Heritage, Volume 6, Number 1, Spring 1988 Page: 11
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A sermon was reprinted in its entirety in
the Austin paper in 1881 that well exemplifies
the ideal for women. The rector of
St. David's Episcopal church said:
"We would like to have their thoughts like
the lily for whiteness. Therefore, we try to
keep them from the very knowledge of evil,
for we know well that the very thought of
evil communications have power to
corrupt...Do we sufficiently protect their
ignorance ? Men no longer wait to be invited
to the house by parents; few parents trouble
to become acquainted with the beaux of
their daughters; young ladies stay out until
any hour of the night and parents do not
know when they return; it is taken foolishly
for granted that all are ladies and gentlemen."
(Austin Daily Statesman, December
11, 1881.)
Southwell (1949) also suggests that
there were a large number of elopements
(such as 0. Henry and Althea) because
young women had little choice in whom
they would marry.
Marshall Pease, eight years after the
event, recalled his fear and shock upon
proposing to his wife and receiving little
response, implying that there was not a
clear communication about the possibility
of marriage between a courting couple. He
thought he had made his feelings very clear
to her, he says, and she seemed to be very
surprised when he asked her to marry him.
She only agreed to marry him several
months after the proposal, and then by
letter saying how honored she was.
It was not unusual for upper class young
people to find mates elsewhere. Pierre
Bremond, whose lifelong home was in
Austin, went to St. Louis to marry Nina
Abadie. He may have met her while going
to school there, or they may have met when
she was visiting relatives in Austin. A
humorous article appears in an undated
clipping of Nina's, probably around 1890,
which decries young men who go out of
town to find wives when the women of
Austin are known for their beauty and
accomplishment, and, besides, there were
so many more young women than young
men there. (Austin Daily Statesman, 1890?)
MARRIAGE AND SEX
The Victorian era is notorious for itsembarrassment about sex, within or outside
of marriage. Therefore, very little is
said about it publicly. However, as an example,
two books were advertised everyday for months in the Austin Daily Statesman
in early 1890 that promised to explain
sexual matters.
"Women and Marriage. A new and complete
guide to wedlock. (Positively the best
published) With chapters on a competent
womanhood, evidence of virginity, sterility
in women, advice to bridegroom, husband
and wife, celibacy and matrimony compared,
impediments to marriage, conjugal
duties, conception, confinement, prostitution-its
causes, science of reproduction,
law of marriage, law of divorce, legal rights of
married women, diseases specific to women,
their cause and treatment, etc. A book for
private and considered reading. By mail,
sealed, for 50. Address: Dr. Butt's Dispensary,
St. Louis, Missouri"
"Marriage Guide. An illustrated work in
100 pages, a private counselor to the married
and marriageable on the mysteries of the
sexual system, its abuses, etc. Latest discoveries
in the science of reproduction; how to
be truly happy in the married relation. Male
and female, young and middle aged should
read and preserve it; it contains information
which no one can afford to be without; on
how to preserve the health and complexion,
and give to failed cheeks the freshness of
youth; the best and only true Marriage
Guide in the world. Price 50 cents by mail.
The author may be consulted personally by
mail on any of the subjects mentioned in his
work. Dr. A. G. Glinn, Chicago, Illinois."
Large families tended to be the norm,
even though childbirth and its attendant
dangers were clearly not desirable. It is
probable that in Austin, as elsewhere,
women had little information about birth
control. Word of mouth, friend-to-friend
was probably the main source of such information.In any case, the stated ideal for marriage
in Austin and all over the Victorian world,
was exemplified by the famous poem
"Angel in the House" by Coventry Patmore,
which sold more copies than any
contemporary poem besides Tennyson. "It
is a very full expression of the idealization
of womanhood that is central to the theory
about woman's separate domestic sphere.
The angel is introduced as purer than Eve,
but she is not simply innocent; she exercises
power in secret and subtle ways."Because "Angel in the House" is such an
important expression of the ideals of the
time, the portion entitled "The Married
Lover" is quoted here:"Why having won her do I woo?
Because her spirit's vestal grace
Provokes me always to pursue,
But, spirit-like, eludes embrace;
Because her womanhood is such,
That, as on Court-days subjects kiss
The Queen's hand, yet so near a touch
Affirms no mean familiarness
Nay, rather marks more fair the height
Which can with safety not neglect
To dread, as lower ladies might
That grace could meet with disrespect
Thus she with happy favour feeds
Allegiance from a love so high
That thence no false conceit proceeds
Of difference bridged, or state pursue
Because, although in act and word
As lowly as a wife can be
Her manners, when they call me lord,
Not with her least consent of will,
Which would my proud affection hurt
But by the noble style that still
Imputes an unattained desert;
Because her gay and lofty brows,
When all is won which hope can ask;
Reflect a light of hopeless snow
That bright in virgin ether bask;
Because, though free of the outer court
I am, This temple keeps its shrine
Sacred to Heaven; because in short
She's not and never can be mine."
It is hard to imagine the angel engaging
in or enjoying intimacy with the man of the
house. This tremendous contradiction between
human nature and a stated cultural
ideal must have caused great stresses for
male and female in the Victorian era.
Nevertheless, children were born. Hallie
Bremond had two in her early twenties,
then twenty years later had two more. She
died shortly thereafter. Lucadia Pease
married very late, about age 38, had two
little girls and no more.
Books by professional males began to
intrude very much into the affairs of
women. Numerous books gave advice on
childbirth and the care of infants. The
experience and wisdom that women had
passed along was sharply countered by
"scientific" advice by medical men.
There was apparently a good deal of
reticence about the process of childbirth,
too. Lucadia Pease, in writing quite personal
letters to her family, skips the wholethree week period surrounding the birth of
each of her children and says nothing
about it later. Her husband merely reports
to Lucadia's mother that she had been11
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Texas Historical Foundation. Heritage, Volume 6, Number 1, Spring 1988, periodical, Spring 1988; Austin, Texas. (https://texashistory.unt.edu/ark:/67531/metapth45435/m1/11/: accessed April 25, 2024), University of North Texas Libraries, The Portal to Texas History, https://texashistory.unt.edu; crediting Texas Historical Foundation.