The Emissary, Volume 16, Number 9, October 1984 Page: PAGE3
20 p. : ill.View a full description of this periodical.
Extracted Text
The following text was automatically extracted from the image on this page using optical character recognition software:
working and parenting seem to
change over time. But in the
beginning, the overwhelming com-
plaint is lack of sleep.
"I used to fantasize about
sleep," says Weinman. That's not
surprising. When her twins, Daniel
and Adam, were infants, one
would wake up in the middle of
the night to nurse. His hunger cries
awakened the other, who promptly
wailed louder so he would not be
left out of the feeding line. This
went on several times a night for
what seemed like endless months.
Daydreaming about sleep
Weinman returned to work
when the twins were 2 months old.
"I don't think I was running on all
six cylinders," she says with a
laugh. "Once we had a going-away
luncheon for colleague. I kept
daydreaming about how nice it
would be to go to the bathroom,
stretch out on the tiles and fall
asleep." Not long after, she
konked out at the table.
Sleepless nights are an undenia-
ble part of caring for a sick child,
and illness seems to rank second
on the hard-part-of-parenting list.
Again, the child takes priority for
parents interviewed. But, fre-
quently, parents share the burden
and trade taking days off from
work.
"Our department seems to be
very understanding when a child is
sick," says Baptiste. "I know that
if Terrell is sick, I have people who
will cover for me. People here
know what it's like to have a crisis
as a parent."
For Dr. J. Ray Hays, acting head
of training, the most difficult part
of working and parenting is getting
and staying in a routine. His wife,
Bethany, is an obstetrician and has
irregular hours, so Hays's job is to
awaken the children-Josh, 2-1/2,
Seth, 5, and Will, 8-dress them,
feed them, and take them to their
respective schools, all before he
comes to work.
"The children really respond
well to a routine. I don't always.
So it's the hardest thing for me."
And, oh yes, guilt
Some of the parents grapple
with guilt. Leaving their children
in someone else's hands, not
JIHEL EMiSSARYspending enough time teaching and
training them, not making enough
time for their spouses, not keeping
a clean house are among the big-
gest prompters of guilt feelings.
"I wish I could be with my kids
more to play with them and teach
them things," Kellerman says.
"Like in the morning. The time is
so limited so I end up feeding Lisa
when I know she could feed her-
self. It would just take too long. I
feel like I don't attend to their
needs as much as I should because
it's so hard just getting through the
daily processes of living."
Aivazian has stopped taking her
child to the babysitter. Her hus-
band does. The parting is too
much for her to bear. "I cannot
stand to see him crying. I call my
husband who tells me about it and
then I feel so down anyway."
Leaving is also hard for Keller-
man. "Separation is an issue for
everyone, but it's so much clearer
for a child. It brings up my own
fear of separation. When I leave
her, I feel her little pain, big pain,
so much."
Baptiste says she probably is too
protective of the baby. "I really
take care of him first, so lots of
times I feel like I've neglected my
husband."
Jane Corinne, assistant project
director for the Texas Project forElders, is a single mother with cus-
tody of 5-year-old Rachael.
Dog hair belongs on floor
"I had a constant feeling of
being overwhelmed after my ex-
husband left town. There was
always dog hair on the floor and I
went around feeling out of sync.
I'd look at other people's immacu-
late houses and feel so guilty. At
some point I realized I couldn't do
it all. I tried not to feel inferior
and to feel more at ease with
household management-as it
were," she says.
Hays, on the other hand, says he
never feels guilty. "We each have
our jobs to do. The children's job
is to go to school and make good
grades. My job is to work and
make money. As long as we are all
fulfilling our duties, everything is
fine," he says.
Perhaps some of his confidence
comes from his experience. This is
his second family (he has twe
much older children from a pre-
vious marriage), he is more
mature, and he has made signifi-
cant advances in his career.
"With this family, I'm much
more relaxed and can enjoy the
daily caregiving tasks. I've stopped
traveling so much and I can be
home if I have to," he says.
This summer, Hays also workeda)
o-i\
Chaos is a normal part of living for (left to right) Dr. Maxine Weinman, her daugh-
ter Veronica, son Daniel, husband Dr. Henry Epstein, and son Adam. Daniel and
Adam are twins.C)CIOBER I 984 p ~jp 3
P'A6
OC.FTBER 1984
Upcoming Pages
Here’s what’s next.
Search Inside
This issue can be searched. Note: Results may vary based on the legibility of text within the document.
Tools / Downloads
Get a copy of this page or view the extracted text.
Citing and Sharing
Basic information for referencing this web page. We also provide extended guidance on usage rights, references, copying or embedding.
Reference the current page of this Periodical.
Texas Research Institute of Mental Sciences. The Emissary, Volume 16, Number 9, October 1984, periodical, October 1984; Austin, Texas. (https://texashistory.unt.edu/ark:/67531/metapth1543522/m1/3/: accessed May 30, 2024), University of North Texas Libraries, The Portal to Texas History, https://texashistory.unt.edu; crediting UNT Libraries Government Documents Department.