The Alto Herald (Alto, Tex.), Vol. 8, No. 10, Ed. 1 Friday, February 14, 1908 Page: 1 of 8
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A!,TO, TEXAS, FRIDAY, FFLRUARY 14. 1908.
About the Grip
The grip is probably best
described as a movable, str„
tionary pain. It moves to ;i
hundred places in a minute
without leaving any place,
hence it upsets all laws of na-
ture and science by being
both fixed and movable.
The objects of the grip, ?;o
far as ascertained, are to make
humanity miserable and cre-
ate a deniaiul for whiskey.
In the working out of these
it is succeeding admirr.ple.
Tiiere is 110 safe rule for
measuring the misery it 'ias
a.aer.dy dumped upon the
world, but statistics show in-
creasing consumption of whis-
key in spite of the fact that
about half the country has
gone dry.
The birthplace of the grip
is said to be Siberia, but this
is disputed 011 good grounds.
Siteria probably furnished
the chill part bnt there isn't a
caloric bed anywhere except
in Hades that could have
touched into life the warm
end. The preparation has
never been thoroughly anal-
yzed but the best chemists say
it is composed of equal parts
of iceberg, blizzards, aqua for*
tis, high-life and hell nre.
The symptoms of grip are
positive and unmistakable.
I11 the stage of preparation or
incubation you feel like you
had stolen the rattle from
your neighbor's baby and sold
it to a junk dealer. Two
minutes later you become dis-
satisfied witli your surround-
ings and weep and wail be-
cause you didn't migrate to
Gehenna or Bonliam week be-
fore last. Then von cuss
your wife vow to vote the so-
cialist ticket, and go to bed
with your pants on. After
the first day the symptoms
change materially. Your head
feels like a room jammed full
of lighted powder, with 110
space or air hole for the thing
to explode. About the same
time your stomach begins to
SLCtiic and surge and roar like
Mour: Pelec 011 a Christmas
tear And your bones run to-
Rheumatism
hftTtl W<fl<l Mhl frcM.WW 0
itwflun! Truuxfy th will utuw jl
Sni I owl *Lt >lr ttflthi r«Ii ««<1 WW <
Dili ilry.-ucliks
Dcrraat^t
whU-iiCr.l
1 ov vta l'imwiw
3muit HC K«w*dy
rat. 1 u<- ^lUr " ""*•
io?iflJ>'dr.u£4<1!iw 9<v Tfc<«
auo t<* ■ owy urotr rU« actl<«r of tliw rHWoT M
SSi* 11 &T. «ur f ri 'f t y
Dr. Sheep's
Rheumatic Remedy
•'ALL DEALERS''
FORSALEATPANIC
PRICES
$80 00
.... 65 00
... 15
00
00
20
5 °o
20 00
10 00
9
One Good All Around Mule ~.l
One Mare and One Yea * Old Colt .
One Sow end Four Pigs, in fine fix -
Twelve Head of Cattle at Market Prict
One new Spaulding Buggy, with pole and shaft and double harnc
harness, cost $130, will now sell for 100 00
One New Mower and Rake, a bargain at £5 00
One Pea Huller, O. K„ cost $ 30, at
One Hand Mill, cost $10.30, at.
One RemingtoivShoics Typewriter, cost when new $100, at
One Edison Mimeograph, cost $20, at
One Oliver Steel Plow, cost $12 50, at_
One John Deere Chilled Plow, cost $9, at ..
One Single Barrel Shot Gun, cost $8,50, at
One Sulky Spring Tooth Harrow
Two Spike Tooth Harrows
One pair Andirons, cost $1, at
One Grindstone, fixtures and frame.. 1
One A No. 1 Cant Hook
Two pair Cotton Scales, cost $2, at
One pair of Wagon Check Lines
One Device for Laying Off Land
One 7'foot Dexter Cross Cut Saw
One New Post Hole Digger„cost $1.25, at
One Spade, cost 75c; one Shovel, cost 75c, price each ..
Ono Wire Stretcher, cost 65 cents, at
One 8/prong Hay Fork, used for hay, manure, corn, etc 12s
New Oak Bedroom Suit, with mattress and spring, cost S3L50 2 > 00
One Library Oak Table, cost $3.75, at-.- - — 2
One M "S3, at -
One Center Table..: - $1 00 Two Wash Stands
One Writing Desk, cost $750, at ...
One Mirror, 18x24, walnut frame, cost $8.50, at
One Iron Bedstead, with Spring and Mattress
One Oak «•"""
Six Walnut Cane Seat Chairs
Ooe Wh* Spring Cot 51 00 Two Tables
About 400 pounds Bacon and Hams, corn fed, and well smoked
and cvred Bacon at 10 cents, Hams at .......
About 25 bushels Sweet Potatoes at -
About Three Tons Oats at Market Price
About Two Tons of Bermuda Hay at Market Price
00
00
00
50
50
75
00
1 00
1 00
1 00
1 25
2 00
1 00
50
40
1
1
5
4
7
6
3
1
50
50
50
50
00
00
00
00
50
14
50
Many other articles ct value will sell at sacrifice prices
Plow Gear and CaUars, Plow Shapes, consisting ot
Shovels, Sweeps, Coulters and Bands, Hoes, Axes,
Steel Wedges, Mauls, Saws, Hames, Hatchets, Sad-
dles, Squares, and many other articles too numerous
to mention. Sale will last only a short while, so
come and secure bargains while the opportunity lasts
W. E. ARRANT
ROUTE No. 1. ALTO. TEXAS
gether like molted lead. No
matter whether your life has
been that of a saintly chris-
tian or a miserable sinner,
you pray that you may die;
and you don't care a fig whe-
ther prayers are said for the
repose of your sonl or not;
you ^arc more than willing to
change the pain you havu for
the very worst on the other
side of the riv^r Styx-—You
simply cuss the boatman be-
cause lie doesn,t hurry.
Treatment ol the grip is'
of small concern. TJ.e any-
thing that's bandy without
fear of its doing a iy damage
or proving beneficial to i\e
slightest rdegrec. D >n,t be
afraid of narcotic*; if you
swallow an ounce oi up'.ir.. it
won't put you to sleep or
bring surcease
of pain; if
your feet are cold don't hesi-
tate to sear them with a red-
hot poker it won't blister
them, neither will it impart
the slightest warmth. The
standard remedy is whiskey;
doctors prescril>e it, not be-
cauce it will do any good; but
because it is the only thing
thr.t can make a fellow feel as
bad as grip itself. A whiskey
headache has been known to
make a fellow forget the grip
backache and thus afford a
moment's relief.
All the grip convelescents
shor.ld be confin?d in a mad
house or a dog kennel.
(If there are any exagera
tions in the ?bove please re-
member that we haven't fully
recoved.*— Jim Lovry, i:i the
Honey Giove Signal.
Nt M.:KK 1
o
Notice
The Young Men's Debat-
ing Society and the Young
Ladies' Gary Club t>f Doug-
las will celebrate Washing-
ton's Birthdap in grand style
The following distinguished
speakers will address us 011
that clay. Messrs. A.T. Rus-
sell, Frank P. Marshall, Wal-
ton Day, W. E. Foazcl1 mid
probably Hon. \V. L. O'quinu
of Lufkin and Hon. II. (J.
Watkins of Jacksonville.
The Debater's Union will
also meet here 011 the night of
the 22d. Every one invited.
COMMITTKK.
Fo driving out dull bil-
ious feeling, strengtliincr the
appetite auci increasing the
capacity of ti:e 1kk!v for work,
Prickly Ash Hitters is n gold-
en rc.ucdy. A. C. Harrison
& Co. .ipecia' n^ents.
Bryan 72, Tatt 43,
anrl Hughco 20
The Independent, in a re-
cent issue requested it." read-
ers to anticipate somcv/ha'
ihe action of the'coming p> 1 -
cal conventions by iirlieatiug
what, in their view, re the
chief issues which shoald be
formulated in the pla'f irms,
and who a*e the cm lidates
best representing those prin-
ciples. As for expressions
relating to issues, the Inde-
pendend says: "To not *i few
Eastern people and journals
that have talked of Roose-
velt's panic, it will be both
startling and instructive to
see how nearly unanimous
the sentiment in favor of
maintaining and strengthen-
ing the present policy ol the
Government for the restraint
of privileges. Indeed, that is
the only issue raised except a
a few letters in favor of prohi-
bition and socialism.
The letters recieved show
that in the Republican party
Taft leads with a poll af 43
per ccot of the votes, closely
followed by Hughes with 3K
per cent. La |Follette and
Roosevelt tie, each with 7 |>er
cent. The remaining 6 per
cent arc scattered between
Knox, Cortelyou and Fora-
ker. Cannon and Fairbanks
are not even mentioned. In
the democratic party Bryan
leads the field, having 72 per
cent of the vcte, with the re-
mainder distributed about
equally between Johnson aud
Folk.—News.
Bright's disease is more
dreaded by physicians than
any of the serious disoiders
with which they have to deal
because of its insidious and
malignant character. If action
is promptly taken when head-
aches, urinary disorders, di-
gestive troubles first appear,
much suffering ar.d sorrow
would be averted. Prickly
Ash Bitters will quickly stop
the spread of tlie disease,
qniet the inflammation, heal
the kidneys and bladder,
strengthens and regulates the
liver, and drive poisons and
imburities out of the system
A. C. Harrison So 1, ;>ecial
agents.
.1 . n lj •■g?.-
"rrsr
W. J. WOOD
Pairuor, Paper H uger
and Decorator.
A!! work promptly atu-m'. ; >, at
tiphi prices. ALTO, TiiN
J. M. CRAW^OR
PHYSIC!.\N
and SURGEON
Tenders Ins proi'^sionui m. i a
theciii/.en- f Alton i I su. .
inr ceiui'.Hiiiit;'. Ofi:- - i
A11'.-11 .Si \Vi!'!ains' di.. • • >
R. M9CL \J R
AH0rnf.y-at-L.1w
r J "f^trry l iibr?
Office ov r I nit-' ! E rik ..nd
Con ;u >1 u, IcXiU
J,
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till 1-
li ol"
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McClure & McClure. The Alto Herald (Alto, Tex.), Vol. 8, No. 10, Ed. 1 Friday, February 14, 1908, newspaper, February 14, 1908; Alto, Texas. (https://texashistory.unt.edu/ark:/67531/metapth213988/m1/1/: accessed April 20, 2024), University of North Texas Libraries, The Portal to Texas History, https://texashistory.unt.edu; crediting Stella Hill Memorial Library.