The University News (Irving, Tex.), Vol. 32, No. 20, Ed. 1 Thursday, April 1, 2004 Page: 2 of 4
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April 1, 2004 The University Schmooze
News
News
Enlightened Despot
Meghan Kuckelman
Heir Apparent
Jodi Dickens
Snoop with the Scoop
Rebecca Leland
The Apprentice
Lincy George
Voice of Reason
Margaret Forget
Jazzercise Instructor/
Ring Master
Maryclaire Becan
Joe Kline
Robert Hartle
Paparazzi Coordinator
Eric Martinez
Quality Control Officer
Anton Hartmann
Pop Sensation
Margaret Ballard
Errand Boy
Debbie Sterbin
The Odd Couple
Dr. Joe Norton
Dr. Frank Swietek
The University Schmooze
is the yearly student
newspaper of the
University of Dallas, 1845
E. Northgate Dr., #732,
Irving, TX, 75062.
Subscriptions are $20 a
semester or $35 a year.
Cah 972-721-5056 for
information.
The University Schmooze
is also available online at
www.udallas.edu/unews.
Issues from the past two
years are archived on the
website.
To indoctrinate members
of the UD community in
The University Schmooze,
please call (972) 721-4023
or fax query to
(972) 721-4136.
Indoctrinations must be
submitted by Thursday at
5 p.m. for publication the
following Wednesday.
Website says l ower Village
best place to live in Metroplex
by Candi Jones
Bachelorette Wannabe
Apart me ntFi nder. com
recently identified Tower Village
apartments as the best place to
live in the D/FW Metroplex.
"Tower Village, or Old Mill as
it is affectionately known to UD
students, offers many amenities
residents cannot find anywhere
else in Dallas," Imagene Thatte,
senior reviewer for
ApartmentFinder.com, said.
Among the most desirable
qualities is Old Mill's proximity
to the University of Dallas.
"It's great that a private,
Catholic university of UD's
caliber is so close," Thatte said.
"And since living in Tower
Village is so cheap, residents can
afford the outrageous tuition."
Though Old Mill is populated
by many upperclassmen from the
university, the apartment
complex caters to people from all
.'yV-
all photos by Anne Geddes/Professional
Above: The replica of UD's tower welcomes residents to
Tower Village apartments. Below: A view of the award-
winning apartment complex.
walks of life. Thus, living there
is an ecumenical, multi-cultural
experience, Thatte said.
"I'm not surprised they chose
Old Mill as number one," senior
Jesse Deacon said. "Living here
has provided me with many good
habits, such as locking myself
into my apartment each night."
Besides noting Old Mill's safe
atmosphere, Thatte also
commented on the great
neighbors one finds there.
"These people are more than
just neighbors, they're friends,"
she gushed.
Senior Alex Laehn agreed,
"I'm really close to my
neighbors. Not only do I know
when they're having a wicked
cool party, but I can even smell
what they have for dinner each
night!"
Perhaps the greatest benefit to
living in Old Mill is the family
atmosphere created by the
numerous young families living
there.
"We loved all the kids we saw
around there," Thatte said. "You
can't drive your car without
hitting one."
Too much studying can lead
to sore, even blistered feet, ac-
cording to a recent news release
from the Liberal Arts Podiatrists
Association (LAPA). This phe-
nomenon results, the statement
said, when students take too se-
riously their self commands to
"get off your big fat arse and
study."
Sophomore David Rathbun
recently found himself a victim
to this potentially crippling dis-
ease.
"I woke up one morning,
looked at myself in the mirror,
and said 'Dude, you need to get
off your big fat arse and study,"
a scarred Rathbun said. "Hie
next thing I knew, my feet were
absolutely killing me."
Rathbun said that after receiv-
ing this command, he took his
books, got off his big fat arse,
and spent the rest of the day
standing on the Mall reading
Moby Dick. He apparently made
the wrong choice for study ma-
terials, as most UD students have
termed Moby Dick a "freakishly
long book." Rathbun said he
stood on the Mall for no less than
nine hours.
UD P
Find
ijoup soulma
te and
ersona
more. Call x5089 t.
Ad
O pi
ace a
nd
answer ads.
SWM seeking skirt-wearing SWF for
immediate marriage and lots of kids.
Skirt must not be more than three
inches above ankle. Rosary and Lit-
urgy of the Hours knowledge a must
Lone Liberal on campus seeking
someone, anyone, with like mind, to
discuss something, anything.
Small, Catholic university seeking rich,
conservative president to retain Core
Curriculum and remove debt. Inquir-
ies from anonymous donors welcome.
Desperate senior English major seeking
ride to SMU in order to complete thesis
research. Will compensate with gas,
money, or food. Can be called upon to
recite poetry along the way.
Jazzercise instructor seeking date to
Spring Formal. Will give dance lessons
to Pat Benatar's Hit Me with your Best
Shot beforehand.
Former member of Class of 2006 seek-
ing to sell back all Core texts. Un-
marked! Like New! Call now.
B
\Lws
*iefs
Test proves: studying causes sore feet
Smokers sent
to Seminary Hill
Student Life has decided
to remove all campus
designated smoking areas
to Seminary Hill, an
administrator said.
Effective Aug. 1,2004, the
policy would include fines
for students caught
smoking outside specified
areas and ashtrays built into
the trees on the hill.
In support of the new
policy, Raj Luthra, owner
of PDK Foods, has decided
to open up a small kiosk on
the hill to make it easier for
smokers to purchase
cigarettes.
"I am just thrilled with
the new policy," a member
of STAND said. "Finally
those smokers have been
put in their place.
Hopefully this action will
prompt them to save their
souls and stop sucking that
evil nicotine into their
lungs."
by the Midnight Toker
Poisonous water
infiltrates UD
Students must refrain
from using water fountains
and restrooms from today
until Sunday. The under-
ground pipes supplying
water to the university have
been contaminated, the
Office of Student Life an-
nounced this morning.
An accident at National
Chemical Headquarters
(NCH) across the street
caused 10 grams of
Trichloroethylene to leak
into the water system.
Trichloroethylene is known
to cause sudden aversion to
classical thought. NCH of-
ficials tried to contact the
university earlier but the
main offices open at 8 a.m.
Trichloroethylene dis-
solves in water very slowly,
giving officials an hour to
warn students before the
contaminated water
reached the university.
The Student Life office
warned students not to al-
low the clear color of the
water to deceive them as
tricholoethylene is a color-
less chemical.
Students are also
strongly encouraged to
visit Dr. Laurie Dekat's of-
fice in upstairs Haggar if
they feel like they are be-
ginning to loathe Plato.
by the Parched Reporter
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Kuckelman, Meghan. The University News (Irving, Tex.), Vol. 32, No. 20, Ed. 1 Thursday, April 1, 2004, newspaper, April 1, 2004; Irving, Texas. (https://texashistory.unt.edu/ark:/67531/metapth201381/m1/2/: accessed May 7, 2024), University of North Texas Libraries, The Portal to Texas History, https://texashistory.unt.edu; crediting University of Dallas.