San Antonio Sunday Light (San Antonio, Tex.), Vol. 46, No. 69, Ed. 1 Sunday, March 28, 1926 Page: 71 of 92
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Leun y Unioriuiiaie CouMip
Mr. Koppelman Thought He Could Win His Wife
Back with a Second Honeymoon
Bigger and Better Than the
. First One AND—Lost
Her Forever
Mrs. Leon Koppelman and the
Baby.
• ■ .
EVERY husband has been told that
if he would only treat his little
wife the way he did on their honey-
moon there wouldn’t be a bit of trouble.
Most husbands have an idea that this is
probably true but the exactions of ex-
emplary conduct and thoughtful consid-
eration during the courting period are
considerable not to mention the expense.
And after all nobody runs for a street
car after he has caught it as the well-
known expression goes — and therefore
the busy husband often does not find it
convenient to keep on courting his wife
after he has won her.
But Mr. Leon Koppelman of Brooklyn
who had courted his wife Sylvia and had
won her was having trouble—indeed she
had left him. Leon was fond of Sylvia
and didn’t exactly want to lose her. So
therefore he decided to put the theory to
a test and court his wife all over again.
Mr. Koppelman started out to square
and fix everything by wooing Mrs. Kop-
pelman all over again on a second honey-
moon that was planned to go three weeks
and be bigger and better in every way
than the first. Sylvia thought it was a
great idea the best he ha«i had in their
two and a half years of married life and
yet it only lasted one evening. Then
Leon instead of a row of ordinary pro-
portions had on his hands a separation
suit from a wife ten times madder than
she had ever been before.
Neither of the Koppelmans had done
anything very awful to each other. The
friction had begun with slight disagree-
ments such as anyone might have and
these had grown into little tiffs and fi-
nally life-sized hateful squabbles that
came so often that there was no time
for the wounds to heal. They got on a
sort of war footing and every move
looked like a military threat.
Last Winter they got each other so
upset that Mrs. Koppelman simply had
to have two weeks’ vacation from matri-
mony at Lakewood N. J. She hoped that
this would impress her husband with the
fact that he was entirely in the wrong
but on her return she was annoyed to
find that he too had taken a rest just
as if she had been the disagreeable one.
Indignant at this attitude Mrs. Koppel-
man turned around and walked right out
again to give him an indefinite and per-
haps permanent/ matrimonial vacation.
Then the husband knew that something
radical had to be done and he set out
to think the thing over honestly and with-
out emotion. After all Sylvia had been
a pretty good wife in many ways. He
used to be crazy about her. He still was
crazy about her if she would only not
fuss with him all the time. Still she did
not use to be that way. Once she had
been a soft purry kitten now she seemed
to him as full of pins as a porcupine.
Even their baby instead of being as ad-
vertised a beautiful sentiment in com-
mon was just another thing to fight
about. That was the way it seemed to
Leon.
It was preposterous. There must be
some way for a keen sensible go-getter
business man to manage better. Leon
was a successful millinery salesman and
he realized that he would never have let
a customer male or female get away
from him just because he or she was un-
reasonable. Certainly not. He made un-
reasonable customers reasonable by va-
rious tricks and devices that are the stock
in trade of a good salesman.
Scene from the Play Where the Nagging Wife
Grabs the Telephone Away from Her
Husband to Call Up Information
and Find Out Who He Has
Been Talking To.
The minute Koppelman began to think
of his wife as a customer who had gotten
away from him he filled up with ambi-
tion and confidence to get her back. She
had once been thoroughly “sold” on the
idea that he was a good husband. All he
had to do was get a repeat order which
ought to be easy as there was no rival
goods being considered as yet.
The first principles of modern sales-
manship are “give service” “strive to
please” and above all “the customer is
always right.” It was easy to see that if
he had treated his wife as a customer
there would never have been any com-
plaints. It was not too late to apply
salesmanship to his wife and he would
do it but how?
Well she had told him how often
enough—do just as he had done on the
honeymoon. He sent her a nice letter
saying that he was sorry lonesome and
loved her more than ever. There was
no answer but he had expected “cus-
tomer resistance” and sent a series - of
“follow up” letters admitting that he was
at least 100% wrong that her complaints
were justified and would be adjusted
that he understood at last what was
causing the dissatisfaction and could fix
it so that nothing could go wrong
again.
Having built up the interest and curi-
osity of his prospective “customer” he
called and she received him suspicious
but interested. As he unfolded the plan
his practiced eye told him that he was
making a “sale.” They were to start
all over new with a three weeks’ honey-
moon a bridal suite at a hotel dinners
theatres cabarets anything her little
heart desired. She pictured three weeks
of devotion and atten
tion. After that h
would have to go ti
work again but with thi
new and correct start
everything ought to bi
all right once more.
The customer like<
the idea but wanted on
concession. A new hon
eymoon would not bi
real and convincing with
out a new trousseau. Hi
. had not thought of thi:
and almost said: “We can’t include tha'
at the price I have quoted.” Instead hi
suggested that she buy all that during
the honeymoon itself which would be ar
added feature the first occasion hac
lacked. This was entirely satisfactory an<
the deal was closed and sealed with t
kiss. Fine! All he had to do now wai
deliver the goods; a thing he had dont
successfully before and—“ What man hatl
done man can do.”
* The salesman groom then returned t<
New York and prepared for the grea
event. He engaged their rooms at the
Hotel Astor and loaded them with flow
ers. This scheme was going to run int<
money but you can’t have a cheap honey-
moon. The next afternoon Leon mel
his “repeat-order” bride at the ferry’ anc
they both put on a blush and a bashfu
smile reminiscent of the former memo-
rable occasion. This honeymoon had the
advantage of starting without the nerve-
wracking ordeal of wedding festivities.
The bride was delighted with the rooms
the flowers the dinner and apparently
the groom’s deportment. Everything
pointed to a huge success.
While Leon entered into the spirit of
the new courtship wholeheartedly yet he
was a sensible well-balanced business
man and he knew there was no use in
kidding himself or kidding her. The first
courtship had been more or less like a
couple of angels in heaven treading around
in an unnatural atmosphere which had to
come to an end when they came down to
earth living together eating three meals
a day and going through the hard prac-
tual trials of real life.
So in the second honeymoon Leon con-
cluded they might as well cut out some
<C> 192«. by Amerlrt" Weekly.
Another Scene Where the Fault-finding Wife Discharges jars "unfolded ’hemseTves
a Very Satisfactory Servant On Account of a Very as the play went on.
Small Delinquency — Much to Her Husband’s Craig’s wife was getting
Indignant Disgust. meanc ; b - v the ™n ute
& “ once the man at her side
forgot himself and joined
of the nonsense with which lovers sur- in the applause. Of course Mrs. Koppel-
round their courtship and go ahead on a man knew that really she did not resemble
1 idinvr bciiit pi deni dun »dsi2*. *» iidi uuui*i
be nicer at the very start-off of the new
honeymoon than to invite Sylvia to the
theatre? Sylvia was charmed remember-
ing the nice theatre parties of her first
courtship.
It didn’t matter much to Sylvia what
play she went to. The charm of the new
situation delighted her and it would be
/ so nice to have Leon back at her side once
more the thoughtful generous adoring
lover he used to be.
Yes Sylvia would be perfectly delighted
to go to the theatre with Leon. Mr. Kop-
pelman said that he had seats for “Craig’s
Wife” but if she preferred something
else— Mrs. Koppelman knew nothing of
this play but she had her intuitions. It
was evidently about a wife and her hus-
band must have selected it because of its
appropriateness to his present humble at-
titude. She was sure that it would depict
some martyred long-suffering wife (like
herself) scolded and abused by a hus-
band (like himself) who did not appre-
ciate ami understand. In the end the play-
wright no doubt would have some beauti-
ful message for her which Leon felt but
was not able to put into words. What a
lovely way for a husband to apologize to
his wife.
The seats were nice the stage-set was
nice everything was as it should be ex-
cept that character on the stage who rep-
resented the wifb. Before the first act
was over she realized that the wife “Mrs.
Craig” was one of those typical pain-in-
the-neck characters which Chrystal Herne
plays so well. A hideous suspicion began
to form in Sylvia’s mind as she saw that
this stage wife was mean selfish catty
and yet so skilful that she always made
the other person seem to blame. Worst
of all the husband was the abused and
injured party. She had driven all Craig's
friends away and hurt his career just so
she could have her selfish way and rule
their lives and Craig the poor innocent
didn’t suspect it.
Sylvia shot an occasional glance at the
husband beside her. He was drinking it
all in with the amused yet scared face of
Inc. Great Britain Rights Reamed.
Before the Last Act Was Over Mr. Koppelman
Glanced at His Wife and Found Her Staring at Him with
Set Features.
“You needn’t glare at me." he said.
“I'll glare at you all I please" replied his wife. “You
brought me here to this play on purpose to insult me."
“I did not” shouted Mr. Koppelman at his wife. "But
if you find that awful woman on the stage resembles you—-
if the cap fits put it on!”
a boy who fears that he is
going to laugh out loud in
church.
“Have you seen this play
before?” she demanded.
“No dear.”
“Did you know what it
was about?”
“No dear.”
“Well it’s a mighty
strange coincidence.”
“Yes dear.”
Between the acts they
talked but no longer with
that sweet bride-and-
groomy air which they had
brought into the theatre. In
the second act things grew
rapidly worse. Bits of dia-
logue ■ and even whole
scenes more or loss ni<r.
up uiiHßunif' mrs. viaig oui sne aiso
believed that her husband thought she did
in some respects.
Mr. Koppelman says that in the second
act some people behind him began to com-
ment on the play. “Mrs. Craig” said a
woman “is not really a normal charac-
ter.” “What she has” replied her com-
panion “is selfishness to a degree that al-
most means insanity.”
At this moment Mr. Koppelman was so
unfortunate as to glance at his wife and
she caught his eye.
Before the last act was over Mr. Kop-
pelman turned and looked at his wife and
found her staring at him with set features.
“You needn't glare at me” he said.
“I'll glare at you all 1 please” replied
his wife. “You brought me here to this
play on purpose to insult me.”
“I did not!” shouted Mr. Koppelman at
his wife. “But if you find that awful
woman on the stage resembles you—if the
cap fits put it on!”
It was with great difficulty that Mr.
Koppelman induced his wife to remain
till the last curtain.
Here are some of the lines which rubbed
all the honey off Mrs. Koppelman’s honey-
moon. Nice old Auntie Austen in the
play tells Craig a thing or two which
made Mr. Koppelman chuckle:
MISS AUSTEN — Nobody could like
Harriet Walter; she doesn’t want them to.
CRAIGS—WeII what has Harriet done?
MISS AUSTEN—She’s left you prac-
tically friendless for one thing because
the visits of your friends imply an impor-
tance to you that is at'variance with her
plan: so she’s made it perfectly clear to
them by a thousand little gestures that
they are not welcome in her house. Be-
cause this is her house you know. Walter:
it isn't yours. This house is what Harriet
married—she didn’t marry you. You sim-
ply went with the house—as a more or
less regrettable necessity. And you must
not obtrude; for she wants the house all
to herself. So she has set about reducing
you to as negligible a factor as possible
in the scheme of things here.
CRAIG—WeII wh\ shouldn’t Harriet
want my friends here?
MISS AUSTEN—For the same reason
that she doesn’t want anybody else here
because she is a supremely selfish woman:
and with the arrogance of the selfish mind
she wants to exclude the whole world be-
cause she cannot impose her narrow little
order upon it. And these four walls are
the symbol of that selfish exclusion.
CRAIG—I don't think I'd feel worse
if it were Mother herself that were leav-
ing.
MISS AUSTEN—Be glad that it isn't
your mother Walter; for she would have
left long ago.
Mrs. Koppelman believed that she had
Aeen personally insulted’TTiP? started to
^eaye‘the theatre. But she remained until
the play was over and thep tearfully re-
fused to go to the cabaret and the two
argued earnestly on the sidewalk. Up in
the flower-bedecked bridal suite at the
Astor was a final and decisive quarrel.
Sylvia then left Leon forever and. so there
would be no doubts about it put it in
writing on the hotel stationery.
Then the silent husband accompanied
his wife to her Brooklyn home and was
bidden an icy farewell and he went back
to his brideless bridal suite where the hon-
eymoon had begun and ended the one
brief effort.
It was no use. There was now only
one thing to do—to appeal to the courts
for a separation. Mrs. Koppelman went
to her lawyer laid her cards on the table
and Supreme Court Justice Callaghan
was asked to issue an order for alimony
and counsel fees pending the trial of the
separation suit.
Taking the witness stand Mrs. Koppel-
man said:
“It was arranged last January that my
husband was to court me all over again.
This second courtship was to last three
weeks. We decided to begin our second
courtship by seeing a show and my bus-
band selected ‘Craig’s Wife.’
“My husband’s evident purpose in fak-
ing me to see this play was to show that
I was entirely at fault during our mar-
ried life. After the play Mr. Koppelman
took me to a room in the Hotel Astor
locked the door and talked abusively to
me. And there and then our second
courtship ended.”
Mr. Koppelman in his testimony denied
his wife’s charges and said she “got in a
frenzy” over the play. If his wife had
some unpleasant things to tell about him
so he also had a few things to relate
about her. He said his wife once quar-
reled with him because he ate a dozen
rolls at a fashion show and on another
occasion because he allowed the baby to
go to sleep while his wife was preparing
the child’s bath.
And the wearied judge drew a sigh and
shaking his head refused Mrs. Koppel-
man’s motion for alimony and counsel
fees declaring that she had not shown
facts which would justify a judgment of
separation. The treatment of the hus-
band was neither cruel nor inhuman and
he had not deserted nor refused to sup-
port her. There was no insurmountable
harrier the judge continued to their
coming together again and living as de-
cent married people should live.
And if Leon and Sylvia ponder Judge
Callaghan’s hint and they try another
courtship what sort of a play does the
reader imagine Mr. Koppelman will pick
•ut next time?
7
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San Antonio Sunday Light (San Antonio, Tex.), Vol. 46, No. 69, Ed. 1 Sunday, March 28, 1926, newspaper, March 28, 1926; San Antonio, Texas. (https://texashistory.unt.edu/ark:/67531/metapth1631548/m1/71/: accessed May 25, 2024), University of North Texas Libraries, The Portal to Texas History, https://texashistory.unt.edu; .