South Texas College of Law Annotations (Houston, Tex.), Vol. 36, No. 2, Ed. 1, April/May, 2004 Page: 4 of 12
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Special
April/May 2004
By April Greenhouse
■X Staff Photographer
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Professor Profile
1. What do you do to relieve stress?
I used to go running. I still run, but now it usually involves chasing after a two-
year-old.
2. What is the worst thing a student could do in your classroom?
Not pay attention to class discussion.
3. Who is your favorite person, dead or alive?
I have two: my wife and son.
4. If you were taken to a deserted island, what three things would
you bring?
An axe, a hefty anthology of literature, and a blanket.
5. What is the first item you would buy if you won the lottery?
A cup of Starbucks coffee. I might splurge on a Venti-size.
6. What was your most embarrassing moment at STCL?
It's hard to say. Perhaps the time I admonished a young woman for leaving
class and coming back in so often, only to learn that she was
pregnant.
7. What is your most unusual habit?
Taking public transportation. I think that qualifies as an unusual
habit in Houston.
8. If you didn't work in the legal profession, where would
you be?
I'd probably be either a college professor or a veterinarian.
9. What is your nickname (past or present)?
I've had several. In college, I was known as "Brusier." I'm not
sure why, although I was a lot heavier then.
10. What is your favorite T.V. show?
Law and Order (all three series).
11. If you had a choice, what would be your last meal?
Pizza.
The Lighter Side of Law
The Car Wreck
A doctor and a lawyer got into a car accident, on a small country road. The
lawyer had figured that nobody else would be on the road, and had raced
through a stop sign. The doctor, on a cross street, had no time to react and
couldn't have missed the lawyer if he had tried. Fortunately, neither driver
was hurt.
The lawyer, seeing that the doctor was a little shaken up, helped him from
his battered car and offered him a drink from a hip flask.The doctor ac-
cepted, took a deep drink, and handed the flask back to the lawyer. The
lawyer held the flask for a minute or two, and gave it to the doctor again. The
doctor took another swig. He again returned the flask to the lawyer, who
closed it and put it away.
"Aren't you going to have a drink yourself?" asked the doctor.
"Not now," answered the lawyer. "I'll have something after the police leave."
Retirement
A doctor had just bought a villa on the French Riviera, when met an old
lawyer friend whom he hadn't seen in years, and they started talking. The
lawyer, as it turned out, owned a nearby villa. They discussed how they came
to retire to the Riviera.
"Remember that lousy office complex I bought?" asked the lawyer, "Well, it
caught fire, and I retired here with the fire insurance proceeds. What are you
doing here?"
The doctor replied, "Remember that real estate I had in Mississippi? Well,
the river overflowed, and here I am with the flood insurance proceeds. If s
amazing that we both ended up here in pretty much the same way."
"It sure is," the lawyer replied, looking puzzled, "but I'm confused about one
thing - how do you start a flood?"
It's Your Duck
A big city lawyer went duck hunting in rural Tennessee. He shot and
dropped a bird, but it fell into a farmer's field on the other side of a
fence. As the lawyer climbed over the fence to collect the bird, an
elderly farmer drove up on his tractor and asked him what he was
doing.
The lawyer replied, "I shot a duck and it fell in this field. Now I'm going
in to retrieve it."
The old farmer looked the lawyer in the eyes and stated firmly, 'This is
my property, and you are not coming over here."
The lawyer huffed angrily, "I am one of the best trial attorneys in the
country. If you don't let me get my duck, I'll sue you."
The old farmer smiled. "Apparently, you don't know how we do things in
Tennessee. We settle small disagreements like this with the Tennes-
see Three Kick Rule."
The lawyer asked, "What's the Tennessee Three Kick Rule?"
The Farmer answered, "Well, first I kick you three times and then you
kick me three times, and so on, back and forth, until someone gives
up."
The attorney thought about the proposed contest and decided that he
could easily take the old codger. He agreed to abide by the local
custom.
The old farmer slowly climbed down from the tractor and walked up to
the lawyer. His first kick to the shin had the lawyer hopping around on
one foot when suddenly the farmer planted the toe of his heavy work
boot into the lawyer's groin and dropped him to his knees. The attorney
was flat on his belly when the farmer's third kick to a kidney nearly
caused him to pass out.
The lawyer summoned every bit of his will and managed to get to his
feet and said, "Okay, you old coot, now ifs my turn."
The old farmer smiled and said, "Naw, I give up. You can have the
duck."
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Laird, Lori Magee. South Texas College of Law Annotations (Houston, Tex.), Vol. 36, No. 2, Ed. 1, April/May, 2004, newspaper, 2004; Houston, Texas. (https://texashistory.unt.edu/ark:/67531/metapth144562/m1/4/: accessed May 1, 2024), University of North Texas Libraries, The Portal to Texas History, https://texashistory.unt.edu; crediting South Texas College of Law.