The Collegian (Brownwood, Tex.), Vol. 30, No. 13, Ed. 1, Friday, January 10, 1936 Page: 3 of 4
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w
AS YOU LIKE rr
This column today should be fine
because you aee It is written In rhyme.
As a poet I do not rank with Poe but
you say that I already know. But
that makes no difference with me I
write what I like see. But the dope
I must tell pray that I tell it well.
Truth is always stranger than Ac-
tion so persue further this diction.
Katie Jule Crockett has the biggest
boner today. This is what she has to
say. In public speaking the question
this and believe you me she really
missed. The person you most admire
and why? Santa Glaus because he
brings me presents from high. A zero
was given so darn fast that of it will
ne'er be heard the last. So Katie in
the future ponder well before the an-
swer you do tell. And next time a
question you are asked I hope you
are better in your tasks. But the sex
that Is called the fair not all of them
make you pull your hair.
Whltey Morris pulled a dumber one
than that. It is too dumb to even
laugh at Frosh Alford studying for
a Bible exam. Saw Whltey and de-
cided to get the low down. "Whltey"
he asked "What Is John 3:18?" Hur-
ry up boy for the answer I am keen.
Whltey studied and pondered before
he had his say. At last he explained
"It's one of our football plays." With
that word he goes to the hall of fame.
Or shall I say rather the hall of
shame. For a Frosh that Is not so
bad. For an Upper It would be sad.
But oh Frosh you have lots of time
to learn. And in learning we hope
you discern. That the dumb answer
is sometime the best. 'Cause then the
laugh on others often rests. "He who
laughs last laughs best" is quoted in
this school. But sometime he is ac-
cused of being a fool. But to thee I
have this to say. Laugh if you can
yes laugh today. Because in your
after life you may not And your
laughter right. But in the days when
you grow old make sure your eyes
are gold. And around them wrinkles
so gay to show you have laughed lot
in your day. '
"Chug" Blair loves to pull a joke
but Bill Trammel turned one on that
bloke. "Chug" asked the question in
this way. Paul was king after he
was crowned how long? Speak up
Bill what do you have to say? Bill
awoke with a mighty moan. "Who
crowned him sir and for what wrong?
And then Trammel with a groan soon
was right back in his sleep. Smiling
no doubt over bis feat. A prize should
be given to one of these three. For
bigger dumbbells I ne'er did see. And
'tis reported or should I say said that
the prize should be worn round the
head. That all the world may see and
not wonder the reasons why they
made their blunders.
Am I not as much of a poet as a
sheep is a go-et?
Day After the Night Before
When pink elephants do a tango
Upon your bed room wall.
And your head has an awful whango
And your tongue Is like a ball.
When you look at the door
With eves all red and swollen.
Seeing there doors two or more
And solemnly swearing all are open.
Then you pick up your violin and fin-
ger with loving care
And the harsh notes of a mandolin
fall with awful discord upon your
ear.
When you look in the mirror
Thousands of them It seems to you.
And starring at you In horror
Are two shiners black and blue
Then you see a tooth absent
A big one there in front.
And your nose is all swollen and bent
It must have born the brunt.
Then you reach for the Alka Seltzer
With a trembling hand that Is bruised
and sore.
To thousand who have never been
there dear Cynic
This is the day after the night before.
This came signed which is very fine.
The signature only said a friend but
he Is merely a has been. Could not
be so cruel a friend of mine all my
friends are very fine. I do not go on
parties wild because I am only a
child. Drat it.
'TIs easy to write In doggrel verse
that Is If you know how to curse. If
you are by nature very mild and you
wish to get wild. Write something
that will please Hat and the others
too and you will know how It feels to
be a madman blue. Of all the things
that I have done this column has
been the least fun. So in the future
if you don't care I won't write this
column anywhere. So keep on in your
same old rut and never read a thing
hat will help you up. So If you love
"iktfl column true get somebody else
to write It I'm through. And here
goes the Cynic out the door he is not
a Cynic any more.
The ugliest person that I know
He is that wherever he goes
His name Richard D. Austin I vow
I'm going to stop right now.
a twrm.n.nt Federal youth assist
ance structure on NYA and CCC
lines Is being urged on ine govern
meat.
A stiff course In logic should be
required of English teachers says
Prof. Charles gwaln Thomaa of Har
vard.
W II I
Belfry Jingles
"iNailaaaMMMMMHIIMIIHHOTIriM
J. J. McDahlel has the airl and
everything except a day-time ren-
dezvous. Now why oh why was Truett
Shults seen at Medical Art Hmmltnl
at five In the morning with nothing
dui nis pajamas on 7
Red Whltaker writes home that he
is not doing so well In basketball. He
says that he can still Intercept pass-
es but that they won't let him run
with them.
Several students by now know that
Lougenla Broocke Is one of the more
prominent diarists.
Here's a hot tip for aspirers to the
affections of the Invincible Sara Col-
lins. By her own admission she loves
to be knocked down and be made to
like It. One pace forward you cave
men.
Personal habit note: Dorothy Grif-
fin attributes or should her success
at handling rushing crushes adeptly
through keeping regular hours. There
are certain nights she is studying at
eight-thirty and others she is sleep-
ing at nine. Sensible schedule but
how can she do It?
The Cynic never completely solved
the triangle affair which involves
Eileen Satterwblte and David Parks.
There are several boys around willing
to give the thespian lad assistance in
this little question.
With the graduation of Morris
Rodgers Mr. Blair seems to be the
only faculty member who still carries
on a kidding campaign aimed at Ro-
berta Moore and Melton Smith. Pop-
ular indoor pastime last year.
It is rumored that Tink Adams will
run the mile this spring with bis one
good leg. If you knew Tink as we do
you would know that he wouldn't run
the mile if he had two good legs.
The three caballeros from the Rio
Grande rate higher and higher with
the poor little blonde gringas on the
campus. Randal McLelland finds his
after-office-hours engaged in the
company of Broocke and Peggy and
his office hours with Maurtne. Or is
this libel. Woodrow is doing very
well too.
Leaird Meadows has indicated that
he favors Rice Institute over all oth-
er Texas football-playing universities
with the possible exception of TCU.
Beans Morris likes basketball as
well as football. In fact Beans tells
us one meets so many more types of
boys while playing basketball than
football. Even the third string offers
these advantages.
Warning to Alice Earl Anderson's
b. f.'s: If you have keys or other val-
uables be careful or she will either
lose them or lock them up In some
Inaccessible spot.
No one even suspects that we are
soon to have an admiral In our midst.
Notice of removal: Tom Wallls be
lieves the new climate will agree with
him. He is still within back-yard
earshot of his old pal Wllllngham.
Tlssle wants to know If "Papa"
Little Is really a father.
Mm RiizAheth la looking forward
to Spring as she usually does at this
time of year. A swim in me pooi
the basement of the gym Is still her
desire.
Come. come come J. Lee you've
been holding out on us. Who is this
attractive young H. P. C. femme that
we saw with you?
t mm from a reliable source
that a committee from tne racuity
has been doing quite a bit or nosing
nrmtnri in Hie fine arts building late
ly. What have you fine arts boys
been doing now?
QhuHn and Bell will never have to
.... ohrmt mnWIncr a llvlner. Both
WUftt nw . o ...
nrA ffettinsr to be aulte adept at tne
art of meal-getting. Yes they bring
in the bacon and the tapioca ana
the pudding.
nu iii rhnrioH Fowler accldent-
"j "-""".:. u .......
ally break Trueii buuhb wuitu j-
tal? Keep your arms where they be
long Truett.
Y.. ... Ulan la snld to bo the OnlY
riauico . - -- --- -
i- n.b Mint Jim't envlOUS Of
UCIBUII 111 v. -
.. . - i..-fe.l DnK Daplra
of tne iaie grauumvu ..-.
According to our slyest snooper
Dim.. inioi- hnn been sDendlnir quite
a bit of her valuable time In the com-
pany of a very nanasome xenuw j-
ket. What's the matter with these
Hill Billies anyway.
D Ulnbman ahoWfl A distinct Sign
of having a broken heart. Her cus
tomary bag of scraptron wasm "
the Christmas tree this past Christ-
mas. Fred Sailing is still catering to the
whole flock. Fred doesn't believe In
giving any of them the benefit of the
doubt.
Pete Roach didn't doo well in last
Wednesday's Spanish class. He said
that he didn't feel so well. Oh well I
We wonder why Squibb Webb and
Tink Adams made that long walk
from way out on Coggin especially
when there was a perfectly good grey
ora iert at the curb.
FASHIONS
Of The Hour
y SARA COLLINS
I B BJLBJULB 9JUUJJJJJLXASLAJUUJL
The mid-season that Is upon us
now has done no serious damage to
our wardrobes but there are new
things to brighten them up. Bright
scarfs with monogrammed pins bril
liant mittens during the last cold
weather. Suits continue to boom but
much the newest Jackets are those
that are finger-tip and belted or but
toned at the waist. The object of the
straight full length coat Is to look
younger and neat and ready for what-
ever fun Is In sight.
In the evening the floating drapery
is still good but pleating and shirring
has transferred Its allegiance to the
bodice from the skirt.
Legs are very much in evidence for
the skirts are growing shorter and
the hemlines more uneven.
Pleats have traveled the wide world
over and return as good as ever. In
Tarzan's next picture you will prob-
ably find him wearing pleated leopard
skins in competition with Jumbo's
pleated ears. In other words pleats
are good. If you don't have a pleated
transparent dress wear a silk jersey
or a thin woolen one.
The picturesque flounces frills
drapes etc. of the past few months
have been replaced to a certain extent
by the dark tailored evening clothes
easy to wear easy to look at
flattering to the young figure.
Are you one of those people who
love the outdoors in this crisp weath
er? If so wear manly sack suit suit
ings Scotch things square those prize
fighter shoulders and you can laugh
at the cold.
Flash! Red is out for the evening!
That is the solid red dress that for a
while has flamed across the dance
floor to the strains of "Lady in Red"
down to "Red Sails in the Sunset."
Shiny white satin tailored severely
takes Its place. Satin pantalettes
showing under slit evening skirts may
be kin to the gay "nineties" but they
seem to be popular.
All the military frogs that infested
suits and dresses like the Egyptian
plague must give their place up to
peculiarly printed silks especially
that silk printed with black and white
ponies.
Wear Chinese colored felts jade
coral amber.
m i
Princeton Freshmen
Work Out Ingenious
Scheme But Slip Up
PRINCETON. N. J. Eohraim E.
Di Kahble Princeton freshman who
furnished a nine-days' mystery to stu-
dents and townspeople here has been
unmasked.
"Dl Kahble" Is five members of the
Hans of '39 who had the notion that
by giving their "man" a big enough
build-up they could elect mm treas-
urer of the freshman class to the
confusion of the university authori-
ties. Newanancr advertisements offering
$10 for a football ticket a ride to the
Yale game for a number of uncler-
trmdimtos. "for their comnanv." and
an ad asking for an orange and black
gulena pig constituted tne ouua-up.
A New York evening newspaper
unwittingly helped the hoax along by
carrying an interview witn ui ttanoie
hut the nlnt fell throuerh when student
suspicion was aroused by an adver
tisement In The Dally Frincetonian
asking for old razor blades "for melt-
ing purposes."
k i
HORTICULTURAL SPECIALIST
EXAMINATIONS
The United States Civil Service
Commission has announced open com-
petitive examinations for a number
of horticultural specialist positions in
the Bureau of Plant Industry De-
partment of Agriculture.
The positions are: Senior geneticist
(horticulture) $4600 a year; cyto-
logist (horticulture) $3800 a year;
morphologist (horticulture) $3800 a
year; physiologist (horticulture) $3-
800 a year; associate pathologist
(horticulture) $3200 a year and as-
sistant physiologist (horticulture)
$2600 a year.
Applicants will not be required to
report for examination at any place
but will be rated on their education
and experience and on publications
or a thesis to be filed with the appli-
cation. They must have been gradu-
ated with a bachelor's degree from a
college or university of recognized
standing upon the completion of at
least 118 semester hours with major
work in certain specified subsets re-
lated to the position. In addition they
must have had responsible research
experience in the field of horticulture
corresponding to the position for
which they apply. A certain amount
of postgraduate study may be substi-
tuted for experience.
Scrapiron s Humor
y Charles Wllllnaham
Liz: What is your favorite Indoor
sport?
J. Lee: Slttinar in the narlor and
telling the girls how poor the shows
are.
-LAUCH-
Wlllingham: My roommate Is In the
hospital being censored.
Wallls: Censored? Why what do
you mean?
Scrap: Having several Important
parts cut out.
LAUGH
Junior: That's my foot please get
off.
Mrs. Wright: Why don't you put
your foot where it belongs?
LAUGH
Jerry Bucher: You made a mistake
In that last prescription that I gave
my mother-in-law. Instead of quinine
you used strychnine.
Druggist Murray: You don't say
well In that case you owe me twenty
cents more.
LAUGH
Alimony is taxation without repre-
sentation or anything else.
LAUGH
Doc: Did you wear the flowers I
sent you?
M. K.: I didn't wear anything else
but my friend.
Dov: My goodness where did you
pin them?
LAUGH
Warbling Senior: I found a million
dollar baby In a five and ten cent
store.
Elizabeth: O now I know where
babies come from.
Safety of Rugby Over
that of Football May
Lead to Its Adoption
NEW YORK. The safety of rugby
as compared to football and Its small
expense together with the ease with
which the game can be learned are
arguments for wider adoption of the
English game being offered by ath-
letic authorities aroused by this years
high toll of gridiron deaths.
Football fatalities this season equal-
led the peak year 1931 when forty-
six players were killed.
Because the highest number of fa-
talities occurs every year among high
school players and because many
high schools have dropped regularly
scheduled football rugby is advocat-
ed as an especially suitable substi-
tute. "It is my sincere belief that rugby
can take an Important place in the
scholastic athletic program" says Ed
Dickinson rugby coach at Nassau
College Hempstead L. I. "Due to
injuries and the expense of equip-
ment a number of schools have dis-
continued playing American football.
Although those of us interested in fos-
tering the sport would like to see
rugby develop as an early spring
sport it Is evident that the game can
fill an Immediate fall need in those
schools not playing football.
Dickinson played for three years on
the Yale varsity team and at present
plays with the New York Rugby Club.
He is vice president of the Eastern
Rugby Union.
A rugby player can be equipped
for about $3.50 Dickinson said in
contrast to the $75 necessary correct-
ly to equip a football man.
Rugby is a highly individualistic
game Dickinson said. The rugby
player is one of a group voluntarily
cooperating to advance the ball
meeting the emergency as it occurs
and conceiving plays on the spot as
contrasted to a football player who
Is a cog In a machine carrying out
a given assignment under order from
the signal caller.
!
The Chronic Diseases
Are Nothing Compared
to Habitual Knockers
Rochester N. Y. "Loyalty oaths"
and the "ballyhoo of college athlet
ics" were denounced here by educa-
tional leaders gathered for the formal
Induction of 34-year-old Alan Valen-
tine former master of Plerson College
at Yale as fourth president of the
University of Rochester.
Dr. Valentine who was a star ath-
lete at Swarthmore and a member
of the Olympic team at Paris in 1028
spoke out against over-emphasis of
intercollegiate athletics. President
Angell of Yale speaking at lunch-
eon which followed the induction de-
nounced the compulsion of loyalty
oaths as "transforming education in-
to propaganda."
"There are those who would judge
a university by the number and ex-
tent of its columns in the public
press" Dr. Valentine charged. "They
reflect too clearly the temper of
American life today.
"Tho fine art of ballyhoo is not
one of our more attractive national
talents and Is wholly adverse to the
values for which a university should
stand. There are kinds of publicity
which are worth less than nothing
because they appeal only to those
cheaper Instincts which do not seek
to encourage."
m
Doctor (to pretty patient) : You cer-
tainly have acute appendicitis.
Pretty patient (calmly): Now doc
tor
k
Heat of ordinary stars Is placed at
close to 3000000000 degrees by Har-
vard observatory scientists.
DOWN THOSE
PA AND MA
Professors Discover
Death Ray With More
Power Than the X-ray
BERKELEY CAL. University of
California scientists here have com
pleted the set-up for man's first ex
periments with a really lethal "death
ray" 14 times as powerful as the X-
ray and so dangerous that approach
from any direction to within 50 feet
is unsafe.
The ray Is a powerful beam of neu-
trons the ultimate particles of atoms
discovered four years ago by English
scientists.
The first sizeable beam of these
neutrons is produced in the heart of
the field of an 80-ton magnet by a
method discovered by Prof. E. O. Law
rence of the University of California.
Involved though at present unpre-
dictable are possibilities for the fields
of medicine chemistry and general
industry. The neutons streaming in
all directions from the big magnet
are not stopped by any known type of
shield not even by lead. They pass
through the yard-thick colls of the
big magnet as If it were so much pa-
per and nothing will perceptibly slow
them down except water.
To experiment in safety the Cali-
fornia physicists have set up a remote
control panel 50 feet distant from the
magnet with a tank of water forming
a three-foot thick barrier.
As easily controlled as an electric
light the beam is produced by a 12-
000 volt current "stepped up" to 4-500000-volt
beam of neutrons.
m i
Memorize the Material
Go to Bed Immediately
and You Will Remember
ITHACA N. Y. "If a person mem-
orizes certain material perfectly and
goes to sleep immediately afterward
he will recall more of It and also re-
learn the whole task more economi
cally after a lapse of 24 hours than
If he waits even a few hours before
he goes to sleep" said Dr. H. M.
Johnson professor of psychology at
the American University in Washing-
ton D. C in a lecture at Cornell re-
cently. Experiments showed that students
could more easily recall and relearn
material they bad learned by rote and
partially forgotten if they first slept
for eight hours and then worked for
16 hours than if they distributed rest
and activity in any other way during
a 24-hour period.
Two hypotheses have been advanc-
ed in explanation Dr. Johnson said.
The "hardening" hypothesis suggests
that one's brain is Inactive during
sleep and being free from disturb-
ance offers recent impressions a
chance to "harden." The "reverbera-
tion" theory holds that the brain Is
active In sleep in the sense that the
recent excitations tend to revive them-
selves or "reverberate" so that one
actually rehearses the recently learn-
ed tasks and gets the benefit of addi-
tional practice.
Neither is positively feasible Dr.
Johnson said.
College students haven't changed
much in the half-century he has been
observing them says William C. Mc-
cracken retiring superintendent of
buildings at Ohio State.
Q
ueen7s
uality
3 1 1 Fisk St.
III!UlliUIIlimiUll!limililHUllilIl!ll!l!illUIIIII!UII!!lilH!!l!!III!immiliUllin!milllIiH!l!!limmillillUmiUlHil
NOTICE! Shampoo-set 35c Facial 75c
Permanents $1 up. Work guaranteed
SELLERS 1200 Avenue H
iiinnimimnmi
AUSTIN MILL & GRAIN COMPANY
Modern Millers
GOLD ARROW FLOUR CAKE FLOUR
GOLD ARROW FEEDS
Telephone 1 4 Brownwood Texas
ANGELOANS
for
HITHER AND YON
"The government helium plant at
Amarlllo Is the only one of the kind in
the world.
"Texas has a permanent school
endowment fund of more than $76-
000.000.
"There are higher mountains in
Texas than are found In all the east-
ern part of the United States.
"The railroads of Texas would
reach across the United States five
times and its highways would go
five times around the earth.
"Texarkana is closer to the capi-
tals of fifteen states than it is to
El Paso.
"El Paso Is closer to Los Angeles
than it is to Beaumont.
"Dalhart In the Panhandle is
closer to North Dakota than It is to
Brownsville.
Tent Apartment Good
Until Snow Drops In
State College Pa. Compared to
his wall tent with its kerosene lamp
and sturdy army cot John Clenden-
In Pcnn State freshman doesn't
think much of the room in town that
snow and colder weather have forced
him to move into.
Until just the other day Clendenln
was camping in the woods outside of
town doing his own cooking on a
small wood stove and studying by
lamp-light with no sound to disturb
him except the rustling footsteps of
an occasional small animal.
"It's not so bad here" Clendenln
said at his new residence "but I
liked my tent better. I wasn't so
cooped up."
He will go back to the woods In the
Spring Clendenln said.
The sophomore "Vigiliance Commit-
tee" of Dickinson College Carlisle
Pa. was run out of existence by fresh-
men this year.
m i
"Abie: "Papa I saved ten cents to-
day. I ran all the way to school be-
hind a street car."
Abe: "Why didn't you run behind
a taxicab and save a dollar?"
THE BET
in the
JEWELRY
AND
NOVELTY
LINES
will be found
at
J. L BROWN
&SON
222
Center Ave.
JEWELERS
OPTOMETRISTS
Brownwood Texas
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The Collegian (Brownwood, Tex.), Vol. 30, No. 13, Ed. 1, Friday, January 10, 1936, newspaper, January 10, 1936; Brownwood, Texas. (https://texashistory.unt.edu/ark:/67531/metapth100104/m1/3/: accessed May 3, 2024), University of North Texas Libraries, The Portal to Texas History, https://texashistory.unt.edu; crediting Howard Payne University Library.