The Orange Leader (Orange, Tex.), Vol. 64, No. 137, Ed. 1 Friday, June 9, 1967 Page: 4 of 18
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IF YOU DON'T FEEL BETTER—HAVE THIS FILLED!
The Orange Leader
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By BOB CONSIDINE
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big step in the right
These ard other forms of unwillingness direction.
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Another Side of the Power-Failure Coin
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By HAL BOYLE
So distressing, in fact, that they lobbied through pressure of details then will give you a better
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THESE DAYS ...
If Only Reason Were To Prevail
doesn't faze me a bit. I don't
worry about the guerrilla we
ambushed and killed the other
night. We took his M-1, his
ammo and gear from the body
and brought it back to camp.
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the operation of county governments which
makes it extremely difficult for these
*
ON THE LINE ...
New Kind of Oration
For Memorial Day Seen
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Weird New Patch for Crazy-Quilt Constitution
By J. CULLEN BROWNING
_____ samn
------TV 30
THE BUSINESS MIRROR ... •
Fictional Heroes Collect
Huge Sales Commissions
By JOHN CUNNIFF
Try And Stop Me
________By BENNETT CERF_______
something from a fighting man
Or from the bereaved.
It won't make for easy diges-
tion
A friend has sent me a sam-
pling of letters from her Marine
son, written under extreme dif-
ficulties
"We are just ending Opera
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Entered d Oronge. Texos. Post Offie cs second cioss mater
wnder txt e Congress 2, 1879.
THE OFFBEAT NEWSBEAT . . .
Some Familiar Remarks
Can Lead to More Trouble
you there as soon as I get rid of
another patient" The doctor
made It to the hospital just in
time to sqe the ambulance drive
up — but instead of the sick
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th- Texas legislature the constitutional amend-
ment mentioned above
I don’t know whether or not these lobbyists
gave any cocktail parties tor the lawmakers. If
they did, and if they took the booze to Austin
from their city it was. purchased in Arkansas.
That state's portion of Texarkana is wet while
the Texas segment of it is dry. And I wonder if the
next move on the part of Texarkana, Tex., retail-
ers will be a constitutional amendment to outlaw
prohibition in their part of town.
Furthermore, I am of the opinion that if we're
going to star* providing constitutional tax umbrellas
in Texas for border towns and their residents, we
ought to go whole hog
For example. Louisiana charges much less for
a set of automobile license plates than Texas.
Shouldn’t we have a constitutional amendment re-
t
EDITORIAL PAGE
ORANGE. TiXAS. FRIDAY, JUNE 9, 1967
"Mom, i ve gotten so that this ’ heart and had decided not to
....... return to school when he came
Moment of Meditation
Blessed are the poor in spirit: for theirs is the king,
dom of heaven. Blessed are they that mourn: for they
shall be comforted. —Matt. 5:3-4.
2
3
Human Events recently asked this question:
"How bad is the Post Office service? A letter from
a Washingtoon, D. C., resident, sent to the Hoe.
Everett M. Dirksen at his former residence on
Massachusetts Avenue, was returned to the sender
stamped, ‘Addressee Unknown.' "
terday a corporal I know lost
his left eye.
“We got shot up in our chop-
per trying to land on the 28th
. . I have to close now, Mom.
I can’t write any more Send
some pictures of the family .. ."
There was another letter from
the Marine to his mother, a
pledge that he would return to
school when it was all over “and
make something of myself.” .
And' still another, asking her to
get a young sister to fix up his
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The City of Texarkana is divided into two parts
— one in Texas, the other in Arkansas and this
fact may cause a weird new patch to be added to
the crazy-quilt constitution of our state.
On Nov. 5, 1968. Texas voters will go to the polls
and mark long ballots listing candidates for offices
ranging all -the way from president to public
weigher.
They also will vote on 14 proposed amendments
.to the Constitution of Texas, including one authoriz-
ing the legislature to provide for refund of tax on
cigars and tobacco. products sold at retail in this
state's segment of Texarkana.
At first blush one might wonder if members of
the Texas Legislature approved the submission of
that amendment at the tag end of a cocktail party
given by lobbyists for the tobacco industry.
That wasn't the ease at all. It was submited
because hardly anybody buys cigars and tobacco
products in Texarkana, Tex . nowadays.
The reason is that the State of Texas imposes
heavy taxes on these items and the State of Arkansas
doesn't tax them at all:
So, naturally, anybody in Texarkana, Tex . Who
needs a smoke or a chaw or a dip and is able to
NEW YORK - Some year,
date still over the horizon, a
Memorial Day orator will tear
up his prepared speech — the
one about "the last full measure
of devotion" - skip the mourn-
ful sounding of taps, and read
“You're sicker than you
think,” a doctor warned an ail-
ing candy manufacturer, “and I
want you to go right to the hos-
pital in an ambilance. I'll meet
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Still another would be greater emphasis
on cooperation between our local agencies of
government, especially in the area of regional
planning and regional financing and develop-
ment of services which cut across jurisdic-
tional boundaries. ;
Those who fear that this sort of thing
is a step toward metro government should
bear in mind that we are presently headed
down the highroad toward that tspe of
government—with the headquarters for it
located in Washington.
By JOHN CHAMBERLAIN
ama — would be the right pitch
for us Nasser could be sweet-
ened with a promise of repara-
tions for those Arab refugees
from Palestine."
King Faisai of Saudi Arab a:
“Of course we re with Nasser
when it comes to hating the
Israelis, But maybe it isn't
quite bright of us to tell the
nations of the West that they
won't get any of our oil if they
take Israel’s part in'this fight
“Here we have 7 percent of
the world’s oil supply right here
in this hot and sandy peninsula
of ours. and it brings in more
than a billion dollars a year
There’s lots of Chryslers in it
for us, and there’s all those
schools and social services for
the rabble who might want a
“An optimist is a fellow who
believes a housefly is looking
for a way to get out."—George
Jean Nathan.
I
!
to solve state and local problems through
the agencies which should provide the solu-
tions are bringing on more and more federal
■ programs for grants-in-aid.
• And, quite naturally, each such program
carries with it some measure of control by
the federal bureaucracy'over the manner in
which funds they dispense is to be used.
One of the principal deterrents to a
reversal of the trend .toward more and more
reliance upon Washington for- solutions to
state and local problems is the present frag-
NEW YORK (AP) - Nowhere
are the true measures and di-
mensions of our fictional heroes
more apparent then in the hero-
ic size of their sales commis-
sions. which run to the tens and
hundreds of thousands of dol-
lars.
In the hero business there is
little the hero cannot do. Can
Batman sell ice cream? You bet
he can. And his promoters say
that by actual count be has lent
his name Jo the sale of nearly
1,000 other produets, too.
And Superman? How’s he as a
-salesman’ Simply super. He's
His body was still out there
when we went on a swe’ep the
next day
"Cruel? Yes, but a couple-of
nights before some of those
guys crept up close enough to
us to lob in grenades One tore
the left leg off a friend close by.
Another pal was hit in the face
and another in the throat. Yes-
who does.a fair job of running
the localpartyin the U.S.,is
quite satisfied that he has the
hippies and the draft card burn-
, ers and the campus ideologues
in his pocket even if they don't
know it. But thisMliddle Eastern
trouble which we have stirred
up by giving Nasser all those
tanks and MIGs could get away
from us
•'Thinking back to the time
when old Joe. who sometimes
got too smart for his breeches,
signed that pact with Adolf Hit-
ler. maybe there is a parallel
in it worth contemplating Joe
thought he was monstrously
- clever when he succeeded in
turning Hitler against the West •
by agreeing to cut up Poland
with him
“But a couple of years later
we got it in the neck We were
saved because the conscience of
the Western World was so re-
volted by Hitler’s action, in-
cluding the slaughter of those .
millions of Jews, that war to the
death followed against the 1,000-
year Reich
“If Britain and America had
not hung in there, we'd be a
rump government today behind
the Urals. Well, if we let Nas-
ser exterminate Israel this
time, where would that. leave
us? The West would have its
bad conscience all over again—
and it’s when those Christians
have bad consciences that you
have to look out for them
“Maybe we had better with-
draw a bit on this support of
Nasser Could be that a confer-
ence on the right to innocent use
.of all waterways.— the Katte-
gat. the Dardanelles. the Bos-
porus, the Straits of Gibraltar,
the Gulf of Aqaba. Suez. Pan-
4. ,
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YOUR HOROSCOPE . . .
The Stars Say
FOR TOMORROW
You-can make Saturday a fine day by planning
smartly. Handle routine affairs in the A M hours,
since there’s indication of an interesting oppor-
tunity being presented after noon.-Relief from the
chance to study th new offering.
FOR THE BIRTHDAY’ ,
If tomorrow is your birthday, your horoscope
ind cates a pleasant outlook for most well-planned
and cleverly managed interests, especially those in-
volving job and financial concerns if you set high
goals for yourself, therefore, and pursue them con-
scientiously, your affairs should be in tine shape by
this time next year. Best periods for occupational
- AHO TAKE THE
I AMBULANCE
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promises protection around the
clock. It works, too. Notice how
seldom you find a smelly
clock?" — Col.-Francis Duffy.
also w o u l d be a
“Why should a movie star
look like the girl next door? I
, there's an income tax inspector
P ■ checking on his deductions." —
f y Soupy Sales.
I A “Now there's a deodorant that
hoid, out long enough to cross the state line can
go over to Texarkana, Ark , and save a few
pennies.
This of .course is a distressing situation for the
merchants in Texarkana, Tex. who operate retail
establishments where cigars and tobacco products
would be sold if they couldn't be purchased tax-
free in Arkansas.
republican form of government
if we stopped feeding the stuff
out to them
"If, in our pride, we cut our-
selves off from western mar-
kets. Standard Oil might not
like it. But we’d be without cus-
tomers.
Would the Soviet Union
and Red China take our oil?
How many automobiles have
they’ How many homes in Can-
ton or in Kiev have oil-burning
furnaces?
" Of course, if that Fiat fac-
01941
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VaMRgRaen-
• Let’s suppose — strange
thought —.that people inkey
spots throughout the world had
suddenly become amenable to
reasoned thought
On this extremely unlikely
presupposition, we might listen
in on a number of fascinating
interior monologues:
Brezhnev (or Kosygin): "Our
Soviet policy of keeping the
capitalist world in turmoil and
dissension has been rather suc-
cessful to date Those idiotic
Americans have gone on spend-
ing S25 billion a year in Viet-
nam, and getting themselves
.killed, while not a single Rus-
sian has lost his life in this war
for communism in Southeast
Asia __- .
“Meanwhile, good old Gus Hall,
ducing this tax for citizens of counties bordering on
Leuisiana to whatever that state charges’
But there is a flaw in all this. It might produce
a deluge of constitutional amendments of that na-
ture in Texas. Oklahoma, Louisiana, Arkansas and
New Mexico
if Texans approve the Texarkana cigar and
tohacco tax amendment Arkansas may recipro-
cate with one offering state - financed trading
stamps with purchases of those items made in
its part of Texarkana.
Or maybe one providing for a free cigar or pack
of cigarettes with each pint of booze purchased on
th?’ side of Texarkana
There's just no end to the possibilities and in
my humble opinion we have enough crises around
the world without touching off a new one involving
Texas and her neighboring states.
Besides, the Constitution of Texas clearly states
that taxation shall be equal and uniform and I
would presume that this applies to cigar and to-
bacco-retailers in its part of Texarkana
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Genrot Oifce ond Ciqssified
Cireulaton Deoartment —
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wife “Didn’t you realize this
ambulance was for your hus-
band?" asked the doctor. “I
tried to tell her,” broke in the
husband, who had just come tot-
tering on the scene, "but one
word led to another, and, as
usual, I came on the bus.”
} T
QUOTABLE . . .
“Behind every successful man
ing to see what our next move
is It just might be that we ll
be shipped to Okinawa or the
Philippines — some keep say-
ing it's 110 degrees, at least,
and we feel every degree of it.
"You asked me in your last
letter bow things are. You won't
like it, but I’ll tell you anyway
because you should know
"We've been going into the
villages where we know the
gooks are holed up. waiting to
hit us. We chase the women
and children and then burn the
homes. If the men run at us,
we shoot them:
in this country during the past several dec-
ades has been truly phenomenal and we
have remained incessantly amazed at the
ability of the companies supplying it to keep
abreast of the need. . .
We also have remained aware that
mechanical flaws are bound'to develop now
and then in the incredibly complex mass of
hardware which'makes up today’s electric
power generation and distribution system.
These flaws can and do result in massive
transmission failures And we can be confi-
dent that' the electric power industry is
making every effort to eliminate the flaws
and keepothers from developing.
advancement: September, November. December
and next March. On the monetary score, you are
currently in an excellent cycle for advancing your
status - one which will last until the end of 1967.
Consolidate gains then, and make no further
moves toward fiscal expansion until the first of
next March, when you will enter another good four-
month period for increasing assets
Where personal interests are concerned. interest-
ing opportunities for travel are indicated within
the next 3% months; also in January and April of
next year. The period between now and late Sep-
terests; also late October and next April. Social
activities should prove highly stimulating between
now and mid-September 1 an excellent period for
all Geminians): also in December, January and
next April Do try to avoid friction in close circles
during the early part of November, however. .
A child born on this day will be idealistic and
both intellectually and creatively inclined.
out. He had been a good car
mechanic.
"When he was home he
worked on his hot-rod a lot.”
his mother wrote me. “I can
hear him now. hollering up to
the window for me to look out
and listen to the motor as he
revved it up, and asking me
how I thought it sounded. Then
he'd come through the door,
grease all over himself, laugh-
ing and pretending he was going
to rub his hands on my face.
Buddy loved to tease me.”
room at home, “but try to ex-
- . plain to her that sometimes men
tion Deckhouse VI. Right now don't come back from a war.”
Im sitting on the beach. wait- • And then a tormented scrawl:
■I just heard from Mary.
Mom, she's pregnant by a fel-
low I introduced her to before
I came over here I don’t know
what to say. She’s going, to go
home and face her family and
have the baby.'
“f still love her, I think . .
but I can't think of marrying_____
her for .ajong time. Why would
she do a thing like that, after
giving her the ring and making
all those plans?”
Still another letter, bitter but
still signed, “Your Loving Son.”
Said he had had a-change of
fPyHisun L
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V5, •
selling 400 different products
made by 100 companies Al-
though this is not as big as Bat-
man's line right now. Superman
might remain popular longer.
And Snow White? Why, her
soft-sell approach puts her into
product lines that* the men
couldn't handle Like bleach.
Because their personalities
are trusted, entertaining, inspir-
ing and all-powerful, fictional
heroes are eagerly welcomed by
many Americans
Just as eagerly. the heroes
are welcomed by licensing com-'
panies that sign them to con-
tracts under which they lend
their' names and good will to
sneakers. foods, apparel for a
royalty or fee.
If in the next few weeks you
feel the presence of Snow White
and her seven dwarfs in your
America’s investor-owned electric power
companies and many of their customers have
taken a series of beatings lately because of
transmission failures.
These have left us with two impressions
One is that heaven knows how many
more problems of this type we would be
having if the nation's entire electric power
system was government-owned and under1
direct bureaucratic control.
The other is that the investor - owned
companies have had as few transmission
failures as have occurred and have been so
prompt and effective" in restoring service to
the affected areaf:
The growth in demand for electric power
ACROSS THE EDITOR’S DESK ...
“I’d suggest you load up on
this stock now while it’s still
selling at a buck a share. The
hot tip on Wall Street is hat the
firm is working on a way to
make candy bars out of clover
When they get the formula down
pat, the stock'll zoom to 5100 for
sure.”,
"If you're looking for the best
used car on the lot, I’ll recom-
mend this one 100 percent. I
know it's in great shape because
a little old lady in tennis shoes
— she happens to be my own
mother — turned it in yesterday
for a new model.”
“I haven't been in a gym for
years. Joe, but let's put on the
gloves for a couple of rounds.
There's a trick or two I learned
in college I’d like to show you.”
“My father told me never to
play poker in a railroad club
car with strangers. But, if
you're sure it's just for small
stakes, I guess I wouldn't mind
sitting in for a few hands.”
"Tell me, Mr. Greenbaum J
why is it the Israelis have so
much trouble getting along with
that fellow Nasser? He can't be
all that bad, can he?”
“No daughter of mine is going
to be seen in public wearing a
dress like that. I'd just as soon
see you walk out of this house in
nothing but your underwear.
Wait a minute, honey’ — take
your hand off the doorknob.”
“Oh. go ahead and park here.
What if we aren't quite 15 feet
from the fireplug? Traffic cops
don’t carry measuring tapes
with them, do they?”
"I never bought a mink jacket
off a guy on a sidestreet before.
Your sister must be really hard
up to let it go for only 599. Are
you sure it’s real mink?" •
1d
I
tory becomes a reality in Soviet
Russia, they might need more
gasoline But the money for
those Fiat machine tools is in
the World Bank, which is sub-
ject to pressure from the U.S.
and Britain
if I only knew enough to
come in when it rains — pardon
the Yankeeism. but it seems ap-
propriate — I’d go slow in sup-
porting Nasser on this anti-
Israeli kick He could have my
country in economic ruins —
and how long would I last
then?"
Mrs. Indira Gandhi of India:.
“We wanted to make sure that
the Suez Canal would remain
open to us ■ So we didn’t
want to antagonize Nasser But
the Arabs are Moslems. J u s t
like the Pakistanis. How will
Hindus and Buddhists fare in a
world that is taken over by
Moslems in league arith Russian
and Chinese Reds?
"I wonder what my father,
the great Nehru, would have
thought about all this? And if
Suez were permanently closed
bv war to Yankee ships. how
about that wheat? How would
it/get here in time to keep Indi-
ans from starving? Maybe I
had better get myself a new
policy.”
• e-
“My old high school beau —
the handsome one with the curly:
hair — la- in town and wants to
--- . girl next door? I take me to lunch and tell me
know I don't look like the girl about his new divorce. You can
next door. If I did, people would join us if you want to. dear, but
. not go to my movis. They'd go I know this is one of your busy
man climbing out, it was his next door.'' — Jayne Mansfield. days at the olfice,"
suemumgunahuwt-w 6%
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Government-From Washington
■ §29
up and funded by the Congress,
A recent example of this form of derelic-
tion at the state level was the failure of the
6Dth Texas Legislature to do anywhere near
as much as it should have toward providing
relief from financial pressures on our city
and county governments .
Another example is the agonizingly slow
pace of efforts here and elsewhere through-
out Texas to perfect our public school organi-
zation and provide it with an ample and
. equitable system of -state and local
— fnancing. ' .
THE ORANGE LEADER
Putoshee Week Dars ond Sundo, Marning
by The
Orenge Leder Pibi ishing Co. (inc)
200 w. From Ave, P. o Box »wt. Oronge, reros noe
Jgmer B Qvgley, Presidend ond Pubiher
agencies to provide their services in the
manner that they should
Despite these handicaps, there are some
things that can be done in this or any other
‘ area to alleviate the problem of growing
reliance ’ upon the federal government for
solutions to state and local problems. -
In the case of Orange County a one-dis-
trict school system would be very helpful.
More .adequate financing of our city and
county governments from local tax resources
e5e
kE.. 3
Practically all of the current grants-in-aid mentation of local government ; ’
programs of the federal government for state .. For example, we still have seven school
and local public agencies are the result of a districts in Orange County when they should. -
single fait • be only one We have three incorporated
This is that we. the people, andour law- cities in the Orange area when, there should
making and policymaking bodies at the state be only one
■and local levels of government have been Another major deterrent to a reversal of
unwilling to deal effectively with the prob- ‘ the trend'is a statewide system of financing
lems which caused these programs to be set
kitchen, your supermarket, yout
newspaper—if she is constantly
on your mind—it is not because
you are regressing. It simply
means that Snow White and her
• entourage will be released as a
motion picture for the seventh
time this month and that the
advance publicity has begun.
Attending the queen heroine
will be the usual advertisements -
by her producer, Walt Disney
Productions. But accompanying
this will-be a series of license
arrangements with scores of
companies. Miss White will pro-
mote. among other things. a
bleach and a gelatin. Her
dwarfs will tumble, two at a
time, from a breakfast cereal
box. .
Such licensing and tie-in ad-
vertising is sort of circular. The
hero or heroine generates inter-
est and good will: this interest
and good will can be transferred
to the sale of products; the sale -
of products helps promote the
hero.
These arrangements are pro-
fitable to live figures also—to
heroes such as Arnold Palmer
the golfer and singers such as
the Monkees and other person-
alities who can give exposure-
over a span of time and space.
Toys, books. apparel and food
are among the most easily pro-
motable through fictional char-
acters. But cars and guns have
used heroes for sales.
। True Life Adventures
mEMeEr assocuated’ e«ns
The Associofed Press is exetustvely tomevsetor
repubiicotion ot ot locoi neas printed in This nrwspoper
03 weil o3 •• AP dispotehei
SUBSCRIPTON RATES
Br Corrler _____________________ Monthy; ID 00 Per Year
By Motl ---___________ $200 Monihty: 82400 rtf Year
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NEW YORK AP — Re-
marks that lead only to more
trouble;
"U you don’t like the way I'm
doing ’my job, you- can always
get someone else to do it ”
“I’m taking a flight today to
qualify for my pilot's license.
Care to go up with me?"-
"Would you mind reaching
over and holding the wheel -
while I light up a cigarette?
Don’t worry — we’re only doing
70" '
"Why .do you always want to
see a film if Julie Christie is in
it, George? What has she got:
that I.don't have?"
“Pass me.an ear of corn. With
this new $630 bridge in my
mouth, I feel like I can eat any-
thing.’”’
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The Orange Leader (Orange, Tex.), Vol. 64, No. 137, Ed. 1 Friday, June 9, 1967, newspaper, June 9, 1967; Orange, Texas. (https://texashistory.unt.edu/ark:/67531/metapth1619885/m1/4/: accessed May 20, 2024), University of North Texas Libraries, The Portal to Texas History, https://texashistory.unt.edu; crediting Lamar State College – Orange.