The Canadian Record (Canadian, Tex.), Vol. 114, No. 9, Ed. 1 Thursday, February 26, 2004 Page: 2 of 36
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2
THURSDAY 26 FEBRUARY 2004
THE CANADIAN RECORD
OPMIOL
RECORD
INCDRPDRATED FEBRUARY 1998
ben III
Editor & Publisher 1948-1993
N1NCT EHELL Publisher
LAURIE EZZELL BROWN Editor
elRor@caiafiaireGoiH.Goii
BONNIE EARRAR
Advertising Manager
advertisiig@canadiaorecorii.coin
GSUif RIGIETTS News & Eeatires
news@canadianrecord.CQm
JENNY KLEIN News
news@canadianrecord.CQm
MARY SMITHEE Office Manager
circnlation@canadianreGord.GQm
niiiing@Ganadianrecord.GQm
DESIGN & PRODUCTION
Laurie Ezzeli Brown, Him Islniif
PHOTOGRAPHY
Laurie Ezzeil Brown, Gathy Ricketts
Jenny Klein
USPS 0B7-9B0
PO Idk 898, Canadian, th 79014
Fai: {806)323-5731
e-mail:
03iiiiaRgril@GiailiaRsrtl.Gsa
Periodicals postage paid at the Past Office is
Casadias (liciphill County), Mas. Psi •
weekly in Ganadias, teas by Nancy M. Imii
'OSTMftSTil: Send address dasps to The
Casadias ieard, PO K 091, Casadias, IK
79014-0898
SOBSGRIPTION RATES:
S25/Year io Hemphill Gaunt)
330/Year in adjoining counties
S35/Year elsewhere
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comment on oowopmt
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ASSOCIATION
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Win NOTES
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Dietary Genesis
In the beginning God covered the earth with broccoli
and cauliflower and spinach, green and yellow and red veg-
etables of all kinds, so Man and Woman would live long and
healthy lives.
Then using God's bountiful gifts, Satan created ice
cream and doughnuts. And Satan said, "You want hot fudge
with that?" And Man said "Yes!" and Woman said, "I'll have
another with sprinkles." And lo they gained 10 pounds.
So God said, "Try my fresh green salad."
And Satan presented crumbled Bleu Cheese dressing
and garlic toast on the side. And Man and Woman unfas-
tened their belts following the repast.
God then said, "I have sent you heart healthy vegetable
and olive oil in which to lightly saute the wholesome
vegetables."
And Satan brought forth deep fried coconut shrimp,
chicken-fried steak so big it needed its own platter and
chocolate cheesecake for dessert. And Man's glucose levels
spiked through the roof.
God then brought forth running shoes so that his
Children might lose those extra pounds.
And Satan came forth with a cable TV with remote con-
trol so Man would not have to toil changing the channels.
And man and woman laughed and cried before the flicker-
ing light and started wearing stretch jogging suits.
Then God brought forth lean meat so that Man might
consume fewer calories and still satisfy his appetite.
And Satan created the 99-cent double cheeseburger,
and said, "You want fries with that?" And Man replied,
"Yes! And super size 'em!" And Man went into cardiac
arrest.
God sighed and created quadruple bypass surgery
Team basketball photo on front page by Jim Baker.
M
EN STUMBLE OVER the truth, but most pick
themselves up as if nothing had happened.
sir winston churchill
"Ie:.es Oqjmaec: of iigrienhnK
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Brown, Laurie Ezzell. The Canadian Record (Canadian, Tex.), Vol. 114, No. 9, Ed. 1 Thursday, February 26, 2004, newspaper, February 26, 2004; Canadian, Texas. (https://texashistory.unt.edu/ark:/67531/metapth220618/m1/2/: accessed May 9, 2024), University of North Texas Libraries, The Portal to Texas History, https://texashistory.unt.edu; crediting Hemphill County Library.