family/pet friendly outdoor festival that will include
live entertainment, vendors, food,
kid's activities, games, family portraits and much more.
$10 for adults, $5 for children. $60 Family Package
includes two adult and two children's tickets,
gift bag with event picnic blanket
and $20 worth of food/beverage coupons.
More info at www.wedchild.org
^CleorCHomwl ADVOC TE
OUTDOOR ■■■>■■■
" W1
ifoll $19SM Si 3® V.
dallasvoice (,|ooparSm"h ©Methodist
I
VOLVO am
xerox
y\Uproceedsfor this family/petfriendly outdoorfestival Ml benefit Friends nf Wednesday's Cl'ild,
which brings hope and healing to North Texas foster children.
04.29.11
dallasvoice 17
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Nash, Tammye. Dallas Voice (Dallas, Tex.), Vol. 27, No. 50, Ed. 1 Friday, April 29, 2011, newspaper, April 29, 2011; Dallas, Texas. (https://texashistory.unt.edu/ark:/67531/metapth239165/m1/17/: accessed May 30, 2024), University of North Texas Libraries, The Portal to Texas History, https://texashistory.unt.edu; crediting UNT Libraries Special Collections.