The Collegian (Brownwood, Tex.), Vol. 34, No. 23, Ed. 1, Monday, April 1, 1940 Page: 2 of 4
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Pagt 2
THE COLLIGIAN
Monday April 1 1140
THE COLLEGIAN
Entered at the Port Office at Brownwood Texas aa aecond claia mai
k Member
PHsocided Collo6iale Press
Distributor of
Gol!e6ia!e Di6est
FRESHMAN
Hirschell Rogers
Imenu Brown
.Kathlrene Riddle
Robert Hall
Inman Jobe -
Torn Eplcy
Blinn McClelland
Unsuspecting Readers
reshman
ideas printed have been theirs with the regular staff doing
only the technical work. We hope you have enjoyed reading
thia edition. Beatrice Dumas and the staff of The Collegian.
National Advertising Service Inc.
College I'ubUshrit Rtprenntathr
420 Malion Avk. nkw York N. Y.
Chicaoo toten Let aniim ln Pmrciico
EDITORS
Editor
Associate Editor
Society Editor
- Sports Editor
Associate Sports Editor
Business Manager
Circulation Manager
Student Body Members
The Morgue
Mr. L. F. Callaway wrote the
following letter to a business firm:
"Dear Sirs:
"Please send me one of your
razors. You will find a $5.00 bill
enclosed."
Mr. L. F. Callaway
P. S. I forgot to enclose tne five
but no doubt a firm of your stand-
ing will send the razor anyway.
The firm answered as follows:
"Dear Sir:
We are sending the razor as
requested. We hope it will be
satisfactory."
P. S. We forgot to enclose the
razor but no doubt a man with
your cheek will have no need
lor it.
The folowing letter from Hazel
Lewis to Dorothy Palmer was
found among our mail this last
week:
Dear Dorothy:
Say do you know what? I've
got something really important to
ask you. I've put it off as long
as I can so I guess I'll just have
to come across and ask you. But
first I want you to be certain that
you'll tell me your honest opinion
and not let any one else try to
make you believe otherwise. I
trust you fully or I certainly
wouldn't be asking you this ques-
tion and I hope you realize it.
The question is: "Do you think
Jeff will ever be as tall as Mutt?
Students doubtful about true
definition of love here it is:
"It is an itching around the
heart that can't be scratched an
experience from which you never
learn better and it's undefinable
because you can't feel it." Sev-
eral University of Georgia stu-
dents gave the above definition.
Others say "Love when returned
is man's greatest possession when
unretutned his sharpest thorn."
It is an experiment often tried but
never proved. Love is a misunder-
standing between fools."
No moon
No love
No boy
No vember.
Margaret Buchanan
The suns turned dim
The moon's gone black
For I loved a man
Who didn't love back.
Evelyn McDaniel
Love might be sweet
But to us it's rotten
For we love man
Who can't be gotten.
-Marjorie Conway
Patricia Noble
Vivian Clendenin
Today's Want-Ads
LOST One heart perfectly shap-
ed good as new. Lost by Quin-
tin Cauley. It is rumored that
Stella is the holder. Please re-
turn. FOUND An excellent Model T.
Blue and white. Report to Jun-
' ior Shults.
WANTED A dozen or more girl
friends each to boys at the
"White House".
FOR RENT My entire parlor-
Boys preferred. Mary Jo Emi-
son. FOR SALE Science Hall Cash
only. Lowest bid promptly ac-
cepted. FOUND A romance running
astray. Perhaps it could be
helped if one of the two boys
will make up their minds to
vacate. Girl concerned Myra
Lee Duffer.
WANTED A special program
honoring the recent marriage
of Zelma Newton and Roy
Owen.
WANTED Boy to make big en-
dowment for school Preferably
Billy (Skeeter) Stewart.
At Texas Lutheran College SO
per cent of the student body mem-
bers are relatives of former stu-
dents of the college.
THE FISH POND
Friends Romans Countrymen ! Loan me your ears (also
some cash if you got any.) I come not to bury the past but
to exhume the evil deeds of yesterday. The naughty things
a man (also girls) does Jive after him. The good (if any) is
oft interred in the society page. So let it be with the Goats.
These immortal words were impounded on our mind (yes
collectively speaking we have one) when we went to dear old
kindergarten and we find it still applying here in college. So
having used up half of our space with hit-air we'll try to
fill the rest with red-hot well luke-warm anyway stuff
and things which are guaranteed to be written in our most
malicious and villianous style.
Again we whip back our line
and let our fly (no not a whiz-
gnat) drift gently forward and
light on the water beneath the old
water elm ahem! Pardon us
Bob. We thought you were still
showing Aleta Henry the lab and
vice versa. Really Farris if we
were you we wouldn't trust the
lab bunch being around a sweet
dish like Aleta. Now that we have
seen her we know why you didn't
give Ruby much of a break re-
member? . . . And things are
coming to a bad end when a girl
has to pay twenty cents to get a
boy to take her to a two-fer show.
Yes we thought Kathlrene Riddle
had more on the bal lthan that
especially since the boy was Bob
Hall.
The old eternal triangle yas
yas yas. A real life story of the
loves of Floyd Grady. Lilly Bud
was sadly disillusioned when his
Ballinger flame Edith Chambers
a former Brownwood lass turned
up and made a threesome to the
preview. And at the Zephyr
preaching well. Now Floyd says
she's just a pal but Edith says
confidential like that they are
well you know. Lily are you go-
ing to be a wall-flower or a center-piece
?
Not only at 7:30 but also after
10 (PM) we hear the chimes of
an alarm clock on the campus.
Tsk tsk tsk. Thought quiet hour
began at 10. Three freshman
girls evidently don't know this.
And the milk delivery service
(from what dairy?) which in-
cludes placing the milk together
with an rather the alarm clock
on your window sill well some
service.
Bill Orton is still courting that
high school cutie such constancy.
Publicity didn't seem' to hurt Jobe
any. Delia Woolridge waits for
him in the halls between classes
nowadays. Too late for classifi-
cation Jessie Lee Turner was
one-nighting with a NTSTC man
who didn't positively didn't
like chewing gum. Details of this
are awful but gee it's sure fun.
Although hear-say is not evi-
dence in any body's court of law
we believe in it. Confidentially
we heard that Dewitt "Romeo"
McClelland has been trying to
raise the nerve (and also the cash)
to court Juanita Rochester. Re-
member Romeo we just heard
ihis.
Oh yes! We almost forgot that
Saturday night about three weeks
ago we saw Miss Blair with not
one but two men (?) Give out
some dope Baby we would like
to know more about this.
Also from the well-known
grapevine we gathered that Nila
Adams was looking favorable up-
on one of our local bankers. Too
bad everyone can't own a new
Ford like Pete's.
As our feeble brain staggers on
in the hope of finishing this col-
umn before deadline we sit and
wonder why the elusive Freshman
Jack Barnes has not been snapped
up by some female taking advant-
age of leap-year. This will cost
you exactly one milk-shake Jack.
Say haven't any of you males
en this fair campus got eyes? If
mine don't deceive me that mid-
term freshman Juanita Boyd is
one of the cutest little packages
that has been left on this estate
in many a day. If none of you
guys are going to wake up and
court her then lend us your gas
wagon and we will be glad to
show her the sights.
Seen nightly and daily at the
dorm are T. R. Christian and
James White. If you guys are
going to live over there Mrs.
Hunter would be glad to get some
rent from you.
Another daily occurrence wor-
thy of our mention is Yvonne
Thompson and a sophomore bas-
ketball player. Some guys get
all the breaks we wouldn't mind
walking home with her either.
We always did wonder why a
CUPID'S CORNER
In answer to last week's ques-
tion number 10098786756643 I
hope I can give some right smart
advice. The question was "How
can a stay-at-home not be a stay
at home?" This question was
sent in by Otis Page. I don't want
to get personal Otis but yours is
a good case to serve as a horrible
example to others. Personally
there is nothing wrong with you
but you lack technique. All you
need to do is to send one dime in
stamps or coins and you will re-
ceive free of charge my super
colossal book on "Speeding Up
Your Technique." Read it closely
and you will become the campus
Romeo if you follow its advice.
Don't follow it too closely how-
ever or you may end up on a
honeymoon.
My next question was along this
line also. It was sent in by Mau-
rine Davidson. This young lady
wants to know how to become
more than a passing fancy to our
local boys. Now Maurine I have
just the thing for you. All you
have to do is send in ten cents
in stamps or coins and you will
receive my booklet "How To Get
Your Man and Hold Him." I am
sure you will find just what you
want on page 111 sentence two.
I hope I don't have a sell out on
this book before you get in your
ten cents.
Now my last bit of advice is a
new idea. Yours truly is open-
ing a Date Bureau with headquar-
ters at the Dog House. If you are
too bashful to get a date for your-
self just call me up and I will see
that you are satisfied or get your
money back or anyway you boys
don't have to ask the girl again
if you find your night wanting.
You girls who are lonely send me
your name and for the sum of
fifty cents I will put you on my
list as eligible dates. This is a
sure way to gain that popularity
you have been longing for. Don't
delay send in today.
Yours truly
Penelope Hepplewaite Slegertwist
i m
From The Bell Tower
If the Three Musketeers could
sing and didn't have a d'Artag-
nan they'd be just like the An-
drews Sisters.
There are three Andrews Sis-
ters: La Verne Maxine and Patty.
They don't come in smaller lots.
When they first started singing
Patty the youngest was only
eight and their manager didn't
want her to go along. But the
Sisters put their feet down and
announced: "One for All and
All for One."
It's still like that none of the
girls will take a singing engage-
ment unless it includes the other
too. They're not married but if
you want to take one of them out
you'd better bring two roommates
along.
Fact Rack
Symphony concerts are the
eighth most popular program with
college freflhmen second most
popular with college seniors ac-
cording to Columbia Broadcasting
System Research . . . 95.8 per
cent of all college students CBS
research reveals have regular ac-
cess to radios while 60.6 per
cent of college students have ra-
dios in their own rooms . . . And
we've all heard now of the Prince-
ton senior who submitted his sen-
ior thesis on victrola records (20
gal like Marian Bynum the proud
possessor of a Buick could go
for a '27 Whippet out of a white
house. Nice work Nig. And
speaking of Bulcks Helen Hyser
drives a '37 model.
Line forms
at the
please.
right and
no shoving
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The Collegian (Brownwood, Tex.), Vol. 34, No. 23, Ed. 1, Monday, April 1, 1940, newspaper, April 1, 1940; Brownwood, Texas. (https://texashistory.unt.edu/ark:/67531/metapth100236/m1/2/: accessed April 28, 2024), University of North Texas Libraries, The Portal to Texas History, https://texashistory.unt.edu; crediting Howard Payne University Library.