The Southwestern Historical Quarterly, Volume 93, July 1989 - April, 1990 Page: 461
598 p. : ill. (some col.), maps, ports. ; 23 cm.View a full description of this periodical.
Extracted Text
The following text was automatically extracted from the image on this page using optical character recognition software:
Courtshzp and Remarriage of a Rural Texas Couple
enjoying together a partnership in life. Meanwhile, I have no objection to
allowing such freedom of acquaintance as shall enable us both to arrive at this
knowledge, and can therefore only say, in conclusion, that the commencement
of your addresses will meet with no obstacle from,
Dear sir,
Yours most faithfully,
To --, Esq.
In a culture in which single women were viewed as pure and inno-
cent objects of male veneration, widows (and divorces, who were less
common) were seen as capable of caring for themselves. They were
aware of the practical exigencies of life and therefore could be ap-
proached as rational beings rather than objects of adoration. While the
model courtship letters written by fictional young men to young women
they barely knew request permission to call on the young ladies or write
to them (with consideration of future marriage an unspoken item on
the agenda), the letters from a widow and widower, like the letter writ-
ten by David Fain, make negotiation toward matrimony the explicit
purpose of the relationship.
It is difficult to determine the extent to which actual courtships and
courtship letters followed the published models or the extent to which
such models shaped men's and women's expectations of courtship. Sev-
eral letters quoted by Ellen Rothman in Hands and Hearts suggest that
some degree of romantic rhetoric was frequently practiced in courtships
leading to first marriages. One young man wrote to his fiancee in 1887,
"You are my ideal, my counselor, my confidante, the one who gives
purpose and direction to every thought and effort." Another wrote
that his fiancee "fullfilled all that I have thought of and dreamt of in my
boyhood dreams." Many of the men and women studied by Rothman
discussed the importance of marrying only if one was truly in love.'
While romantic love seems not to have been a primary motivation for
David Fain, Jessie Bledsoe indicated that she would like to be the object
at least of affection. She replied in her first letter to David that she
feared "matrimony is a matter of business with you is it not?" She was
concerned, apparently, that he seemed to be looking for domestic assis-
tance and had not expressed any romantic sentiments toward her.
4 The Parlor Letter Writer, 11 (1st quotation); The Ladies Letter Writer, 56-57 (2nd quotation).
Similar or identical letters were reprinted in The Up-to-Date Letter Writer, 46; F. J. Strong, Stan-
dard Letter Writer (Chicago: Thompson and Thomas, 1902), 92-93, Hanford, Complete Letter
Writer, 151-152.
5Rothman, Hands and Hearts, 187 (1st quotation), 195-198, 201 (and quotation).461
Upcoming Pages
Here’s what’s next.
Search Inside
This issue can be searched. Note: Results may vary based on the legibility of text within the document.
Tools / Downloads
Get a copy of this page or view the extracted text.
Citing and Sharing
Basic information for referencing this web page. We also provide extended guidance on usage rights, references, copying or embedding.
Reference the current page of this Periodical.
Texas State Historical Association. The Southwestern Historical Quarterly, Volume 93, July 1989 - April, 1990, periodical, 1990; Austin, Texas. (https://texashistory.unt.edu/ark:/67531/metapth101213/m1/531/: accessed May 7, 2024), University of North Texas Libraries, The Portal to Texas History, https://texashistory.unt.edu; crediting Texas State Historical Association.